Christ-mas Recap 2012

Our little world sure has been busy!  Have I ever mentioned that V's family is huge, huge-huge!  Thankfully after 6 Christmases I have everyone's name down, such was not always the case, yikes! :)

This year we started establishing our own traditions and I made sure to inform V's mom, I love her but she would certainly eat up every free second we have if I don't set some boundaries.  Christmas Eve we got up early as usual and ate, I had lit a tree scented candle and put on some Christmas music while setting all of our gifts in the center of the living room for Liam to rip into.  He had such a blast pulling bows and ribbon off, he even pulled the wrapping paper off (something he's never had much interest in it before).  Because V's family is so large we didn't over indulge Liam, we bought him a few outfits, some jammies (tradition starting), a little toddler chair and a magna-doddle all of which were a huge hit with him so mission accomplished.  V and I did gifts and played with the little guy until nap time.

While Liam napped I made some green beans as my contribution to Christmas dinner at V's paternal grandparents house later in the day.  (They turned out just a little spicey but everyone seemed to enjoy them as there were no leftovers, also no one noticed I used turkey bacon!)  Dinner was fun, then we all went to our respective church services which was a challenge with no childcare, Liam only sat through half of the
Christmas morning V got up with Liam and let me rest since I hardly slept the night before, after a short nap we all scurried around and got ready (while making a egg side for brunch) to head out to V's parents for the day.  Brunch was fun and tasty then we opened gifts.  It was nice to have both V's paternal grandparents and maternal grandma there with us again.  Although I have to admit I was getting nervous as we were passed Liam's nap time again, it was a recipe for disaster, but he did ok through gifts and loved opening anything anyone would let him.  He's such a little ham when surrounded by family, it's obvious that he is so love which just warms my heart to watch!  He was spoiled with more toys by each and every person (almost).  Thankfully after that he took a nap and so did I!

The rest of the day we lounged around, more family streamed in and out, lots of snacks were had and white elephant gifts exchanged.  V and I went home earlier than planned so Liam could have a relaxing bath before bed and all of us could get much needed rest.  Even V turned in early.

All in all it was super busy but very fun.  Next year I really want to focus more on building our traditions and making it less about stuff and running around and more about the true meaning that it should be.  I'm hoping since we'll be in our new home that some of the celebration can be had there.

I hope each of you had a fantastic Christmas!
Much Love,
Jen

Lazy-ish Weekend

With all the stress I've been dealing with over the last ~2 weeks I was a bit over whelmed when it came to this weekend, we had a lot planned and I started to get anxious, I just didn't see how we could really get it all done....so I started canceling whatever I could.  More than anything I needed down time with my family (and maybe a workout).  May I just say, Mission Accomplished.

A brief overview of our weekend:

Friday Night: Dinner with V's parents & a Movie on the sofa after Liam was in bed (Men in Black II, very good btw)

Saturday:
Shortly after we all got up and had eaten breakfast V insisted I head to the gym for my favorite BodyCombat Class and I listened, it was wonderful and I needed it
Liam and I did Parent-Tot swim lessons, so much fun!
Lunch & Family nap time
Liam and I ran a couple errands (I found an adorble shirt at The Gap 50% off!)
Liam and I grabbed smoothies (his first) before heading home for dinner with V and play time
After Liam was in bed V and I did our own thing, I finished The Last Lecute (I highly recommend it!) and went to be early...V played video games


Sunday:
Liam slept until almost 9:30am, two hours later than normal which means we all got to sleep in....it was glorious (we also missed church again, oh well).
After a lovely lazy morning we all got ready and ran over to have Liam's picture taken with Santa (I had cancelled our appt with the photographer we usually use and decided to just get an affordable one which turned out great!  10 mins in and out)
Liam is currently napping while V watches tv and I mess around on here, later Liam and I will volunteer in the nursery at church for evening service.

This weekend was exactly what I needed, I could really use another two days like this!  My stress level has dropped significantly (Thank God!) and I feel as prepared as I can be for the week ahead.

Much Love,
Jen

Building Our Home: Offer Accepted

Oh my tummy turned a little as I type that, in a good way of course.  I literally just received an email from our realtor that our offer will be countered in the morning, the developer will pay 70% of our closing, good enough for us!  I called V and we agreed we would accept his counter......holy cow, we are really building our first home!

So it begins, I can not wait for all the things we get to pick out, I know it will be totally overwhelming at times but I think I'm ready!!!   I know I'm more than ready for Liam to have more room to run and play!

