On Monday I took a much needed (and deserved) day off to spend with Liam. I intentionally didn't make plans with friends, I just wanted some Liam time and it was wonderful! He slept in so I got an extra hour and half of sleep which was amazing (fellow Mommas, can I get an amen?). Before he rose I popped out of bed and made us some scrambled eggs and cut up fresh fruit. V got Liam up just before he had to head to work.
Liam and I spent the morning just playing and reading, it was glorious! However, after a weekend spent mostly at home I could tell he wanted to get out of the house. How did I know this you ask, because he wouldn't stop bringing me his coat and shoes! Little stinker! I got the hint, I popped him in his crib with a few toys while I took a very short shower and threw my wet hair in a ponytail. I dressed both of us and off we went! Our mall has a play area for smaller kids (under 5-6) which on the weekends is so over run with older (and unruly) children Liam never wants to go near it. I knew on a quiet Monday morning it would be heaven, with coffee in hand it was confirmed! I should have brought the camera (because I'm too cheap to pay for data I don't own a "smart" phone), the pictures would have been awesome but enjoying the time was amazing! Liam ran around with another little boy his age, up the stairs and down the little slide a million times! We stayed there until Liam was super tired then it was home for lunch and nap!
V's mom gets off really early on Mondays, she came over after work so I could run off for a bloodwork appointment. I was not excited, I thought up every excuse in the book to not good and secretly hoped MIL would cancel. She did not. I arrived at the lab and after checking in was greeted by a familiar nurse. Who am I kidding they are all familiar at this point! LOL! The whole process was simple and quick but I was nervous enough that I was sweating like mad...gross and annoying but thankfully I don't think it was obvious. I asked her if my dr would have the results today, she replied Oh yeah but you know doctor's you won't hear from them until tomorrow or Weds. I smiled and said Okay but she recalled my story from previous visits and offered to call me with my platelet number later. Let me just say right here I know that technically she should not have done this and it's not in her job to deliver what could have been very bad results BUT she offered so I gladly accepted.
Three hours later I was home just cleaning up after dinner assuming the nurse had either forgotten or my results weren't good and she decided against it when my phone rang. Hi, Jen? This is Nurse X. Your numbers are low but really good for you, your at 126k! Congrats! I thanked her about 11 times before letting her go, with teary eyes I told V. Hugs all around!
A little recap: (Normal: 150k+)
Diagnosis: Sept 2011: 10k
Sept/Oct 2011: Treated with Predniose, I responded well but after coming off my #s steadily went down
April 2012: 90k (per my hematologist < 80k=dangerous/treatment needed)
Remission: Aug 2012: 300k
No Remission for Me: Nov 2012: 115k
This month: Feb 2013: 126k
So it appears that I do indeed have a chronic case of ITP which I will have to monitor for the rest of my life, the good news is that my body is currently holding it's on. I'm in a place where my internal medicine dr is fine monitoring me and I can proceed with confidence in my Half Marathon training! God is so good and faithful when we give things up to him, he has provided for me and I couldn't be more thankful.!
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
February 15, 2013
February 8, 2013
In Other News: Time to Start Training
This week I had a horrible nightmare about my upcoming Half Marathon in Portland on May 19th. Essentially everything went wrong in the most bazaar ways. I woke up with my heart pounding and feeling as though I had not slept a wink. Maybe my brain knew training way coming?
This morning I received an email the the course route had been revealed. Not a huge deal since I live out of state, it's not like I can train on the course but it is nice to know. It looks like it will be beautiful! Then I got to thinking, I threw out my old training plan but had written a good guideline in my planner at work, How many weeks do I have before I need to get on it? None, well this week. Training officially, and gradually, starts next week. Holy Moly! Reality set in big time! My boss is doing several races so we chatted about how nervous we are, it's nice to have her to bounce ideas off of.
The moral of the story; I'm not too worried. I can go out today and do 5 miles with relative ease (my current pace is: 11:36-11:00). I'm about 40% of the way there, not too shabby. Don't get me wrong I will have to work for the other 8.1 miles but I feel like I can do this. I've been cross-training , Hello Bodycombat, which I believe is helping immensely. And having done my first race under a year ago I feel like I have a good grasp on my body (what it needs, what helps etc).
Who else is doing a race soon? How are you feeling?
-Jen
This morning I received an email the the course route had been revealed. Not a huge deal since I live out of state, it's not like I can train on the course but it is nice to know. It looks like it will be beautiful! Then I got to thinking, I threw out my old training plan but had written a good guideline in my planner at work, How many weeks do I have before I need to get on it? None, well this week. Training officially, and gradually, starts next week. Holy Moly! Reality set in big time! My boss is doing several races so we chatted about how nervous we are, it's nice to have her to bounce ideas off of.
The moral of the story; I'm not too worried. I can go out today and do 5 miles with relative ease (my current pace is: 11:36-11:00). I'm about 40% of the way there, not too shabby. Don't get me wrong I will have to work for the other 8.1 miles but I feel like I can do this. I've been cross-training , Hello Bodycombat, which I believe is helping immensely. And having done my first race under a year ago I feel like I have a good grasp on my body (what it needs, what helps etc).
Who else is doing a race soon? How are you feeling?
-Jen
February 1, 2013
The Thoughts in My Head
I've writen, edited, deleted and re-writen this post more times than I care to admit. It's time to just give in and publish it.
-Jen
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You know the kind, the ones that only surface when you are tired and don't have the energy to keep them at bay or during your dreams when you're not totally in control. The kind that pop into your head suddenly at 3am and keep you awake when you are desperate for sleep. Yeah those kind.
I've been avoiding the fact that I had routine blood work done in November, I wanted to establish care with a standard 'ol internal medicine doctor and have my cholesterol checked for good measure. We discussed my interesting health history (including diagnosis and remission of my ITP) and it was decided to check my platelets for good measure. I was told if everything were fine I'd receive a letter in the mail with a breakdown of my blood work. Instead I received a call. I'm no longer in remission. After just three short months my platelets have gone down by more than 50% and are were below normal, but not at a dangerous level. Right now my internal med dr is ok with monitoring me again in a few months, depending on that result I'll have to find a hematologist (I can no longer be treated by Dr T due to my lovely insurance). I'll be checked again in around 60 days as I'm planning another Half Marathon. The time has come to have my numbers checked so it will be in the next three weeks as I'm about to start training for my second half marathon.
This news was a blow, obviously not as bad as last time but a blow none the less. I told only a couple friends and waited to tell V because his uncle was in the hospital, he had a heart and was still being monitored. I needed V's uncle to be a little better before I could burden V with this news. After a few days uncle was released and Thanksgiving had passed so I brought it up to V, he handles things differently than most people (I think), and often times I have to tell him exactly what I need from him because he follows my lead (if I'm freaked out he freaks out, I'm typically his rock). So in this instance where I was sad and a little freaked out, I needed him to be my rock. Initially he got kinda defensive which hurt. I had to explain to him that I'm not as freaked out as last time and that this will not determine how I live my life but I am sad and I should be allowed that. Once he understood where I was coming from he was supportive again. It was strange this time around, I didn't want to hear all the puppies-and-rainbow business, I just wanted to be sad for a moment. I'm really relating to Christina on Parenthood right now though her diagnosis is clearly much worse than mine.
The holidays were nice, they allowed me to been to push all this to the back of my mind and just sort of be on auto pilot about it all. I reminded myself that I don't look sick and I don't feel sick, I can still have a relatively normal life and best of all it's not genetic so Liam has no greater chance of having it than I did. With "the holidays" long gone it's not been as easy to stay busy and a little fear has crept back into my mind. I've started having nightmares about returning to the Cancer Specialists office for treatments but this time it's the treatments I've feared this whole time. I have dreams that Dr T is disappointed that I'm not well, as if I've done something to make this return. I find myself thinking about the strangest details of it all at the strangest times. I realize this is all just the junk in the back of my mind making it's way forward when I have little control, you know because I'm sleeping (or at least trying to).
I'm still working out, about to start training plan for my next half marathon. I'm still doing bodycombat for cross training. I'm still being me and being a wife and mom, still enjoying life. I refuse to let this define me, I'm just sad that it's even still a part of me, I'm sad I have to accept its back in again. I have to adjust to the fact that I have a chronic disease for the rest of my life...again and that is going to take some work. I feel like I'm sort of back at square one, maybe square three or five but back towards the beginning of this whole thing and that is disappointing.
