My First Half Marathon

Bucket List Item Accomplished!

I slept surprisingly well the night before, I had gone to bed around 8:30p and would say I was out by 9:15p.  I woke up a few times during the night but nothing that I couldn't go right back to sleep, I got up right before my alarm would have gone off at 4am sharp.  I had everything I needed in the living room as to let V rest.  I must admit I enjoyed the silence and my own wondering thoughts.  It was the first time I really started to think about crossing the finish line.  After I as all dressed I stood in the bathroom and just looked at my reflection for a moment; WOW, I really did it, I'm really here and I'm about to do this!  There was no fear just a general "wow" feeling.  I ate some scrambled eggs and a tiny cup of coffee and before I knew it I had to head out.

I drove under the cover of night through our city to downtown (just blocks from our home), parked my car and scurried over to the bus line.  Luckily I ran into a friend!  We both shared nervous chatter in line and on the bus ride.  Our city was still in slumber when we arrived at the stating area.  We still had a good 40 mins so we stretched, warmed up a little and took potty breaks.  They lit off fireworks every 15 minutes as a countdown to start time, the sun wasn't up yet and it was a fitting celebration.  My friend and I parted ways as we both had different race styles.

Then at 6am sharp BOOM!  With a cannon shot the race began!  I was near the front but slower so I made sure to move to the side so others could pass.  I jogged for a few miles then decided to conseve energy and start my walk/jog pattern (not timed just according to my body's direction).  We started in a less populated area, the river was so pretty!  Even at that early hour people had come out of their homes to cheer us on!  My mother-in-law surprised me throughout the race three times!  I knew she planned the first one, the second time had me super teary (I had to pull it together quickly as to not trigger my asthma), the third time she had V and Liam!  I felt so very loved!

The first 8 or so miles of the race didn't seem that difficult, other than the fact that the race organizers didn't have as many gels as I assumed from the race material.  Until 9 I was running on mostly Gatorade! Yikes!  Finally around mile 10 I was able to get a gel pack and an orange!  It was exactly what I needed to finish the race!  Also around this time my co-worker found me!  She had some difficultly getting her training runs in so I was happy to see that she had indeed decided to do the race!

Along the race I texted V, my bestie E and another friend where I was and when I expected to be done.  The last three miles were hard and I had to walk a lot.  In the back of my mind I really hoped to finish in less than 3 hours (I knew I could do this if I kept my average of a 12 min/mile).  I promised myself I'd be happy as long as I finished the race!  The people cheering us at the end were extra nice and supportive You are doing great! Keep going! You are ALMOST there!!  They called out!  Many of them throughout the race had sprinklers out in the street for us to run through, this was especially helpful now!  I couldn't have cared less if I ruined my ipod and phone as long as I got to cool off for a minute!

Around mile 12 the first full marathoner lapped me!  He would be the winner doing 26.2 miles in 2:32!  Dang!  I rounded the last corner determined to run/jog to the finish line!  Then out of the corner of my eye was my bestie!  She had a prime spot and would take the pics I've posted below!  She kept cheering me as I slowly inched toward the finish line (I really needed her support right then!!)


 I remember hearing a stranger say Smile they are taking pictures!  But I was spent, my exhausted look was all I could give....until....the finish line, in all it's glory there it was!!!  We all had these chips on our shoes to give us official times, they also provided the announcer our names so as we crossed they would call them out, not gonna lie it was one of the most awesome moments of my life!   A metal was placed around my neck by a stranger that I really wanted to hug!  But...I hadn't seem my mother-in-law, V or Liam....had I missed them? I wondered.  I had just seen them 4 miles ago.  Then to my left there they were!  I started to ball because, well, that is who I am...it's a knee jerk reaction.  Liam was completely confused.  I was still in the "runners only" area so I told them I'd see them shortly.  I should also mention this is where I started to go into my own little world.  It was like my body was on auto pilot and high at the same time!  Thankfully you are forced to go through a area where you can get beverages and food if you choose.  I choose water and some fruit.  My co-worker found me again and we kinda half spacey chatted (I have no idea what we talked about!)