Building a House: The Waiting Game

Perhaps God is using this experience as another opportunity to teach me to be patient.  I wonder how that is going.....cuz I'm not a patient person.

Something I didn't expect about building a house; because we are building in a subdivision we picked a model and some upgrades and I thought you just paid the listed price, like buying boots at Target. 

Apparently not, the developer even told us "let me know what your offer is".  Later in the conversation he also mentioned the builder wanted permission to build a spec. home through the winter to keep his crew busy.  Two key things that led us to believe there was some wiggle room on the price.  Here's the thing though, I don't want to offend this guy, he seems very on the straight and narrow.  After speaking to our realtor he suggested that we ask him to pay our closing costs and use that money to purchase upgrades to our home (we planned on the upgrades anyway)....so we did.  We officially placed our offer this morning....so the waiting begins.  The developer has until Thursday to get back to us, I wish he'd just accept the offer as is so we can break ground!!

I'm so ready for this whole process to get rolling!!!

Building a Home: Selecting Our Lot

Last night after work V and I scurried over to a meeting with the developer of the subdivision where we plan to build our home.  Our realtor is out of town so one of his associates went with us, unfortunately we arrived before her.  BUT fortunately the developer was waiting for us and one of the nicest people I have ever encountered! He even shared with us a story about how he came up with the names of a few of the floor plans, the cheapest one was for his father and when he told his father about that he said "that was alright" with a smile....the floor plan we like is after his mother because she would have liked all the storage and the vaulted ceilings!

Once our stand-in-realtor arrived we began discussing all of our options.  V and I already knew what floor plan we want because it's the same as the home we made the unaccepted offer on.  We  will make a few changes to differentiate our home from that one.  Then we reviewed the upgrade options and were given a list of options for our lot.  We all agreed that V and I would drive out over the weekend and select our lot then we'd write up our buy-sell with a closing date roughly 120 days out.

This morning V let me sneak away for a workout, I got home just in time for Liam to snuggle and go down for a 3hr nap.   Once Liam finally woke up we all ate lunch and headed out to look at lots.  Since we had reviewed them the night before I *thought* I knew which one I liked but we both wanted to look and make sure.  I am SO glad we did!  We drove up and down the street, through the ally, parked and looked at the homes surrounding each lot and took into consideration distance to the park.....and we BOTH agreed on one.  Can we just take a minute to soak up the fact that we both agreed on something with ease?!  Whew!  I have a lot of peace about it, I really (REALLY) like our lot.

So now we just need our realtor to get home and write up our buy-sell agreement so they can break land!  Good thing he gets home tomorrow because it's snowing as we speak!

After that we'll have a million decisions to make on decor, so far V says it's all in my hands but I don't buy that for a minute, he's too opinionated! 

Juggling

Some days I think I rock at this whole super-wife, rockstar-working-mom gig.  Then there are weeks like this one.  Oy vey!   I'm sitting at work sipping a much needed latte and I could easily fall fast asleep right here, right now.

Some weeks I can rock out five or six healthy dinners, get lots of quality time in with Liam, have the whole house fairly well organized, all the bills paid early and even get a workout or two in.  Not this week, it's Friday morning and I haven't gotten a single workout in, there is hope for tomorrow...kinda.  The bills that are due this week are paid but I'm not ahead of the game like I want to be.  Some of the house is clean and I made....one healthy dinner.  In all fairness with Liam's fever that lasted Monday-Thursday morning I was just making him things I knew he would eat so he would eat something (homemade mac and cheese with peas).  I haven't skimped on the quality time with Liam because it's always at the top of my priority list. I only straightened my hair today because we have a meeting with the builder right after work, otherwise I'd be rocking wet-hair-pulled-into-a-ponytail style.

I'm exhausted.  I feel like I'm just barely keeping up and no where near getting ahead.  I feel like I'm juggling but I keep dropping all the balls.  I don't feel like a failure though because I'm still trying, you only fail if you give up.  All I can do is make a list and start checking things off one-by-one.

I'm sure all moms feel this way at times, maybe we put too much pressure on ourselves, who knows.  I don't think I'll ever be a "whatever" kind of mom, I'm always going to want to have it all; tons of quality time with Liam, clean house, healthy dinners, finances in check, happy family, career....I want it all and damn it I'm going to bust my ass until I have as much of this dream as I can.