-Jen
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You know the kind, the ones that only surface when you are tired and don't have the energy to keep them at bay or during your dreams when you're not totally in control. The kind that pop into your head suddenly at 3am and keep you awake when you are desperate for sleep. Yeah those kind.
I've been avoiding the fact that I had routine blood work done in November, I wanted to establish care with a standard 'ol internal medicine doctor and have my cholesterol checked for good measure. We discussed my interesting health history (including diagnosis and remission of my ITP) and it was decided to check my platelets for good measure. I was told if everything were fine I'd receive a letter in the mail with a breakdown of my blood work. Instead I received a call. I'm no longer in remission. After just three short months my platelets have gone down by more than 50% and are were below normal, but not at a dangerous level. Right now my internal med dr is ok with monitoring me again in a few months, depending on that result I'll have to find a hematologist (I can no longer be treated by Dr T due to my lovely insurance).
This news was a blow, obviously not as bad as last time but a blow none the less. I told only a couple friends and waited to tell V because his uncle was in the hospital, he had a heart and was still being monitored. I needed V's uncle to be a little better before I could burden V with this news. After a few days uncle was released and Thanksgiving had passed so I brought it up to V, he handles things differently than most people (I think), and often times I have to tell him exactly what I need from him because he follows my lead (if I'm freaked out he freaks out, I'm typically his rock). So in this instance where I was sad and a little freaked out, I needed him to be my rock. Initially he got kinda defensive which hurt. I had to explain to him that I'm not as freaked out as last time and that this will not determine how I live my life but I am sad and I should be allowed that. Once he understood where I was coming from he was supportive again. It was strange this time around, I didn't want to hear all the puppies-and-rainbow business, I just wanted to be sad for a moment. I'm really relating to Christina on Parenthood right now though her diagnosis is clearly much worse than mine.
The holidays were nice, they allowed me to been to push all this to the back of my mind and just sort of be on auto pilot about it all. I reminded myself that I don't look sick and I don't feel sick, I can still have a relatively normal life and best of all it's not genetic so Liam has no greater chance of having it than I did. With "the holidays" long gone it's not been as easy to stay busy and a little fear has crept back into my mind. I've started having nightmares about returning to the Cancer Specialists office for treatments but this time it's the treatments I've feared this whole time. I have dreams that Dr T is disappointed that I'm not well, as if I've done something to make this return. I find myself thinking about the strangest details of it all at the strangest times. I realize this is all just the junk in the back of my mind making it's way forward when I have little control, you know because I'm sleeping (or at least trying to).
I'm still working out, about to start training plan for my next half marathon. I'm still doing bodycombat for cross training. I'm still being me and being a wife and mom, still enjoying life. I refuse to let this define me, I'm just sad that it's even still a part of me, I'm sad I have to accept its back in again. I have to adjust to the fact that I have a chronic disease for the rest of my life...again and that is going to take some work. I feel like I'm sort of back at square one, maybe square three or five but back towards the beginning of this whole thing and that is disappointing.
December 29, 2012
Running in the Cold
If you knew me in real life you would know I'm not a big fan of winter. I don't snowboard, ski etc because I don't like to be cold and don't warm up quickly. Too bad I've spent almost my entire life in the pacific northwest eh?
Anyway I wanted to toot my own horn today. I've been working out at the gym for a few months since the cold weather hit our area, even running a few miles a couple times a week on the treadmill (which is similar to Chinese water torture if you ask me!). This morning Liam slept in and I couldn't pry myself out of bed in time to make it to my bodycombat class that I've been loving so much. The three of us just enjoyed a lovely lazy Saturday morning and before we knew it Liam needed a nap, aka workout time for Momma.
After Liam went down I went back and forth on what to do for my workout, I'd missed all the classes and really only wanted cardio since I can still get strength workouts in later this weekend. I kept checking the weather channel, ugh below 30*. Finally I just got dressed and even posted a facebook status "too bad I'm not hardcore enough to run outside in the cold, off to the gym I go". I went outside to get my car out of the garage...hmmm it's not too bad out here. I got the car our and went back inside to change. V had gotten me a base layer for Christmas and I already had warm pants, gloves and a hat...I'll just go a little ways and see how it feels. I got out there and it was awesome. So awesome! I did my 'ol 4.5 mile loop that I love so much and even made really great time!!
I don't have to start training for a few more weeks, but I'm excited to know that I can still get in a good outside run every now and then!! Yay me!!
And just for fun, here is a pic I found on the web, this was an actual sign along the half marathon route last year!! Too funny!!!
Anyway I wanted to toot my own horn today. I've been working out at the gym for a few months since the cold weather hit our area, even running a few miles a couple times a week on the treadmill (which is similar to Chinese water torture if you ask me!). This morning Liam slept in and I couldn't pry myself out of bed in time to make it to my bodycombat class that I've been loving so much. The three of us just enjoyed a lovely lazy Saturday morning and before we knew it Liam needed a nap, aka workout time for Momma.
After Liam went down I went back and forth on what to do for my workout, I'd missed all the classes and really only wanted cardio since I can still get strength workouts in later this weekend. I kept checking the weather channel, ugh below 30*. Finally I just got dressed and even posted a facebook status "too bad I'm not hardcore enough to run outside in the cold, off to the gym I go". I went outside to get my car out of the garage...hmmm it's not too bad out here. I got the car our and went back inside to change. V had gotten me a base layer for Christmas and I already had warm pants, gloves and a hat...I'll just go a little ways and see how it feels. I got out there and it was awesome. So awesome! I did my 'ol 4.5 mile loop that I love so much and even made really great time!!
I don't have to start training for a few more weeks, but I'm excited to know that I can still get in a good outside run every now and then!! Yay me!!
And just for fun, here is a pic I found on the web, this was an actual sign along the half marathon route last year!! Too funny!!!
December 13, 2012
I Can't _____, But I Can ____
Today I was just sitting at my desk, enjoying a much needed silent little break. I was think about a couple friends who are pregnant and the fact that, yes, I'm jealous. Not big angry/bitter jealous just silent, slightly sad jealous. Then another friend messaged me (I had replied to her status about how she enjoyed her birthday)...she went on to tell me that it had been six years since she enjoyed a birthday because six years two weeks before her birthday she went into premature labor and gave birth to her son at only 16 weeks gestation and he died. For the last six years she hated, dreaded and sometimes couldn't bear her birthday. Understandably so.
I was sitting in the silence of my office just reflecting on that. I obviously can't (and won't try) to explain why God allowed her to go into labor so early and why her son couldn't have lived. I'm not going to say "everything happens for a reason" because I'd punch someone straight in the face who said that to me. Instead I'm choosing to be thankful that she has two beautiful healthy daughters (19 & 8).
I remember so well when V and I were trying for a baby, month after month I hoped and prayed to be pregnant. But I also secretly prayed that I would rather never get pregnant if God planned on taking my baby from me. I feared miscarriage with every inch of my soul (as most mothers do). I am so thankful that I got to have just one pregnancy that resulted in my beautiful, healthy, funny, sweet little boy. Unfortunately I only get that one pregnancy, we won't even try (and are actively preventing) future pregnancies because it's what's safest. I have one wonderful miracle baby and I'm so thankful to have him.
Which brings me to my title. This whole thought process got me thinking, I registered for my 2nd Half Marathon this yesterday (Yikes!)....I can't have more babies BUT I can run races.....and I love running (or as real runners would call it jogging). I'm choosing to be thankful for the blessing of Liam and the blessing of a supportive husband who will go all the way to Portland to watch me run. I have so much to be thankful for....today I feel just crazy blessed. I can't give Liam more biological siblings BUT I can (and hopefully will) foster a child that needs our love desperately and though this Liam can be a big brother. I can't do a lot of things BUT I can be the best mom ever to Liam and any child(ren) that we are blessed with through fostering.
Much Love & Thanks,
Jen
I was sitting in the silence of my office just reflecting on that. I obviously can't (and won't try) to explain why God allowed her to go into labor so early and why her son couldn't have lived. I'm not going to say "everything happens for a reason" because I'd punch someone straight in the face who said that to me. Instead I'm choosing to be thankful that she has two beautiful healthy daughters (19 & 8).