Then I passed back into the real world and out of the "runners only" area.  V, Liam, mother-in-law and bestie were all waiting to congratulate me!  I also have no recollection of what we spoke about.  I remember some pictures being taken and holding Liam though my body didn't feel strong enough to.  We went down to the runners after gig and my body was quickly coming back to reality, time to get home! 

At home I quickly showered, I've never felt so gross in my lifetime!  While Liam napped I ran out and got the food my heart desired, came home and ate with V.  It's almost 8pm now and I still haven't napped.  I'm begining to feel the wear of the day and after this I plan on hitting the hay.  It's back to the real world tomorrow, it seems so unfair to have such a life changing day today and have to work tomorrow!

This will surely be just the first of many half marathons for me!  Currently I don't plan to do a full marathon but I guess you never know!

Much Love
-Jen

32ish Hours Until My FIRST Half Marathon

If I said I felt completely ready I'd be lying.  My little family unit of 3 spent the last week at the family cabin which means I've done almost no running.  The final week before a half or full marathon you aren't supposed to train hard but I would feel better if I'd gotten at least one or two runs in, but it just wasn't in the cards.

With that said, I'm as ready as I can be.  Tomorrow I'll pick up my registration info, maybe go on a sort hike for some last minute cross training (or maybe a walk), I'll have a big pasta dinner along with the powerade I've been chugging.  I have comfortable and work-out appropriate clothing and shoes...all the equipment I need.  I've worked hard for months, it's not about my time, it's just about finishing.

V is being supportive as he has been this whole time.  He, Liam, my in-laws, and bestie are planning to meet me at the end of my race.  It's funny because I imagine most people spend a lot of energy thinking about the moment they cross the finish line....I haven't.  I'm certain I'll cry because that is just who I am but other than that I haven't really thought much about, I sorta just look at this as another run (reality will surely set in when I see the thousands of people waiting to start the race too).  I am blessed to live in a beautiful city, I can't wait to do this run and as I've mentioned before I'm pretty excited to have it done too. :)

I'll surely post a few pics and the results after I have recovered!
Much Love,
Jen

Celebrating My One Year Old

This Saturday friends and family will gather and celebrate my little boy's first birthday.  Little boy, not really a baby any more.  He's waving like mad and side-steps around furniture, walking is on the horizon! 

My bestie is making mounds of sweets, I've got almost all the decor ready now as long as the weather plays nice we should have a fun little time.  I've planned a few games that the kids can play if they'd like, the adults can just mingle and hang out.  (V's family is so big that we invited 60 people almost all of which are solely family). 

I'm excited to celebrate him with those who love him! 

Miracles Happen

I had forgotten about this post until today, one where I spoke about a dear friend (we actually grew up together), who was told she wouldn't be able to have anymore children without serious medical intervention....then she got pregnant with almost no medical intervention (she was only on metformin).

Her little boy just turned two months.  I've seen miracles just happen(song)!

-Much Love
Jen

Pull your head out of....the sand.

I should have updated earlier but alas Liam got a cold and the whole week got away from me. 

After a reality check from a dear friend I pulled my head out of....the sand....and called Dr T.  Long story short he was glad to be updated but because of the size and location he said it would be fine to wait until my next appt (10/31) to have my numbers checked.  Whew.  What in the world was I thinking?  Why must I be so stubborn.  Have I already forgotten that my first numbers were life-threateningly low?  Eff self, eff.  No matter how scary I have a responsibility first to Liam and secondly to others who love me to manage this no matter how frightening it is.  I was being so selfish.  Jen you are not an Ostrich, keep your head out of the sand.

Platelets, Iron Levels and Pounds! Oh My!

Yep I got 'em.  At least some, more than I had to begin with anyway, so that's good. :) I'll keep it brief because honestly I'm sick of thinking about it.  [All said with a genuine smile.] 

I saw Dr T (yes you know, hematologist extraordinaire) on Monday, with my most recent decrease in steroids came a lower platelet number but the # is still acceptable.  My red blood cells (related to iron and anemia) are higher in quantity but not big enough physically yet, apparently this can take months so I'll take the increase in number for now.  I haven't lost any weight which Dr T seemed happy about, I mentioned I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight and he seemed impressed so that was nice, I still want to lose a few more pounds.  The best news yet is that I go down to half a pill everyday and skip labs next week, my next appointment is on Halloween so hopefully the decrease in my steroids will be kind to me (and just maybe I'll lose a few more pounds!).