Not entirely sure if there is a point in there, just a healthy dose of honesty about this week.  I'm just glad the election is over, we all know the result know so maybe people will keep a few more opinions to themselves, one can hope!

On House Hunting and {Potentially} Building

The house hunt has been.....interesting.  A few weeks ago we went out with our realtor and saw four homes, three of which were foreclosures.  It was slightly depressing to see these homes and know that someone had lived in them, loved them and lost them.  But if we found the right one we were ready to do some work and love it ourselves.

Unfortunately we didn't find one that was love worthy.  I must admit there was one I really wanted V to love, the backyard was to die for!  This was nearly twice the size we'd get with any new(er) construction and backed to undevelopable property (simply because of location).  But the house needed more love than either V or I was really willing to give.  The other homes weren't really worth mentioning here.

So a few weeks have gone on, V and I have been doing a lot of research and have been looking at every real estate site under the sun.  But nothing new popped up, nothing worth looking at anyway.  There are only a couple of subdivision here, one of which that you can build in....but V and I are using his Veteran loan and bank in our area aren't doing VA construction loans.  We felt stuck, at least for the Winter, maybe something would come on the market in the Spring? We hoped.  On a whim V emailed the developer of the subdivision where we put an offer in on a house that wasn't accepted, he explained our situation and asked simply if they planned to build any more houses of the layout we liked.  One hour later the developer emailed us back to tell us that they have worked with VA loan people before and will carry all the building cost until the house is built then we can buy it!  We can even pick out several variables, we'd sign a contract before they break ground with a closing date of about 120 days out.  V and I spoke with our realtor to make sure he'd be paid (yes, through the developer like the sale of a already built home) and discusses some other concerns and everything came up roses!  It's almost too good to be true!

So that is where we are, we meet with the builder this week.  It's pretty likely that we will sign our contract this week and break ground next week.  It's hard to believe that we will likely be building our first home, the home Liam will grow up in.  I'm totally in shock!

Has anyone else out there built?  Advice?!

It Still Stings

This has been on my heart for a while and it's time to get it off.

If you've read my blog for any amount of time you'll know three things about me: I'm a fitness nerd, We had a difficult time getting/staying pregnant, and I had an Autoimmune Disease for just under a year.  The last one was a bit intesnse but I feel like it really shaped me, taught me some things and I'm blessed beyond measure that it went away (after I was told it was a chronic and lifelong issue).

My baby toddler is a miracle, an absolute miracle....it's a miracle I got pregnant, stayed pregnant, delivered him safely into this world without a c-section.  He's healthy, easily the happiest person I know and just an absolute joy, even when teething.  During the 11 months I dealt with my ITP V and I came to the forced conclusion that it was best I don't have more babies.  It hurt, a lot.  I felt like the decision was taken from me (even though we weren't sure we'd try for more children before my diagnosis).  Eventually, aka about two weeks before I was told I was in remission, I came to terms with it, I even felt at peace with it.  Then on Aug  20th, nearly 11 months to the day after I was diagnosed I received news I never expected; I was in remission.  My heart lept and one of the first questions was "Do you think, if I am able to get pregnant again, that it will trigger my ITP to come back?"  Unfortunately the answer was "yes, although we have no way of knowing until it happens."  As you can imagine V wants me to stick around, Liam too.  V is not open to me getting pregnant and playing "Russian Pregnancy Roulette" as he calls it.  Who can blame him, I mean I don't want to leave him or Liam....nor risk loosing a pregnancy/baby....or my life.

But...I yearn for another child....truth be told another pregnancy.  I haven't morned the fact that I'll never feel the little flutters of a baby in my belly, never see my stomach grow and grow with life inside again.  I tear up at the sight of a beautiful pregnant woman.  And yes I get jealous of pregnant friends just as I did when we were struggling to get pregnant with Liam.  Recently someone gave back some of my maternity clothes, she didn't remember that I told her we would be unable to have more babies.  Gosh did that hurt.  There in my hands were these clothes, items I invested in with hopes of at least one more pregnancy....clothes I lovingly wore as I joyfully carried my Liam.

I know what you're thinking: Then adopt!  Or foster!  Both of those things are potential options in the future but neither of them replace the longing I have, nor will they ever.  If you don't understand that is fine, you probably didn't have to try to get pregnant or maybe you never feared you'd loose your pregnancy/baby.  Thank God for that for you, it's ok you don't understand.  I don't know how much time will have to pass before my soul finds true rest with this....maybe it never will but I know it's the right decision.  Like I've said before if I could have just one thing for sure it would be more time with those I love.  I won't risk loosing all the time I could have for the chance of another pregnancy/baby.