I remember so well when V and I were trying for a baby, month after month I hoped and prayed to be pregnant. But I also secretly prayed that I would rather never get pregnant if God planned on taking my baby from me. I feared miscarriage with every inch of my soul (as most mothers do). I am so thankful that I got to have just one pregnancy that resulted in my beautiful, healthy, funny, sweet little boy. Unfortunately I only get that one pregnancy, we won't even try (and are actively preventing) future pregnancies because it's what's safest. I have one wonderful miracle baby and I'm so thankful to have him.
Which brings me to my title. This whole thought process got me thinking, I registered for my 2nd Half Marathon this yesterday (Yikes!)....I can't have more babies BUT I can run races.....and I love running (or as real runners would call it jogging). I'm choosing to be thankful for the blessing of Liam and the blessing of a supportive husband who will go all the way to Portland to watch me run. I have so much to be thankful for....today I feel just crazy blessed. I can't give Liam more biological siblings BUT I can (and hopefully will) foster a child that needs our love desperately and though this Liam can be a big brother. I can't do a lot of things BUT I can be the best mom ever to Liam and any child(ren) that we are blessed with through fostering.
Much Love & Thanks,
Jen
December 12, 2012
Rock & Roll {Half} Marathon Series 2013
Today (on 12/12/12) you can save yourself $20 off the registration cost of Rock & Roll Series Races. Today I bit the bullet and registered for my 2nd Half Marathon...Portland Rock and Roll Half Marathon. Yikes! Looks like I'm actually doing this!
I actually told V that I wanted my registration fee for the race to be at least part of my Christmas present since I thought it would be over $80 (I paid $66.50 with today's discount). I'm blessed to have his total support and the support of my amazing friends.
I have at most 6 weeks before I start training and cleaning up my eating! I'll post my training plan soon! This will also be part of my 2013 Goal List I'm working on (and also promise to post soon).
Yikes, lots happening soon quickly! I also need to post about the flooring I picked out (I pick out other finishes tomorrow! Lots of posts coming soon, promise!
Much Love,
Jen
I actually told V that I wanted my registration fee for the race to be at least part of my Christmas present since I thought it would be over $80 (I paid $66.50 with today's discount). I'm blessed to have his total support and the support of my amazing friends.
I have at most 6 weeks before I start training and cleaning up my eating! I'll post my training plan soon! This will also be part of my 2013 Goal List I'm working on (and also promise to post soon).
Yikes, lots happening soon quickly! I also need to post about the flooring I picked out (I pick out other finishes tomorrow! Lots of posts coming soon, promise!
Much Love,
Jen
November 5, 2012
V Plays Stay at Home Dadda
Liam was acting off yesterday, we chalked it up to the time change.....but boy was he grumpy! Flash to this morning, Liam woke up crying really hard. This is not normal for him at all, usually he happily wakes and calls out to us (in mumble-y 18 month old chatter). Not today, today was full of loud cries. I hadn't gotten up for the day yet (my alarm was set to go off in another 5 mins at 6:10am), so I told V that I would change Liam's diaper. When I picked poor little Liam up he was physically on fire, I laid him on the changing table and started about stripping off his pjs, changing his diaper and taking his temp...... 102.5, yikes! V didn't miss a beat, he called off work to spend the day with Liam.
I quickly got ready then ran to the store for some juice and bananas (and bagels for V and I). I'm so thankful to have a husband that is willing to stay home with our sick child. I know a lot of men wouldn't even consider staying home and some women who wouldn't let their husband stay home to care for an ill child. I'm glad either of those things are true in my marriage. (Even though V' boss thinks it's totally nuts that V will stay home with Liam he still allows Vic to use sick time to care for Liam.) I called to check on Liam several times, each time V reassured me Liam was getting better and better.
Finally my work day was done, I rushes straight home and Liam was so very excited to see me! V reported that Liam hadn't eatten great but was snacking and his temp had some down a little. We spent a lovely evening of just chilling, eatting a little dinner and relaxing. I gave Liam a second dose of infant IB profrin and now his temp is just slightly over 100 degrees. A few minutes before we would have normally put Liam to bed he picked up a blanket off the floor and walked into his room, he was clearly ready! We did our normal routine of; clean diaper, jammies, sippy of water and sit on my lap while Dadda reads and when we put Liam into his crib he rolled on his side and was out before we turned off the light!
I quickly got ready then ran to the store for some juice and bananas (and bagels for V and I). I'm so thankful to have a husband that is willing to stay home with our sick child. I know a lot of men wouldn't even consider staying home and some women who wouldn't let their husband stay home to care for an ill child. I'm glad either of those things are true in my marriage. (Even though V' boss thinks it's totally nuts that V will stay home with Liam he still allows Vic to use sick time to care for Liam.) I called to check on Liam several times, each time V reassured me Liam was getting better and better.
Finally my work day was done, I rushes straight home and Liam was so very excited to see me! V reported that Liam hadn't eatten great but was snacking and his temp had some down a little. We spent a lovely evening of just chilling, eatting a little dinner and relaxing. I gave Liam a second dose of infant IB profrin and now his temp is just slightly over 100 degrees. A few minutes before we would have normally put Liam to bed he picked up a blanket off the floor and walked into his room, he was clearly ready! We did our normal routine of; clean diaper, jammies, sippy of water and sit on my lap while Dadda reads and when we put Liam into his crib he rolled on his side and was out before we turned off the light!
November 3, 2012
Running for the Health of It
As fall descends on our city opportunities for a run become fewer and fewer. I managed to squeeze a run in on Friday because I had taken a half day of paid time off for some much needed "me" time. It's gotten pretty cool here, most days are cloud covered and below 50 (at best). Friday's run was good, not great but absolutely worth it. I had planned (and paid for) a race on Saturday morning but wasn't entirely sure I'd really do it.
Then Saturday morning rolled around. Liam's been getting up at 6:00 am every-single-day. Normally he gets up at just shy of 7am on weekdays and almost 8am on weekends. To say I was tired was an understatement. We ate and played while the morning ticked away. I himmed and hawed over whether or not I'd do my race. I really wanted to, especially because I'd already paid for it.....at least it was another charitable race so the money hadn't gone to waste if I didn't run. Then V pointed out the obvious; You know you will feel great after and be glad you did (and if you don't you'll be super grumpy later). Point taken, I dressed and laced up at the very last minute. Poor little Liam gets all upset when I start gettting ready, he was {surprisingly} still up when I left, which I hate but I could tell he needed a nap and would be down any minute.
I arrived at the race just in time to get my bib, put my goody bag (which had a cute hat! Yay!) in the car and warm up a little. I couldn't have timed it better! The course was a bit windey which I didn't love but at least they had plenty of volunteers to tell us where to turn. I wondered if I'd think a lot about my Autoimmune Disease while doing the race since the race was for the local Oncology Nurses (the money went to benefit those who can't afford testing and treatment) but I didn't and I'm glad. It was a cool morning, maybe mid-thrities. I don't really even remember hearing my music while I ran, I was trying so hard to keep my pace steady. I had to walk several times (stupid asthma!) but felt like I was able to run longer stretches. Before I knew it I could see the end, once I had a straight path to the finish line I put it in full gear and ran as hard a I could. There were two little girls cheering people on and they thought that was awesome, they started jumping and shouting even louder which encouraged me to really push! There was a photographer right at the finish line, I remember smiling SO big because I realized I'd done my personal best and was able to be under an 11 minute miles. I couldn't have been happier, here I was healthy enough to do this and help others and I'd gotten my personal best!
After confirming my official time I grabbed fancy coffees and bagels for V and I on the way home. At home Liam was fast asleep one hour into his nap (usually between 2-3 hour now). V and I ate and snacked after he took a pic for me. I'm so very glad I did the race, V was right again. I'm so sad that my running season is over, it's just too cold to continue (and I don't want to run in rain and snow). I'm going to miss it so much!