The best part of Monday was I had taken the day off to spend with Liam, my bestie aka Liam's Aunt E came with us (and Thank God, how would I get my blood drawn with a squirmy 4 month old in my arms, EK!).  Auntie sipped coffee with us while we waited and watched little Liam (who was a grumpy Gus until he fell asleep) while I did labs and met with Dr T.  I'm so thankful for her, she does so much with a smile on her face, I'd be so very lost without her, I hope she knows I genuinely mean it when I tell her that!

E is for best friend

I have a pretty amazing best friend, and the ironic part is that when we met a good seven years ago we couldn't stand each other.  Today I honestly can't picture my life without her.  She is more like a sister these days and I honestly consider her Liam's aunt with every inch of my heart and soul.  It's funny because she does things I'd never expect of anyone and she does them with a smile on her face.  Come to my infertility appointment? Sure!  Come to all my scary blood tests? Sure!  Show up at the hospital at 4am just to sit in a waiting room?  Sure!!!  Listen to countless hours of conversation about my breasts, vagina or Liam's pop? Absolutely!
She is loving, kind, smart, funny and just all around amazing!  What would I do with her?  I don't ever want to know! Thank you Jesus for E, you knew how much I'd need her in my life!

Week in Review: 1st Week Back at Work

Well I made it through my first week back at work.  In truth it wasn't nearly as bad ad I thought it would be.  I'm certain it was more difficult for me than Liam.  Part of me has enjoyed getting up, dressed and out of the house each day and the adult conversation is nice.  I miss Liam everyday but I get texts from A (who watches him for us) and my boss has let me leave early a few times.  The routine is really nice, Liam has settled right into it and we were able to make it to church this weekend without any extra effort.  And let's face it the extra money coming it helps, our savings took a hit while I was on maternity leave and only collecting 60% of my wages. 

So to review:

Monday: Last day of maternity leave, spent most of the day snuggling and crying.
Tuesday: First day back in the office, cried 3 times & pumped 4 times.  Made weeks worth of main dishes that night, didn't cook the rest of the week!
Wednesday: Second day back in the office, got a good size raise!  Only teared up once, pumped 3 times
Thursday: Third day back in the office, feeling good about routine before work and at work (pumped 3 times).  Now I have a stash of breast milk!
Friday:  Fourth day back in office, G'ma and G'pa took Liam for the whole day; V and I ventured out to dinner and a movie.  Missed my little man like crazy, cried going to pick him up (perhaps the next date will be just dinner). Only pumped four times that day, by the time we picked up Liam my boobies were going to explode!

Saturday:  Liam woke up at 7am ready to be changed, eat and play!  We enjoyed some time on his play mat batting at toys, smiling and giggling.  He fell back asleep about 9am, V was still sleeping so I put Liam in his bassent in our room (and told V) and ventured off to the gym for a glorious 30 minute workout (only 30 minutes because Momma is out-of-shape!).  Liam and I had lunch with a friend at 1pm and spent the rest of the day with V.

Sunday: Liam was up at 7am again ready for the day so V and I got up and took turns playing with and getting him ready and getting ready ourselves, we were out the door for church on time!  After church we went home and enjoyed the rest of the day finishing up house chores, napping and playing together.   What a perfect weekend!

The Room that Love Built

I was cleaning up Liam's room today and got to thinking how loved we are.  The room pre-Liam was....well I serious work in progress, I really should have taken before pics but I didn't want to remember it!  Below I've attached a few pics of things people have made or give us for Liam's room, it makes it such a special place! 




My bestie's mom bought Liam these jelly fish on the OR coast and I painted the fish!




Liam's G'pa created this built-in closet and shelves, my bestie made the pillows and I made the letters (and painted the turtle).



The mobile my bestie made and the shark V painted.

I painted these creature and my bestie got me the lotion whale!

What the Crap! Nooooo!