I guess my point is it still stings, I wonder if the day will ever come when it doesn't anymore.

We Didn't Get the House

So we submitted an offer on Tuesday evening with the parameters that we would hear back in 24 hours or our offer would become null and void.  24 hours came and went, our realtor tried reaching the seller's realtor over and over saying this was "very odd".  I knew we had gone in low but expected a counter, that was the advice we were given so I was confused when we simple got no response.  Frankly I'd never heard of someone just ignoring an offer (especially when I know we are the only activity on the house).

This morning (Thursday) our realtor awake to a email from 1:30am from the sellers agent, odd indeed.  The seller is choosing to ingore our offer entirely, they gave us an itemized list of "updates/upgrades" the home has and informed us that they value the house $10k above the list price.  WTF?  I could list several reasons why that simply isn't true but the most important one is that our market simply won't command such a price for a home with only a few upgrades (some of which aren't included in the sale of the home).  And apparently the seller got the $8k first time home buyer credit 3 years ago, the rules of that credit say you have to live in the house 3 fill years or repay the $8k, so he's factored that into the price of the house.....yeah we aren't going to pay for your decision to sell.

So V and I are walking away.  I'm sad because we do really like the house but like I've said before it's not even worth the list price and certainly not worth $10k over that (at least not in it's current state with an unfinished basement, no a/c etc etc etc).  That house will set the standard for others we look at and I feel like our journey to home ownership is going to be much longer now but it is what it is.  The chances of us being in a new home before the end of the year at super slim.  But the silver lining is that we will continue to build up our savings and pay down my student loans and everything will work out in God's perfect timing.

Much Love,
Jen 

We may have found Home....

I have researched and researched, asked question after question and know almost all there is to know about this house, it's all in line with what we want and can comfortably afford.  V fell in love immediately, I fell in love when we walked through it a few weeks ago.  I look at it online....a lot.  We've prayed a ton and feel like this is the one for us, now we just have to start the negotiations. Last night after work Liam and I met our realtor at the house, I just wanted to stand in it with Liam.  It was so sweet, he was immediately comfortable and quickly starting cruising around the house (which is a one-level plus unfinished basement).

 I've talked it over with those who have far more knowledge about this stuff than I do and they all seem to think we can get it for what we want (which is less than the list price).  Our first offer is on the lower end, we are anticipating a counter and as long as it's about in the middle we will be homeowners by Thanksgiving.  I can hardly believe it.  My only worry is if the seller doesn't need to sell it and can wait it out for a asking price offer, it's a nice home and we sure do love it but it's priced above where we feel is rational (and comfortable).

I've daydreamed of our first holidays there, of walking to the near by park, of having friends over for bbqs/dinners (something we have never done in our rental).  I dream of how we can finish the basement (bedrooms, a family room and spare bathroom as well a the laundry area). My heart leaps a little at the thought of Liam knowing it as the house he grew up in and calls home.  *cue tears*

If you have any spare thoughts/prayers I'd love one for us during this journey!

We're Buying Our First Home!

Well, soon we will be! V and I were just pre-qualified for our first ever home loan!  I couldn't be happier!  We are in a really good, stable place where home ownership is within our reach, I never thought we'd get here.  We live in a area where incomes are lower and the cost of living is high, but the recession and current low interest rates have given us an amazing opportunity!

via google images

I've been looking at homes online for well over a year, it was my hobby and just a daydream.  This weekend we went to a few open houses, looked at the newspaper and had some really great talks.  It's so exciting!  V's cousin is a realtor so he'll be helping us on this journey.  Ideally we'd like a three bedroom, two bath single-family home.....by the end of this year.  We'll see!

Homeowners, past and present, advice PLEASE!

Much Love, Jen

Sometimes I'm All Puppies and Rainbows

And today is one of those days!  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've gotten a lot of physical activity in this week.  Two days this week the smoke [from nearby forest fires] had cleared out enough for walks and last night V convinced me to go to the gym You always feel so great afterward and always regret it when you don't go.... He was so right.  Oh the endorphins, glorious endorphins!

When I'm feeling this good I always try and take inventory Why do I feel sooo good?  I guess part of it is to be thankful and perhaps remember these good things when things don't seem so great. 