Then Saturday morning rolled around. Liam's been getting up at 6:00 am every-single-day. Normally he gets up at just shy of 7am on weekdays and almost 8am on weekends. To say I was tired was an understatement. We ate and played while the morning ticked away. I himmed and hawed over whether or not I'd do my race. I really wanted to, especially because I'd already paid for it.....at least it was another charitable race so the money hadn't gone to waste if I didn't run. Then V pointed out the obvious; You know you will feel great after and be glad you did (and if you don't you'll be super grumpy later). Point taken, I dressed and laced up at the very last minute. Poor little Liam gets all upset when I start gettting ready, he was {surprisingly} still up when I left, which I hate but I could tell he needed a nap and would be down any minute.
I arrived at the race just in time to get my bib, put my goody bag (which had a cute hat! Yay!) in the car and warm up a little. I couldn't have timed it better! The course was a bit windey which I didn't love but at least they had plenty of volunteers to tell us where to turn. I wondered if I'd think a lot about my Autoimmune Disease while doing the race since the race was for the local Oncology Nurses (the money went to benefit those who can't afford testing and treatment) but I didn't and I'm glad. It was a cool morning, maybe mid-thrities. I don't really even remember hearing my music while I ran, I was trying so hard to keep my pace steady. I had to walk several times (stupid asthma!) but felt like I was able to run longer stretches. Before I knew it I could see the end, once I had a straight path to the finish line I put it in full gear and ran as hard a I could. There were two little girls cheering people on and they thought that was awesome, they started jumping and shouting even louder which encouraged me to really push! There was a photographer right at the finish line, I remember smiling SO big because I realized I'd done my personal best and was able to be under an 11 minute miles. I couldn't have been happier, here I was healthy enough to do this and help others and I'd gotten my personal best!
After confirming my official time I grabbed fancy coffees and bagels for V and I on the way home. At home Liam was fast asleep one hour into his nap (usually between 2-3 hour now). V and I ate and snacked after he took a pic for me. I'm so very glad I did the race, V was right again. I'm so sad that my running season is over, it's just too cold to continue (and I don't want to run in rain and snow). I'm going to miss it so much!
October 12, 2012
Doing Good & Running
I've wanted to get a few more races in this fall before the snow
starts to fly and I'm trapped inside for months on end. I SO was
excited when my bestie wanted to do a local 5k that benefited women who
can't afford breast cancer screenings and treatment. Last weekend we
ran that 5k together and it was awesome! We arrived bright and early, I had hoped to run the 5k with Liam in the stroller but he had started to get a cold and it was only 25 degreed that morning....no race for little Liam. There were 1,100 women almost
all of whom were dressed up, Bestie and I were Batman and Superman
respectively. We had a good time considering she recently had jaw
surgery and currently had a cold (final time 34:15). After the race we took our turn in the photo booth, got some snacks and just hung around. What a lovely Saturday morning!
The next charitable 5k I have planned is in chilly November and it actually put on by the nurses from the Oncology Center I had to visit for my Autoimmune Disease. The proceeds go to different types of cancer treatment etc. It feels good to go running but it feels even better knowing the ~$25 registration fee is going to a good cause.
Now if I could just kick this cold and fit in a good run this weekend (probably not going to happen).
Happy Friday!
Much Love,
Jen
The next charitable 5k I have planned is in chilly November and it actually put on by the nurses from the Oncology Center I had to visit for my Autoimmune Disease. The proceeds go to different types of cancer treatment etc. It feels good to go running but it feels even better knowing the ~$25 registration fee is going to a good cause.
Now if I could just kick this cold and fit in a good run this weekend (probably not going to happen).
Happy Friday!
Much Love,
Jen
September 7, 2012
Sometimes I'm All Puppies and Rainbows
And today is one of those days! I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I've gotten a lot of physical activity in this week. Two days this week the smoke [from nearby forest fires] had cleared out enough for walks and last night V convinced me to go to the gym You always feel so great afterward and always regret it when you don't go.... He was so right. Oh the endorphins, glorious endorphins!
When I'm feeling this good I always try and take inventory Why do I feel sooo good? I guess part of it is to be thankful and perhaps remember these good things when things don't seem so great.
Today's Happy Things Inventory (in no specific order)
-Work is good, I recently had my mid-year review and it was fantastic (dare I say I'm sure I'll get a fantastic raise this year?)
-Liam is amazing, as usual. He's walking, right on the cusp of completely shedding crawling, holy moly!
-I have gotten in four days of physical activity! (Since Monday was a holiday I took a Spin class while Liam napped, walks on Tues & Weds with Liam and a 30 min run last night. GLORIOUS!)
-Our car is officially paid off, very much ahead of schedule!
-I had a pretty interesting situation arise recently, while it didn't work out it has sparked a interest in me that I'm going to go after. Yay for adventures! (More details on this as soon as I get them worked out!)
-V and I are doing pretty good, which is a far cry from a few months ago so I'll take it. Progress is progress.
-I'm wearing a new and adorable dress that makes me feel pretty. This is the dress.
-It's FRIDAY!
I'm sure there is much more but these things alone make my heart over flower today.
Much Love,
Jen
When I'm feeling this good I always try and take inventory Why do I feel sooo good? I guess part of it is to be thankful and perhaps remember these good things when things don't seem so great.
Today's Happy Things Inventory (in no specific order)
-Work is good, I recently had my mid-year review and it was fantastic (dare I say I'm sure I'll get a fantastic raise this year?)
-Liam is amazing, as usual. He's walking, right on the cusp of completely shedding crawling, holy moly!
-I have gotten in four days of physical activity! (Since Monday was a holiday I took a Spin class while Liam napped, walks on Tues & Weds with Liam and a 30 min run last night. GLORIOUS!)
-Our car is officially paid off, very much ahead of schedule!
-I had a pretty interesting situation arise recently, while it didn't work out it has sparked a interest in me that I'm going to go after. Yay for adventures! (More details on this as soon as I get them worked out!)
-V and I are doing pretty good, which is a far cry from a few months ago so I'll take it. Progress is progress.
-I'm wearing a new and adorable dress that makes me feel pretty. This is the dress.
-It's FRIDAY!
I'm sure there is much more but these things alone make my heart over flower today.
Much Love,
Jen
August 11, 2012
Calmness and Peace {Dr. Appt}
Last week I had my first annual exam with my ob/gyn since having Liam....you remember Dr. Wonderful, yes? Dr. Wonderful is an amazing doctor. I know far too many women to dislike, even hate their ob/gyn and it saddens me. The person who brings your child into this world should be wonderful to you, I wish everyone had a doctor like mine.
I sorta looked forward to my check up. Crazy huh? Compared to my visits with Dr. T (Hematologist extraordinaire) an annual is a walk in the park! Plus I'm nearly 15lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight, I've managed to maintain this weight for around 6 months and I'm darn proud of myself for it. Also I love Dr. Wonderful's staff, they are equally as wonderful! I walked in and the receptionist immediately says to me "You cut your hair!" I was shocked that she even remembered me let alone my hairstyle after a year. Love.
After confirming all my info and signing in I sat with my kindle fire hoping to read a bit of my newest book (Wild by Cheryl Strayed) before being called back. Two clearly pregnant women were called back and shortly after so was I by my favorite nurse. Happiness. Nurse D and I caught up while I was weighed and had my blood pressure taken, she told me to strip down to nothing but the cape she pulled out and Dr. Wonderful would be right in. I picked up my kindle after stripping down hoping Dr. Wonderful would have to do a few ultrasounds and I'd get a few pages in. No such luck one page in and knock-knock.
Perhaps I have a strange bond with Dr. Wonderful but I was glad to see him. He's older than both V and I, at least old enough to be either of our parents, maybe mid-50s? He's easy to chat with but gets right down to business. Boob exam, ugh I hate them but they are a necessary evil. I brought up my ITP diagnoses and Dr. Wonderful delicately said "Hmm do you have future pregnancies planned?" I twisted my mouth a little and said "no..." He seemed ok with that answer. I couldn't help myself "I can't help but notice you didn't argue with me on no more babies, it's for the best isn't it?" Dr. Wonderful "Well. It's a bigger decision for you to possibly expand your family. But it's a tough decision to be taken from you. You could have more children, we could treat you and manage your ITP but it means more steroids. I have some articles for you, I'd like you to be educated before you make a final decision. I like that you are on Mirena, it's a good birth control for you as it prevents periods since you risk heavy bleeding." The rest of our conversation was about my half marathon and how proud of my Dr. Wonderful is. He kept saying "You look great! Your working out, your organized, you're WEIRD!" I just laughed.