Was the first thought that ran through my mind today when I saw a sad face as a status update from a dear friend.  I refuse to share all the details because it's not mine to share but her journey breaks my heart.  Her and her husband are on a long journey to be parents and today isn't a great day for them.

I spent the morning praying for them every chance I got, I begged God for a miracle on their behalf.  Then after seeing her sad face status update I spent the afternoon questioning God.  Wondering often out loud why their journey is this way, why any of us have to struggle to have children....then I went on to have an argument with myself about how I know that I'm not supposed to know all the ways and whys of God's will.  It was an interesting afternoon in my little pea brain.

I hate infertility, I hate that some have to struggle to have children.  I hate that anyone even has to "try" and get pregnant.  I hate the loneliness of the struggle.  I hate that it ruins friendships.  I hate that so many don't understand and don't try and relate to those of us who can't just WHAM BAMB THANK YOU MA'AM and get pregnant.  I hate that I can't do anything and don't know why this is happening to my friend.

My heart is heavy for my friend today.

Divorce

Today I received some shocking news, some friends of ours are staring divorce in the face.  V and I used to be closer to this couple but somehow we just grew apart over the years... I'm finding it difficult to even express what I'm feeling inside.  I know of very few people who are facing this, I have acquaintances that have gotten divorced, friends of friends but no one this close to us.  They are honestly one of the last couples I would have imagined this happening to, which in part means they have been struggling in silence and alone and that absolutely breaks my heart.  Even more worse is the fact that they have a child who is less than a year old.  I won't allow my mind to speculate as to what caused this because it's none of my business, if it were I would know.  My heart bleeds for them and cries out in prayers for them.

As usual no real point to this post, just trying to get some thoughts out of my head.

Rock and Worship Roadshow 2011

Last night my bestie and I ventured to the Rock and Worship Roadshow, luckily this year it was in our hometown!  Last year it was in the next state over (two states over?), we only had to drive about 3 hours but we ended up lost in the rain, it was hectic but still fun.  This year we were both so excited to get to stay in town, knowing exactly where we were going!  After a quick meal of some "Mexican" fast food we were off to find parking, souvenirs and seats.  We got there about 45 mins early, found parking easily and a short walk later we arrived at the venue with no line! (this concert doesn't sell tickets in advance, it's cash at the door which is pretty easy since it's only $10).  We each purchased a souvenir or two (I bought a lullaby CD by Mercy Me!) and ventured off to find seats.  We just caught the end of the opening act, actually the music Pastor of my church won a contest to open the concert, it was really great to see him doing what he's called to!  We quickly sat down and we were lucky, the Fire Marshall ended up shutting the doors soon after we sat, every single seat was sold! WOW!  This is not a normal occurrence in our town, even fairly big artists don't sell out this venue (it's not huge, I'd say a few thousand seats), the last time it sold out was a few years a go for Elton John! Pretty cool to see a Christan concert sell it out!

Hours passed filled with music by the artists: Anthem Lights, The Afters, Thousand Foot Crutch, LaCrea, Jars of Clay and Mercy Me!  The variety was really nice, Thousand Foot Crutch was LOUD but that can be expected as they are what I would call heavy metal christian music, LaCrea I'd never heard of-they were Rap-ish sorta Hip Hop Christian! I can honestly say I've never enjoyed rap or hip hop until last night! It was pretty neat!  Anthem Lights, The Afters, Jars of Clay and Mercy Me are all about the same type of music though I'm not sure how to classify it....it's my style that is for sure!

Ok enough rambling, here are some pics!  I hope if this concert was, is or will be in your area you will go, it's so worth it!

Leon Young (Worship Pastor at my church won a contest to open for the concert!)

Mercy Me

Jars of Clay

LaCrea

Anthem Lights

My Second Rock & Worship Roadshow

Last year my bestie and I traveled about 3 hrs way to see our first "Rock and Worship Roadshow"  we had such a blast (aside from getting lost in the rain).  The concert has amazing artists and at $10 who can argue with that?  We stayed in a hotel and the next day did some shopping and all around relaxing.  I remember being in a pretty hard place emotionally last year with our fertility stuff, both V and I had started to wonder if something was "up" with my complete lack of cycles.  I'm so excited to attend this year 6 months pregnant, amazing what God will do with some faith and a little time!