Today's Happy Things Inventory (in no specific order)
-Work is good, I recently had my mid-year review and it was fantastic (dare I say I'm sure I'll get a fantastic raise this year?)
-Liam is amazing, as usual.  He's walking, right on the cusp of completely shedding crawling, holy moly! 
-I have gotten in four days of physical activity! (Since Monday was a holiday I took a Spin class while Liam napped, walks on Tues & Weds with Liam and a 30 min run last night.  GLORIOUS!)
-Our car is officially paid off, very much ahead of schedule!
-I had a pretty interesting situation arise recently, while it didn't work out it has sparked a interest in me that I'm going to go after. Yay for adventures!  (More details on this as soon as I get them worked out!)
-V and I are doing pretty good, which is a far cry from a few months ago so I'll take it.  Progress is progress.
-I'm wearing a new and adorable dress that makes me feel pretty.  This is the dress.
-It's FRIDAY!

I'm sure there is much more but these things alone make my heart over flower today.

Much Love,
Jen

Weekend Adventures

It's Sunday morning, Liam is napping and V is watching the Olympics.  This weekend has been amazing!  I mean no one doesn't love weekends but sometimes they are full of chores and obligations.  As I type this I realize there is no chance of us making it to church, again.  But ya know what?  God knows the content of our hearts and I'm not waking my baby to race out the door, not today.

Friday morning G'ma picked up Liam and brought him up to the lake where most of the family had been for a good week.  I was a bit hesitant at first because they wanted him to spend the night at the campsite but a chance for a date night after work and a little extra sleep on Saturday morning made the decision for me.  We are very blessed to be surrounded by V's family, they love all of us but especially Liam and can't get enough time with him.  I have been extra run down lately so letting Liam enjoy extra time with the family while I got extra sleep seemed like a win-win.  And it was!

V usually let's me choose where we eat so that night I let him decide, he chose a local place, it was pretty good.  I was just happy to have some time with my hubby!   We had a nice time then decided to check out a new game place that had just opened.  They have go-carts, games, lasertag and more but I can't remember it all, lol!  We played some games, laughed a ton and gave our tickets to a little boy who thought he won the lottery.  It was a wonderful time!  We got home just in time to watch some of the Olympic  Games opening  ceremony celebration.

A pic I took of the view on the trail. I love this place!

Sunday morning we got up, got ready and grabbed burritos from the healthy food store here and hit the open road (with V's sister in tow, oy).  After a mere hour and half we arrived to my happy little boy beaming with joy! I hadn't been to this lake a years and forgot how beautiful it is.  Liam needed a nap so the guys (plus V's sister) went fishing while MIL and I hung out.  Everyone got back just before Liam woke up, we all ate quickly and headed off on a hike to the waterfalls in the area.  I wore Liam in  his framed pack, boy is he getting heavy!  I was hoping to use this pack next summer but I think it's only going to make it though this one! Ek!  I'm proud to say I was able to pack him both in and out!  Go me for getting some cross training in! ;)  Liam did great, he loves hiking and being outdoors!  He even napped on the way out.

After we got back to the campsite we all snacked and hung out while for a while before Liam needed another nap (he was pooped!).  I waded into the lake, oh how I regret not bring my swimsuit!  The evening went by quickly and before we knew it the time to head home had come.  We packed up Liam and all our stuff (MIL had brought quite a bit up for him) and headed back home for showers and bed time.

Today I'm tan, sore and so content!  This is how all weekends should be!  I hope each of you had a great weekend as well!

Much Love,
Jen

Feeding a Tiny Person

When we first starting giving Liam solids around 5 months I remember thinking this isn't so bad!  Until we ran through all the basic purees.  Then it was like hmmmm....what else can I make him?  (I made ~90% of Liam's food, it was easy even for this working momma!).  As Liam grew I'd try to change it up with the ultimate goal being...I didn't want to raise a picky eater!  I tried hard to expose him to a wide variety of foods, still do!  Overall I think I did a good job, he eats just about anything and has even grown to like carrots (once his arch enemy).

Now that Liam is One Year Old! (How did that happen?)  I feel like he's in this brand new place, he can eat a vast majority of things we eat!  It's wonderful, most of the time. We just introduced Whole Cow's Milk and in true Liam fashion he likes it.  We are in the process of eliminating bottles as well, almost there!