After my exam I dressed and met Dr. Wonderful to get the article he mention and a rx for an inhailer for my asthma. He again congratulated me on doing so well, told me I looked great and said "Well, see ya next year!"
After I left I could have returned to work for an hour but decided to take that time for myself, well kinda, I wanted to get some stuff cut up for dinner and change into comfy non-work clothes. I wondered around my silent home picking up things and thinking about my appointment. I had this wonderful sense of calm and peace. I was thinking to myself while cutting up ingredients for dinner "If I could have one thing, anything, what would it be? More time. More time with Liam and V, with my friends and loved ones. If I do get pregnant and my ITP goes haywire I truly could die and I would not get more time with anyone. I would make a choice that would screw up the one thing I want most; more time with those I am already blessed to have. Yeah, no more babies is the right choice for us. Hopefully one day it won't sting as much but it's the right thing." There were no tears which is rare. In my hearts of hearts I want another child...a sibling for Liam, but more important than that is cherishing what I already have. I put all the prepped ingredients in a bowl and headed off to pick up my sweet Liam. I hugged him extra close and thanked God for him with tears in my eyes. I am beyond blessed just to have him and get to be here to be his mom.
In about a week I have my next appointment with Dr. T (Hematologist extraordinaire), I'm anticipating treatment since I believe my platelet numbers have held the same pattern they have since being diagnosed last September. Right now I feel good about it, I feel like I know what to expect and I have a lot of pride about accomplishing my first half marathon.
Much Love,
-Jen
I sorta looked forward to my check up. Crazy huh? Compared to my visits with Dr. T (Hematologist extraordinaire) an annual is a walk in the park! Plus I'm nearly 15lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight, I've managed to maintain this weight for around 6 months and I'm darn proud of myself for it. Also I love Dr. Wonderful's staff, they are equally as wonderful! I walked in and the receptionist immediately says to me "You cut your hair!" I was shocked that she even remembered me let alone my hairstyle after a year. Love.
After confirming all my info and signing in I sat with my kindle fire hoping to read a bit of my newest book (Wild by Cheryl Strayed) before being called back. Two clearly pregnant women were called back and shortly after so was I by my favorite nurse. Happiness. Nurse D and I caught up while I was weighed and had my blood pressure taken, she told me to strip down to nothing but the cape she pulled out and Dr. Wonderful would be right in. I picked up my kindle after stripping down hoping Dr. Wonderful would have to do a few ultrasounds and I'd get a few pages in. No such luck one page in and knock-knock.
Perhaps I have a strange bond with Dr. Wonderful but I was glad to see him. He's older than both V and I, at least old enough to be either of our parents, maybe mid-50s? He's easy to chat with but gets right down to business. Boob exam, ugh I hate them but they are a necessary evil. I brought up my ITP diagnoses and Dr. Wonderful delicately said "Hmm do you have future pregnancies planned?" I twisted my mouth a little and said "no..." He seemed ok with that answer. I couldn't help myself "I can't help but notice you didn't argue with me on no more babies, it's for the best isn't it?" Dr. Wonderful "Well. It's a bigger decision for you to possibly expand your family. But it's a tough decision to be taken from you. You could have more children, we could treat you and manage your ITP but it means more steroids. I have some articles for you, I'd like you to be educated before you make a final decision. I like that you are on Mirena, it's a good birth control for you as it prevents periods since you risk heavy bleeding." The rest of our conversation was about my half marathon and how proud of my Dr. Wonderful is. He kept saying "You look great! Your working out, your organized, you're WEIRD!" I just laughed.
After my exam I dressed and met Dr. Wonderful to get the article he mention and a rx for an inhailer for my asthma. He again congratulated me on doing so well, told me I looked great and said "Well, see ya next year!"
After I left I could have returned to work for an hour but decided to take that time for myself, well kinda, I wanted to get some stuff cut up for dinner and change into comfy non-work clothes. I wondered around my silent home picking up things and thinking about my appointment. I had this wonderful sense of calm and peace. I was thinking to myself while cutting up ingredients for dinner "If I could have one thing, anything, what would it be? More time. More time with Liam and V, with my friends and loved ones. If I do get pregnant and my ITP goes haywire I truly could die and I would not get more time with anyone. I would make a choice that would screw up the one thing I want most; more time with those I am already blessed to have. Yeah, no more babies is the right choice for us. Hopefully one day it won't sting as much but it's the right thing." There were no tears which is rare. In my hearts of hearts I want another child...a sibling for Liam, but more important than that is cherishing what I already have. I put all the prepped ingredients in a bowl and headed off to pick up my sweet Liam. I hugged him extra close and thanked God for him with tears in my eyes. I am beyond blessed just to have him and get to be here to be his mom.
In about a week I have my next appointment with Dr. T (Hematologist extraordinaire), I'm anticipating treatment since I believe my platelet numbers have held the same pattern they have since being diagnosed last September. Right now I feel good about it, I feel like I know what to expect and I have a lot of pride about accomplishing my first half marathon.
Much Love,
-Jen
July 9, 2012
The Day After {My First Half Marathon}
Today has been slightly surreal. It's hard to believe that yesterday really did happen. When my alarm went off at 6am I was completely confused and really wanted another hour of sleep! Putting my feet to the floor was slightly painful and I was a bit stiff but I didn't have time to be stiff-life was calling! I showered and got ready for work before Liam was awake (typical day), not gonna lie I was hobbling around! I specifically chose to wear a dress to work and dressy sandals so I didn't have to deal with pants and heals. After Liam was up we all ate breakfast and before we knew it the time had come to head out.
The work day was long and short all at once. My boss and co-worker also did the half marathon (my boss did her first half marathon last year and my co-worker did her first full last year). For every one minute of work we did we talked about the race for eight minutes, it was really funny! My boss commented several times that we were all still on a runner's high! I could tell my body wasn't handling sitting at a desk all day well; it craved a walk, some stretching, salad and sunshine. No dice. Thankfully we all did go to lunch and enjoyed some Mexican food which also meant a short walk in the sun.
Finally quitting time rolled around, I thought for sure I could at least get Liam out for a quick walk right when I got us home. No dice again, it starting to thunder before we even got around the block. After feeding all of us, Liam needed a bath and suddenly it was 7pm and Liam was exhausted so we put him to bed. Freedom! V totally understood and set me free! I went to Target and just wondered around. I emerged to cooler temps (it had been upper 90's earlier in the day). I returned home and walked around our neighborhood, it felt so good to just walk! After a while I was missing my hubby so I went home and snuggled until bed time (well, I blogged just before heading to bed, wink-wink).
The funny thing is I sorta feel like I did last summer, right after having Liam. My priority (second to taking care of my family) is listening to my body, I'm eating what I feel called to eat and, when possible, just doing what will help it heal. I feel great now, I'm super happy and proud of this accomplishment....and just might be already planning my next (much shorter) run/race. Hehe!!
Nighty-Night!
Jen
July 8, 2012
My First Half Marathon
Bucket List Item Accomplished!
I slept surprisingly well the night before, I had gone to bed around 8:30p and would say I was out by 9:15p. I woke up a few times during the night but nothing that I couldn't go right back to sleep, I got up right before my alarm would have gone off at 4am sharp. I had everything I needed in the living room as to let V rest. I must admit I enjoyed the silence and my own wondering thoughts. It was the first time I really started to think about crossing the finish line. After I as all dressed I stood in the bathroom and just looked at my reflection for a moment; WOW, I really did it, I'm really here and I'm about to do this! There was no fear just a general "wow" feeling. I ate some scrambled eggs and a tiny cup of coffee and before I knew it I had to head out.
I drove under the cover of night through our city to downtown (just blocks from our home), parked my car and scurried over to the bus line. Luckily I ran into a friend! We both shared nervous chatter in line and on the bus ride. Our city was still in slumber when we arrived at the stating area. We still had a good 40 mins so we stretched, warmed up a little and took potty breaks. They lit off fireworks every 15 minutes as a countdown to start time, the sun wasn't up yet and it was a fitting celebration. My friend and I parted ways as we both had different race styles.