This year it's in our hometown!  This year there is no chance we'll get lost in the raid (perhaps I should say little chance, just in case).  I can not wait, just a few more hours and we'll be signing, dancing and just enjoying some amazing worship music and quality time!  Yay!! 

I've included a photo from last year to this post, this weekend I'll update with current pics!

Bart Millard from Mercy Me

You like me, you REALLY like me!

Haha, forgive me I could NOT resist that!  I've received my first ever Blogger Award nomination from Casey over at Align My Heart, My Body, My Mind.  Seriously go check her out stat, I'll wait.  She is an amazing woman!! I feel honored to call my friend, she is her own personal journey to parenthood and blogs about it with a honesty and real emotions that touch the heart. 

So seven things about myself.....hmm let's see what comes to mind.

1. I'm a survivor of domestic violence, I was emancipated from my parents by my state on my 16th Birthday and have been on my own since.  Even putting myself through college.
2. Something a little lighter this time.....I love hugs, like a lot, my husbands are the best in the world. 
3. During college I interned for Walt Disney World at The Coral Reef Restaurant in Florida, love love loved every minute of it.  I took that time to make sure I knew who I was and wanted to be when no one I knew was watching, pretty exciting when you are 20.  Oh yeah I'm from the west coast side of the US and had never been anywhere near Disney when I interned there! :)
4. I'm totally and utterly addicted to chap stick, I have an entire vase full of a variety of different kinds and brands in my bedroom (I don't wear lip stick, my lips are naturally dark).
5. I have really bad spelling habits, I'm pretty self conscience about it and work really hard to NEVER spell things wrong....but I fail a lot.
6. I would LOVE to run a marathon (perhaps start with a half), I've always let my asthma stand in the way of that but I'm putting it on my bucket list to do!
7. Chances are you will never see me without earrings, I feel utterly naked without them.

Now for my nominations, check them out!

Emily @ Life Among Mountains
Charity @ Way Out West
Keiko @ Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed
Stephanie @ Stephanie Cooks
Kit @ A Montana Life

Apology Failure?

For as long as I can remember V and I have been asked “when are you going to get married?” then immediately after “when are you going to have babies?” Sure it was annoying but it never really bothered me that much until we actually started trying to have children (just shy of our two year wedding anniversary). As the months of trying drug on, and we struggled, mainly in silence, even the closest friend would get on my nerves “what are you going to give Vic a baby??” As if I were keeping children from him.

The months went on and I got a little bit sharper with my responses, never meaning to be unkind but I know I was sometimes. Ask anyone the same question repeatedly for 2.5 years and they’ll get sick of answering it, trust me. Last September as V and I approached our appointment to start infertility testing V confided in a mutual guy friend that we were trying unsuccessfully but didn’t tell me. I’m sure it was an honest mistake on his part and that he just needed a guy to talk to it about. A few weeks after V confided in our friend (we’ll call him S), S came up to me while I was volunteering with the infants at church and made some comment like “so you and V are working on one of these, eh?” I vividly remember looking up at him sharply and replying rather unkindly though my exact words I no longer recall. Unfortunately S and his wife had scheduling conflicts soon after and stopped attending our small group (which is how we knew them).

Weeks and weeks passed before S and my paths crossed again but I never forgot that conversation, it weighed heavily on me especially after V told me he had confided in S. I felt like such a jerk. Then we found out we were pregnant and my rude remark to S grew heavier and heavier in my heart. Finally our paths crossed one night as I was going to volunteer with the infants again S was working at our espresso bar. I brought up our past conversation and apologized profusely. What did he do? Nothing, he didn’t recall the conversation at all! Imagine my surprise as I stood there, still trying to apologize, and S is scratching his head. I can only assume he thought nothing of it and it simply rolled off his shoulders like water. He was overjoyed that we were expecting and told me to make sure and get a hold of him and Mrs. S so we could do dinner or bowling soon. I was happy but a bit dumbfounded as I wondered off to volunteer with my coco in hand.

It’s funny, I sat down to write this post about how S should have forgiven me and blah blah blah but really he already had. By letting that moment slip from his memory he’d forgiven me without asking for it. Yet I held myself accountable and let it burden my heart.  I'm thankful for good friends like S. and Mrs. S.