Here's the thing.  I sorta liked it a bit more when Liam was around 8-9 months, when there were still things I felt he wasn't ready for so I was making him a meal and making us a different one.  It really wasn't all that bad, most of the time I had things I could throw together quickly for him that were healthy.  Liam loves to eat right when we get home, right when we get him...5pm sharp.  (V doesn't get home until about 6pm).  Sometimes when I felt lazy I'd make Liam his healthy little dinner and skimp on V and I (or we'd have something super easy like cereal).  Now that Liam is big enough to eat most things we eat so it's silly, and way too much work, to make two dinners....but I don't always feel like eating a healthy dinner! Most of the time yes, not always though.  But my Momma brain doesn't really want Liam eating these less healthy items.

In the grand scheme of things I realize one less healthy dinner is not the end of the world but my stance is this:  He has his whole lifetime to eat whatever he wants, I'm responsible for giving him a healthy foundation. I guess I just need to be more prepared and plan out our dinners a week at a time, that's going to take some motivation! 

These are the things that I think far too much about!  Someone tell me I'm not the only one who thinks (or once thought) way too much about this!

Much Love
-Jen

Child-free Time

I will be the first to tell you I don't like spending time away from my child.  Judge if you must. I get about an hour before work and less than three hours after work with him each day, anything other than Liam time can wait until after he's asleep or the weekends.  This has taught me mad time management skills, I thought I was organized pre-Liam, Ha!

However somethings are just impossible with my little sidekick...well at my side.  Like preparing for a mini family vacay.  About once a month we let Liam sleep over at V's parent's house.  Usually we use this time to get extra chores done and maybe sleep in a little on a Saturday morning.  This week I just knew we couldn't get as prepared as we wanted with little Liam crawling behind us and it would be impossible for one of us to get everything done after he went to sleep, hence Liam got to sleep over at G'ma & G'pa's!  He loves it there, we got a ton done....win-win.  (Aside from the fact that I miss him like crazy and it's only been 24 hours, I can't pick him up for another 8, boo work-boo!)

One confession I'll make; I so enjoyed sleeping an extra 45 minutes this morning, taking a nice long shower and taking my sweet time straightening my hair this morning.  I ate my breakfast slowly and didn't have to pack up Liam and the car and drive the 20 or so miles ('round trip) only to rush to work.  This morning has been kinda lazy and wonderful. I even had the house all to myself for a half hour because V goes to work before I do, sweet silence how I love thee!  I miss Liam more than I can say but I've enjoyed the free time, if only for a few hours.

Now it's off to work, I can't wait for our mini-vaca!

Celebrating My One Year Old

This Saturday friends and family will gather and celebrate my little boy's first birthday.  Little boy, not really a baby any more.  He's waving like mad and side-steps around furniture, walking is on the horizon! 

My bestie is making mounds of sweets, I've got almost all the decor ready now as long as the weather plays nice we should have a fun little time.  I've planned a few games that the kids can play if they'd like, the adults can just mingle and hang out.  (V's family is so big that we invited 60 people almost all of which are solely family). 

I'm excited to celebrate him with those who love him! 

A year ago today I was in labor....

It's hard to believe.  I've spent the whole day glancing at the clock and remembering exactly what was going on at that time one year ago today.  (You can read Liam's birth story here.)  I'm finding it difficult to put into words the emotions I've experienced today but it's been wonderful to look back on.  I'm literally sitting  crying as I type and re-type this trying to find the right words to express the joy I have because of this little boy, the happiness he's brought to my life in the last year and what a blessing he is and I can't.  There are no words to express how much I love him, how much I love being his mom and how I would do anything, literally anything, for him.   All I can say is I believe in miracles, I know they happen because I'm a mom and when you look at me [medically] on paper I probably never should have been able to have a baby and I do, I have the most amazing baby boy on the planet and I am the luckiest momma there is.  One year ago today my life changed forever because I was in the process of welcoming my son.


Much Love
-Jen

Would You Parent Differently?

I've heard this question asked of older generations, the whole "in retrospect" concept but that isn't exactly what I'm talking about here (although I gladly invite any advice etc).

What I'm focused on is this; If you knew the baby in your arms would be your only, would you parent him/her differently?  As the reality that Liam will be our only child finds rest in my soul I think about this question/topic often.  Knowing he'll be my only child and these days are fleeting I am so much more willing to snuggle him extra at bedtime, play longer in the tub etc.  I'm beyond grateful that I got to have one amazing baby, he defines Miracle Baby.