Then at 6am sharp BOOM! With a cannon shot the race began! I was near the front but slower so I made sure to move to the side so others could pass. I jogged for a few miles then decided to conseve energy and start my walk/jog pattern (not timed just according to my body's direction). We started in a less populated area, the river was so pretty! Even at that early hour people had come out of their homes to cheer us on! My mother-in-law surprised me throughout the race three times! I knew she planned the first one, the second time had me super teary (I had to pull it together quickly as to not trigger my asthma), the third time she had V and Liam! I felt so very loved!
The first 8 or so miles of the race didn't seem that difficult, other than the fact that the race organizers didn't have as many gels as I assumed from the race material. Until 9 I was running on mostly Gatorade! Yikes! Finally around mile 10 I was able to get a gel pack and an orange! It was exactly what I needed to finish the race! Also around this time my co-worker found me! She had some difficultly getting her training runs in so I was happy to see that she had indeed decided to do the race!
Along the race I texted V, my bestie E and another friend where I was and when I expected to be done. The last three miles were hard and I had to walk a lot. In the back of my mind I really hoped to finish in less than 3 hours (I knew I could do this if I kept my average of a 12 min/mile). I promised myself I'd be happy as long as I finished the race! The people cheering us at the end were extra nice and supportive You are doing great! Keep going! You are ALMOST there!! They called out! Many of them throughout the race had sprinklers out in the street for us to run through, this was especially helpful now! I couldn't have cared less if I ruined my ipod and phone as long as I got to cool off for a minute!
Around mile 12 the first full marathoner lapped me! He would be the winner doing 26.2 miles in 2:32! Dang! I rounded the last corner determined to run/jog to the finish line! Then out of the corner of my eye was my bestie! She had a prime spot and would take the pics I've posted below! She kept cheering me as I slowly inched toward the finish line (I really needed her support right then!!)
I remember hearing a stranger say Smile they are taking pictures! But I was spent, my exhausted look was all I could give....until....the finish line, in all it's glory there it was!!! We all had these chips on our shoes to give us official times, they also provided the announcer our names so as we crossed they would call them out, not gonna lie it was one of the most awesome moments of my life! A metal was placed around my neck by a stranger that I really wanted to hug! But...I hadn't seem my mother-in-law, V or Liam....had I missed them? I wondered. I had just seen them 4 miles ago. Then to my left there they were! I started to ball because, well, that is who I am...it's a knee jerk reaction. Liam was completely confused. I was still in the "runners only" area so I told them I'd see them shortly. I should also mention this is where I started to go into my own little world. It was like my body was on auto pilot and high at the same time! Thankfully you are forced to go through a area where you can get beverages and food if you choose. I choose water and some fruit. My co-worker found me again and we kinda half spacey chatted (I have no idea what we talked about!)
Then I passed back into the real world and out of the "runners only" area. V, Liam, mother-in-law and bestie were all waiting to congratulate me! I also have no recollection of what we spoke about. I remember some pictures being taken and holding Liam though my body didn't feel strong enough to. We went down to the runners after gig and my body was quickly coming back to reality, time to get home!
At home I quickly showered, I've never felt so gross in my lifetime! While Liam napped I ran out and got the food my heart desired, came home and ate with V. It's almost 8pm now and I still haven't napped. I'm begining to feel the wear of the day and after this I plan on hitting the hay. It's back to the real world tomorrow, it seems so unfair to have such a life changing day today and have to work tomorrow!
This will surely be just the first of many half marathons for me! Currently I don't plan to do a full marathon but I guess you never know!
Much Love
-Jen
I slept surprisingly well the night before, I had gone to bed around 8:30p and would say I was out by 9:15p. I woke up a few times during the night but nothing that I couldn't go right back to sleep, I got up right before my alarm would have gone off at 4am sharp. I had everything I needed in the living room as to let V rest. I must admit I enjoyed the silence and my own wondering thoughts. It was the first time I really started to think about crossing the finish line. After I as all dressed I stood in the bathroom and just looked at my reflection for a moment; WOW, I really did it, I'm really here and I'm about to do this! There was no fear just a general "wow" feeling. I ate some scrambled eggs and a tiny cup of coffee and before I knew it I had to head out.
I drove under the cover of night through our city to downtown (just blocks from our home), parked my car and scurried over to the bus line. Luckily I ran into a friend! We both shared nervous chatter in line and on the bus ride. Our city was still in slumber when we arrived at the stating area. We still had a good 40 mins so we stretched, warmed up a little and took potty breaks. They lit off fireworks every 15 minutes as a countdown to start time, the sun wasn't up yet and it was a fitting celebration. My friend and I parted ways as we both had different race styles.
Then at 6am sharp BOOM! With a cannon shot the race began! I was near the front but slower so I made sure to move to the side so others could pass. I jogged for a few miles then decided to conseve energy and start my walk/jog pattern (not timed just according to my body's direction). We started in a less populated area, the river was so pretty! Even at that early hour people had come out of their homes to cheer us on! My mother-in-law surprised me throughout the race three times! I knew she planned the first one, the second time had me super teary (I had to pull it together quickly as to not trigger my asthma), the third time she had V and Liam! I felt so very loved!
The first 8 or so miles of the race didn't seem that difficult, other than the fact that the race organizers didn't have as many gels as I assumed from the race material. Until 9 I was running on mostly Gatorade! Yikes! Finally around mile 10 I was able to get a gel pack and an orange! It was exactly what I needed to finish the race! Also around this time my co-worker found me! She had some difficultly getting her training runs in so I was happy to see that she had indeed decided to do the race!
Along the race I texted V, my bestie E and another friend where I was and when I expected to be done. The last three miles were hard and I had to walk a lot. In the back of my mind I really hoped to finish in less than 3 hours (I knew I could do this if I kept my average of a 12 min/mile). I promised myself I'd be happy as long as I finished the race! The people cheering us at the end were extra nice and supportive You are doing great! Keep going! You are ALMOST there!! They called out! Many of them throughout the race had sprinklers out in the street for us to run through, this was especially helpful now! I couldn't have cared less if I ruined my ipod and phone as long as I got to cool off for a minute!
Around mile 12 the first full marathoner lapped me! He would be the winner doing 26.2 miles in 2:32! Dang! I rounded the last corner determined to run/jog to the finish line! Then out of the corner of my eye was my bestie! She had a prime spot and would take the pics I've posted below! She kept cheering me as I slowly inched toward the finish line (I really needed her support right then!!)
I remember hearing a stranger say Smile they are taking pictures! But I was spent, my exhausted look was all I could give....until....the finish line, in all it's glory there it was!!! We all had these chips on our shoes to give us official times, they also provided the announcer our names so as we crossed they would call them out, not gonna lie it was one of the most awesome moments of my life! A metal was placed around my neck by a stranger that I really wanted to hug! But...I hadn't seem my mother-in-law, V or Liam....had I missed them? I wondered. I had just seen them 4 miles ago. Then to my left there they were! I started to ball because, well, that is who I am...it's a knee jerk reaction. Liam was completely confused. I was still in the "runners only" area so I told them I'd see them shortly. I should also mention this is where I started to go into my own little world. It was like my body was on auto pilot and high at the same time! Thankfully you are forced to go through a area where you can get beverages and food if you choose. I choose water and some fruit. My co-worker found me again and we kinda half spacey chatted (I have no idea what we talked about!)
At home I quickly showered, I've never felt so gross in my lifetime! While Liam napped I ran out and got the food my heart desired, came home and ate with V. It's almost 8pm now and I still haven't napped. I'm begining to feel the wear of the day and after this I plan on hitting the hay. It's back to the real world tomorrow, it seems so unfair to have such a life changing day today and have to work tomorrow!
This will surely be just the first of many half marathons for me! Currently I don't plan to do a full marathon but I guess you never know!
Much Love
-Jen
June 29, 2012
Feeding a Tiny Person
When we first starting giving Liam solids around 5 months I remember thinking this isn't so bad! Until we ran through all the basic purees. Then it was like hmmmm....what else can I make him? (I made ~90% of Liam's food, it was easy even for this working momma!). As Liam grew I'd try to change it up with the ultimate goal being...I didn't want to raise a picky eater! I tried hard to expose him to a wide variety of foods, still do! Overall I think I did a good job, he eats just about anything and has even grown to like carrots (once his arch enemy).
