I have no idea how to title this post.....

{For updated posts on my Autoimmune Disease scroll to the bottom of this post, links are there.}

Earlier this week a co-worker commented on some bruises I had on my arm (outside between my elbow and wrist); I had noticed them but didn't think they were anything to worry about, however they were just getting darker and darker, come to think of it I had a lot of unexplainable bruises...actually I had written them off because I was nursing Liam.  (Little did I know she may have saved my life.) I was going to call my doctor's office anyway about something else so I mentioned it. They thought it was probably nothing (as did I) but called in a routine blood panel anyway.  I decided to put it off until the next day, it would be easier to do a blood draw before work.


I went in for that test at 8am today, at 11am I was called by the nurse practitioner she said my blood platelets "were significantly low" and she wanted me to see and internal medicine specialist, she called me back less than an hour later and told me that the internal medicine specialist wanted me to see a blood specialist (hematologist) in the oncology department of one of our local hospitals and my appointment was at 3:30pm today, this was mandatory I was "not to wait even until tomorrow" in her words. As you can imagine I was pretty damn scared. I called my boss balling to fill her in and left work immediately to go hold Liam, is was the only thing I wanted to do. I called V to let him know what was going on, he was home on lunch (by this time it was almost 1pm) so he went into work to leave for the rest of the day. I raced to my in-laws house, gave them the jest of the situation and spent about two hours just holding and loving on Liam and I honestly questioned my mortality... I was so afraid I had cancer....little did I know so did the doctors, they were convinced I had Leukemia.

At 3:30pm walked hand-in-hand with V to the oncology department and filled out a ton of paperwork and answered a million and one questions and had an exam with Dr T. He explained everything twice, once with HUGE words and once with words you and I understand. Very long story short it appears I have an autoimmune disease called: Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura (I.T.P.) where my body attacks my blood platelets (which are responsible for clotting). The normal person has a couple thousand (google searches say ~150,000) platelets...my count this morning was ten. Over the next few weeks I'll have more blood work done and several more appointments but Dr T believes that this disease should be manageable with a rx but I'll have to be carefully monitored for a while and extremely careful not to get even a simple cold, flu or a simple injury because the medicine I'll be on will suppress my immune system and I could get seriously ill very quickly.  I have more blood tests on Monday to rule out a couple other things and test to see if the rx I was given is helping, within a few weeks we should have a fair idea if this is something I'll have to treat for just ~a year or the rest of my life. The good news is cancer has been essentially ruled out.

You can't even imagine what goes through your mind when a medical profession tells you that you have a mandatory appointment with a Dr that specializes in blood at the oncology department.  It's interesting what you consider important and the things you are glad for, it really brings your priorities into line and makes everything else fade away.  I don't wish today on anyone though, it was beyond scary, I cried a lot and feared my baby would never now a healthy mom or perhaps not even know his mom at all.  In the one moment of sheer terror I allowed myself, while alone in my car going to Liam, I was mentally making a list of things I wanted V to allow Liam to do (such as have a hamster, silly huh?).  The one thing I really value is the friends I felt comfortable with telling a little bit of what was going on and that I discovered how strong my faith really is....I didn't know if God would heal me but I wasn't mad at him and I didn't question him, my faith is strong in the face of fear and that alone was really reassuring.

So onward.  I start my rx tomorrow, right now I'm just thankful to have a tomorrow.

-Jen
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Updated links, this isn't every post but several that I thought were important to my journey. 

 Sept 26, 2011 Treatment Begins, Reality...is scary

Oct 18, 2011  Treatment Update

Nov 10, 2011 Exciting & Scary

Jan 25, 2012  Dr Appt Update

Feb 1, 2012 Sanity Temporarily Restored

April 24, 2012 I'm 29 & A Dr Appt Update

Aug 8, 2012 My First 1/2 Marathon {Take that ITP!}

Aug 20, 2012 Remission...I didn't know that could happen!