Some days are easier than others, I feel like this decision was taken from me due to my autoimmune disease but it's the smart thing to do, it's my reality and there isn't much that will change it.  I'm not saying I'm a better parent but I do think this perspective makes me more patient with Liam, I lavish my love on him even when I'm tired and would love some time to myself, I look closely at him with an intentional smile trying to soak up every single moment and store it in my soul.  I intentionally seek extra time with him, I schedule anything I can when he's napping (on the weekends) or asleep for the night (during the week).  Daily I promise him that no matter what I will be there for him, I will love him and support him. 

It's a hard thing to know; that regardless of whether or not you could have more children...you shouldn't.  (I started to go into the details of why we have chosen to not have more children and it got a bit too emotional for me.  The facts are I have one amazing miracle baby that means the world to me, I have more than I could ever ask for and I am grateful.)

Much Love,
Jen

Edit to include: I kinda lost my train of thought last night....So what I was getting at is, if you knew that baby/child in your arms would be your one and only, do you think you would do anything differently?  I'd love to hear feedback!

Motion Sickness

I have never actually been motion sick however with the rate at which life is moving I'm starting to think I might!

I feel like every time I turn around another day/week/month has come and gone!  This week I had to travel out of town over night for the first time since Liam was born.  Ek!  Not only that I was gone TWO nights.  I know for some that might now be a big deal but for me it was.  I attended and presented at my regions annual meeting.  Thankfully it was so insanely busy the days flew by despite being 12-14+ hour days, by the time I got to my room each night I literally fell into the bed and asleep....seriously it was a struggle to undress myself and take off my make up! 

Back on the home-front, V was rocking it single-dad style.  I won't lie to you I was nervous.  Like most moms (working or not) I think of and take care of 95% of Liam's needs.  I did a lot of prep for V but the execution was all on him....and he did great!  Unfortunately Liam developed a cold while I was gone which meant he slept worse than usual (he typically wakes up once per night, while I was gone it was 3-4 times minimum).  I may sound like a bad wife here but I have to say a part of me really looked forward to this time away....not the part of being away from Liam but the part where V would gain a deep understanding of all I do every single day.  Boy did he ever! 

I don't want to give the impression that V isn't a good Dad because he is a very good one, however I do far more than him everyday.  Just by the sheer natural of our working hours and jobs I take Liam to daycare and pick him up, before V even gets home I have fed Liam and started our dinner (I don't always cook, I will admit that).  Essentially I spend an extra hour a day just taking Liam to and from daycare.  Once V is home he needs to shower, often Liam needs a bath....you know, all the normal things.  V typically puts Liam to bed and I read to him.  But I digress, V got a real hands on understanding of all I do and is very appreciative. :)

Hopefully I won't have to make too many over night trips in the near future, being away from my little guy was hard....I have so enjoyed all the extra snuggle time! :)  Next up are Liam's One Year Pictures, then his First Birthday......(he'll be 11 months next week!)...please time slow down!

Much Love,
Jen

Torn Between Nana & G'ma pt 2

You may recall that I recently wrote about being torn between Nana (who watches Liam 4x/week) and G'ma wanting to retire and watch Liam full time.  Essentially I wanted Liam to stay with Nanna and V wanted the opposite.....

V and I finally found time to sit down and have a long and thoughtful discussion on the topic.  Parenting isn't always easy, for me a vast majority of it comes naturally but some discussions seem like mountains, this was one of them....and as usual V and I had differing opinions.  I pride myself on being able to see both sides of most things most of the time, V is a little more black and white.  My train of thought was; while Liam would benefit from the extended amount of time with G'ma & family ultimately he would benefit more from staying with Nanna at least 3 days/week.  It important for G'ma to stay G'ma and not become our employee, I want her to enjoy and look forward to her time with Liam and additionally if she is able to work from home it will not be realistic to get work done and watch a toddler.  Nanna is family to me, not only does Liam love her and the two girls Nanna watches but at this point he's going to be an only child and it's important for him to have the exposure to other children.  I was a bit amazed when V agreed.  We decided on: Nanna watching Liam 3 days per week and G'ma could watch him 2 day/week, those days must be consecutive because we believe it's important for Liam to have consistency.  Right now G'ma hasn't made a firm decision on when she will retire so we are just going to leave things where they are and when her decision is made we'll advise her of ours.  Whew, one more decision down now only like 4 million more to go! :)

Much Love,
Jen