Now that Liam is One Year Old! (How did that happen?) I feel like he's in this brand new place, he can eat a vast majority of things we eat! It's wonderful, most of the time. We just introduced Whole Cow's Milk and in true Liam fashion he likes it. We are in the process of eliminating bottles as well, almost there!
Here's the thing. I sorta liked it a bit more when Liam was around 8-9 months, when there were still things I felt he wasn't ready for so I was making him a meal and making us a different one. It really wasn't all that bad, most of the time I had things I could throw together quickly for him that were healthy. Liam loves to eat right when we get home, right when we get him...5pm sharp. (V doesn't get home until about 6pm). Sometimes when I felt lazy I'd make Liam his healthy little dinner and skimp on V and I (or we'd have something super easy like cereal). Now that Liam is big enough to eat most things we eat so it's silly, and way too much work, to make two dinners....but I don't always feel like eating a healthy dinner! Most of the time yes, not always though. But my Momma brain doesn't really want Liam eating these less healthy items.
In the grand scheme of things I realize one less healthy dinner is not the end of the world but my stance is this: He has his whole lifetime to eat whatever he wants, I'm responsible for giving him a healthy foundation. I guess I just need to be more prepared and plan out our dinners a week at a time, that's going to take some motivation!
These are the things that I think far too much about! Someone tell me I'm not the only one who thinks (or once thought) way too much about this!
Much Love
-Jen
Now that Liam is One Year Old! (How did that happen?) I feel like he's in this brand new place, he can eat a vast majority of things we eat! It's wonderful, most of the time. We just introduced Whole Cow's Milk and in true Liam fashion he likes it. We are in the process of eliminating bottles as well, almost there!
Here's the thing. I sorta liked it a bit more when Liam was around 8-9 months, when there were still things I felt he wasn't ready for so I was making him a meal and making us a different one. It really wasn't all that bad, most of the time I had things I could throw together quickly for him that were healthy. Liam loves to eat right when we get home, right when we get him...5pm sharp. (V doesn't get home until about 6pm). Sometimes when I felt lazy I'd make Liam his healthy little dinner and skimp on V and I (or we'd have something super easy like cereal). Now that Liam is big enough to eat most things we eat so it's silly, and way too much work, to make two dinners....but I don't always feel like eating a healthy dinner! Most of the time yes, not always though. But my Momma brain doesn't really want Liam eating these less healthy items.
In the grand scheme of things I realize one less healthy dinner is not the end of the world but my stance is this: He has his whole lifetime to eat whatever he wants, I'm responsible for giving him a healthy foundation. I guess I just need to be more prepared and plan out our dinners a week at a time, that's going to take some motivation!
These are the things that I think far too much about! Someone tell me I'm not the only one who thinks (or once thought) way too much about this!
Much Love
-Jen
June 1, 2012
My {Running} Addiction
Finding the time to run is a challenge but it's always worth it once I'm out there doing it. Last night was the perfect example of this. V made dinner after he got home around 5:45p, we all ate and before we knew it Liam's bedtime had arrived. I changed into my running clothes, got Liam ready for bed, V gave him the last bottle of the evening and I read to him. Soon V was placing our little blessing in his bed and I was headed out the door. I always stop to tell V exactly where I am going and how long it should take, it's just something I have to do.
7:30ish I was out the door and on the pavement. One earphone playing my favorite songs and the rhythm of my pace carried me away. There are a few things I must be worried about because they kept bouncing through my mind, each time I'd push them away and just enjoy the moment. Not to mention I had to pay attention to traffic on my way to the trail. It was a comfortable 65 degrees, I was working hard enough that I needed to take off my top layer shirt, the cooler air felt so good as I went along the winding river path. There is what some call a "running community" here, and now that I consider myself a runner I understand why! It is beautiful place to run, running here has given me a new understanding and love of this city. I wish I could eloquently describe how running clears my mind but my words are too simple, the peace and silence is such a blessing! I almost always feel like I have a fresh perspective and the energy to take on the world after a run.
I logged four miles last night, had you told me six months ago that I would be doing this I would have laughed at you. Doing a marathon has always been on my bucket list but I guess I never really thought it was achievable considering I've had asthma for 20 years. I don't even recall why exactly I took up running this spring but I did and the more I did it the more I thought I really could do the half marathon this summer! Now it's a true joy and passion in my life. I'm deeply concerned about running in the fall and winter, running on a treadmill just isn't the same...in fact it's mind numbing comparatively. Before I knew it 50 minutes had passed, I was back at my front door dripping sweat, feeling so relaxed and ready for a snack and shower. I always get the best rest the night after a good run!
Two of my co-workers run with their children, age 17 and 11, I genuinely hope that one day running is a hobby that Liam and I can enjoy together. Perhaps that should be on my bucket list (although if running isn't his thing that is ok).
Much Love
-Jen
(*written 5/31, I didn't have time to post it)
7:30ish I was out the door and on the pavement. One earphone playing my favorite songs and the rhythm of my pace carried me away. There are a few things I must be worried about because they kept bouncing through my mind, each time I'd push them away and just enjoy the moment. Not to mention I had to pay attention to traffic on my way to the trail. It was a comfortable 65 degrees, I was working hard enough that I needed to take off my top layer shirt, the cooler air felt so good as I went along the winding river path. There is what some call a "running community" here, and now that I consider myself a runner I understand why! It is beautiful place to run, running here has given me a new understanding and love of this city. I wish I could eloquently describe how running clears my mind but my words are too simple, the peace and silence is such a blessing! I almost always feel like I have a fresh perspective and the energy to take on the world after a run.
I logged four miles last night, had you told me six months ago that I would be doing this I would have laughed at you. Doing a marathon has always been on my bucket list but I guess I never really thought it was achievable considering I've had asthma for 20 years. I don't even recall why exactly I took up running this spring but I did and the more I did it the more I thought I really could do the half marathon this summer! Now it's a true joy and passion in my life. I'm deeply concerned about running in the fall and winter, running on a treadmill just isn't the same...in fact it's mind numbing comparatively. Before I knew it 50 minutes had passed, I was back at my front door dripping sweat, feeling so relaxed and ready for a snack and shower. I always get the best rest the night after a good run!
Two of my co-workers run with their children, age 17 and 11, I genuinely hope that one day running is a hobby that Liam and I can enjoy together. Perhaps that should be on my bucket list (although if running isn't his thing that is ok).
Much Love
-Jen
(*written 5/31, I didn't have time to post it)
May 24, 2012
Running Stuff I Love
Every once in a while I ramble about stuff I'm loving, it's just a nice way to do a fluffy post. This afternoon one of my female co-workers and I went on a run over our lunch and I got to thinking about the running item I've invested in and thus invested in my health.
Without further ado; Running Stuff I Love (in no particular order)
What exercise items do you love?
Much Love,
Jen
Without further ado; Running Stuff I Love (in no particular order)
- New Balance Watch & Heart Rate Monitor! The hubby got this for me last Christmas (upon my request) and I love it. If you click the link it leads you to amazon where it's cheaper than we purchased at Target, still worth the investment. You can track your heart rate, calories burned and it's helped me track my time. I thought the band would be uncomfortable but I don't even notice it.
- Nathan Sprint Handheld Bottle Carrier! Or as I call it; a water bottle. You can't carry much in this but it has adjustable Velcro so it doesn't feel like you are carrying anything. Worth every penny!
- Life is Good Hat! Mine is actually a different style and super old but I find a hat necessary. This one sure is pretty and the brand is great quality.
- Danskin Running Capris. To be honest I bought these out of necessity. If you run enough cotton will wear out in areas it rubs, take a moment to think about that. I wouldn't normally chose these pants because they showcase everything (every-little-thing) but they are light and comfortable. Also they are half the price of this link at wally world.
- I Pod Shuffle. Need I say more? Mine is really old and sadly on it's last leg but I keep bringing 'er back to life. We've logged so many miles together!
- Sports Bra. More specifically a padded one, the boobies will never be the same after my pregnancy/nursing. It's half vanity.
- Myfitnesspal.com (no image above). This helped me loose the extra baby weight, I'm now officially ~15 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight, and I have been for months. I'm super proud of myself for getting it off and keeping it off. I'm pretty much in the best shape of my life.
What exercise items do you love?
Much Love,
Jen
May 16, 2012
On Running/Marathon Training
 necklace here (etsy) |
My body is changing as a result of my new hobby too! My legs a tone and my tummy is much less jiggly that last summer (thank God!). I can feel my lungs getting stronger and see obvious growth in my endurance with each run. Not to mention the clarity it brings me, during my runs I set my mind free to run where ever she pleases.....sometimes that is no where at all, there is a rare silence about my mind which is a breath of fresh air. During my runs I feel much more like Jen and less like Bosslady's assistant/V's wife/Liam's mom...which is not to say that these titles aren't important but it's nice to just be Jen for a bit.
Last week I officially registered for my first [half] marathon, not cheap at $60 but well worth it to me! I get a little sweaty and nervous when I think about doing 13.1 miles all at once but then I get crazy excited.....I'm on my way to checking it off my bucket list!
Much Love,
Jen
May 7, 2012
Would You Parent Differently?
I've heard this question asked of older generations, the whole "in retrospect" concept but that isn't exactly what I'm talking about here (although I gladly invite any advice etc).
What I'm focused on is this; If you knew the baby in your arms would be your only, would you parent him/her differently? As the reality that Liam will be our only child finds rest in my soul I think about this question/topic often. Knowing he'll be my only child and these days are fleeting I am so much more willing to snuggle him extra at bedtime, play longer in the tub etc. I'm beyond grateful that I got to have one amazing baby, he defines Miracle Baby.
Some days are easier than others, I feel like this decision was taken from me due to my autoimmune disease but it's the smart thing to do, it's my reality and there isn't much that will change it. I'm not saying I'm a better parent but I do think this perspective makes me more patient with Liam, I lavish my love on him even when I'm tired and would love some time to myself, I look closely at him with an intentional smile trying to soak up every single moment and store it in my soul. I intentionally seek extra time with him, I schedule anything I can when he's napping (on the weekends) or asleep for the night (during the week). Daily I promise him that no matter what I will be there for him, I will love him and support him.
It's a hard thing to know; that regardless of whether or not you could have more children...you shouldn't. (I started to go into the details of why we have chosen to not have more children and it got a bit too emotional for me. The facts are I have one amazing miracle baby that means the world to me, I have more than I could ever ask for and I am grateful.)
Much Love,
Jen
Edit to include: I kinda lost my train of thought last night....So what I was getting at is, if you knew that baby/child in your arms would be your one and only, do you think you would do anything differently? I'd love to hear feedback!
What I'm focused on is this; If you knew the baby in your arms would be your only, would you parent him/her differently? As the reality that Liam will be our only child finds rest in my soul I think about this question/topic often. Knowing he'll be my only child and these days are fleeting I am so much more willing to snuggle him extra at bedtime, play longer in the tub etc. I'm beyond grateful that I got to have one amazing baby, he defines Miracle Baby.
Some days are easier than others, I feel like this decision was taken from me due to my autoimmune disease but it's the smart thing to do, it's my reality and there isn't much that will change it. I'm not saying I'm a better parent but I do think this perspective makes me more patient with Liam, I lavish my love on him even when I'm tired and would love some time to myself, I look closely at him with an intentional smile trying to soak up every single moment and store it in my soul. I intentionally seek extra time with him, I schedule anything I can when he's napping (on the weekends) or asleep for the night (during the week). Daily I promise him that no matter what I will be there for him, I will love him and support him.
It's a hard thing to know; that regardless of whether or not you could have more children...you shouldn't. (I started to go into the details of why we have chosen to not have more children and it got a bit too emotional for me. The facts are I have one amazing miracle baby that means the world to me, I have more than I could ever ask for and I am grateful.)
Much Love,
Jen
Edit to include: I kinda lost my train of thought last night....So what I was getting at is, if you knew that baby/child in your arms would be your one and only, do you think you would do anything differently? I'd love to hear feedback!
April 24, 2012
On My Auto Immune Disease...An Update
Yesterday I had another appointment with Dr. T. Or so I thought... I arrived at the lab a few minutes early for my blood work, there was no order, I walked over to Dr. T's office to get one only to learn my appointment was mysteriously canceled. I sat around while a couple woman ran around trying to figure it out, we all know by now I get anxious about my appointments...this didn't help but in similar situations I always tell myself "we are all just humans, mistakes happen, as long as it can be resolved then no harm no foul." Orders in hand I headed to the lab to wait an hour. Thankfully I managed to be-friend one of the receptionists, she noticed I'd been waiting forever (45 minutes) and went back to tell them I am a oncology patient and need my blood work done now so I could make my appointment. While I do not have cancer I am seen in the oncology department so I was ok with this and it meant I got in and out. Back over to Dr. T's waiting room I went. While I was waiting the practice administrator came out to introduce herself to me, she was so helpful while I was battling insurance, it was so sweet that she wanted to meet me and congratulate me on winning! It was just another few minutes before I was on my way back to an exam room. As usual I was weighed, I've managed to maintain my weight for the last 4 months, I'm currently 14lbs below my per-pregnancy weight! Thank you My Fitness Pal! (it's free, sign up, message me and we can buddy up!)
I know I say it all too often but I'm really going to work on looking at the big picture and stop worrying about the little stuff. I can't plan and control everything, or really much at all. At the end of the day I still have a pretty great life, sure a few things could be different and better but over all I'm pretty darn blessed.
Other related posts:
My Diagnosis with ITP
What is ITP?
Much Love,
Jen
Before I knew it Dr T came in. I'm so thankful I get to stay
in his care, even though my appointment was mysteriously canceled he took his time to
talk to me about different things...like the fact that about 50% of the time
when ITP is discovered and there is another associated disease existing and my
fears. I was so freakishly nervous. Since 6 months have passed Dr T. is no
longer concerned about associated diseases, he thinks I just have a idiopathic
chronic case of ITP that will be intermittent for the rest of my life. This is
good news, the other associated diseases are scary....so scary (message me if you have specific questions, I'd be happy to discuss those). He even said "I
don't want to cause you to worry more by telling you this"... I reassured him I
prefer the education....I'll worry anyway. He also said I really shouldn't
worry about having more children, that if I do get pregnant and my ITP worsens
during my pregnancy I can do the IV treatments (this is an 8 hour treatment, in
the hospital! Yikes!). I would be unable to do steroids while pregnant. I'm
still petrified of having another child. He reassured me that he doesn't think
I will ever have normal platelet numbers but I don't need them to be normal to be ok
(normal is over 150k), as long as I can stay around or above 80k I can live a normal
life full of the activities I love. My numbers weren't available so I headed
back to work (two hours late) and he said he'd call me.
I went to a movie with my dearest friend E. at 7pm thinking I wouldn't hear from Dr T
until the next day. Nope, I missed his call twice around 8pm. He called me
again at 9pm and again took time to talk to me. He mentioned that I was more
nervous than ever before. He again took time to talk to me about how "this is
not a death sentence, it's just annoying....you are doing very well and I expect your
recurrences to be spread out over years not months". My platelet numbers have continued to lower about
20% to 90k. He reminded me of what to watch for and reminded me I don't need an
appointment to have my blood checked, to just call him and I could go over on my lunch
and be checked, he would call me. I'm just so thankful for him, he gets
me....he doesn't just brush off that "I over think this whole thing" (my
words). I have another appointment in August. (Side note, I'm no longer anemic! Yay! I still have to stay on Iron for 3 month but that is fine.)
So it is good news, I'll probably need treatment again in the fall. It
will probably be steroids...while the side effects are rough...I prefer them
because the thought of the IV treatment terrifies me (did I mention they are
$10k a pop?).
Other related posts:
My Diagnosis with ITP
What is ITP?
Much Love,
Jen
March 30, 2012
My Fitness Blog
Hey Peeps,
I posted anther tid-bit on my Health/Fitness Blog: Wildflower Fitness....hop on over there to check it out, please.
Much Love,
Jen
I posted anther tid-bit on my Health/Fitness Blog: Wildflower Fitness....hop on over there to check it out, please.
Much Love,
Jen
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