Heatbreak

Today I was going to write a overly sappy post about how this year has been hard but in the end it redeemed it's self blah blah blah. 
Then I learned early this morning my dear friend lost her baby.  Heartbreak.  It feels so unfair, I want to shout at the universe "you screwed up!".  She is such a wonderful woman and although I can't say I know her husband well, if he's lucky enough to be married to her I'm sure he's amazing too.  I've cried on and off most of the day.  I feel so helpless, there is nothing I can do to even remotely sooth her pain, her loss, her heartbreak.  I want so desperately to help her, each of my tears is another prayer to God to comfort her during this horribly sad time.
Having a child is the one thing in a woman's life that you just assume will work out naturally and be easy yet it turns out for so many it's a huge struggle.  It's a wonder humanity goes on at all.
So today I'm a bit down for her.  I'm considering postponing my baby-related posts for a while out of respect for the things she is going through, just a heads up.

Some Randoms

Sorry I've been a bit MIA lately, this week I was pretty sick ("morning" sickness).  I've learned how to deal with it, mostly with lots saltines and more sleep.  Our babe is worth every moment of nausea etc but it's caused me to be missing in action recently.  So what's been going on?  I'm hear to catch you up!

Overall things are good, V is pampering me quite a bit these days, this morning he did a bunch of chores around the house for me while I sat on the sofa.  Bliss!  V has been saying cute things that show me he's getting more and more excited, it's super cute.  Since we found out so early it sorta feels like we've been pregnant forever!  We have our third (yes THIRD) ultrasound on Nov 1 and hopefully we will see a little blob and hear a heartbeat.  At which point we are telling BIL and SIL, (hopefully they keep their mouths shut!)

Work is great, my boss is super understanding.  She's been traveling a lot, I think after the u/s in just over a week she will want me to do some day trips around the state with her. I'm ok with it, she is so great that I really don't mind.

Fall is officially here, actually the weather is getting much colder.  This week we have a few days where the high is less than 50 degrees.  Yikes!  I'm not ready for snow!  V and I are thinking about driving up to the family cabin for the last time this year.  The roads are really bad way up there and being so near the lake, well on the lake, I am just not cool enough to go up to the cabin in say January.  :)

I only have a friend or two in real life (aka outside of my blog buddies) that know about our little babe.  They have all been so wonderful!  Some of them are on here so I want to give a shout out to you, your calls, emails, thoughts, prayers and mini-hangouts mean the world to me!  But let me not forget my blog buddies!  You guys have been amazing too!  Your comments, thoughts and prayers and those of you I email with mean so very much to me!  I never thought I'd build such great friendships with people I met online but you have enriched my life so very much!  I heart you all!

Ok, well I've got myself all teary-eyed so it's time to get my rear off the sofa and shower.  Happy Saturday peeps!

A little good news!

I went and had my blood taken again with my bestie by my side.  Again Dr Wonderful (his new nickname) called and reported my beta numbers this evening....it doubled!  That is exactly what we were hoping for!  We aren't out of the woods yet, there is still a chance the baby is growing in my tube and we still don't know how far we are (all we know is I am super early) BUT I am still pregnant and that is huge for me! 
So I have to call in the morning and schedule my second ultrasound, this appt V will be attending!  Keep praying peeps!

Two things I must share!

Hi my blog peeps, I have two stories I have to tell you.

First I feel like a small miracle has happened!! As most of you know I left my really stressful job almost two months ago, I took a pay cut but it's been so worth it.  Thankfully I learned my new job has amazing benefits that have already kicked in (they will cover our infertility treatment!).  Something I haven't told you is that I feared we'd only have these benefits for as little as one month because my company had been purchased (I was aware of this when I interviewed for the position), the FCC has finished the final paperwork and changes to anything could start as early as November of this year (meaning we could loose our amazing insurance shortly after getting it).  I was terrified of our insurance changing because it would limit our ability to get infertility treatment.  I've been praying and asking God for simple/small miracles, "please let us keep this insurance."  Today I got to work and learned we would keep all the same benefits through 2011. THANK GOD!!!

On to this evening, I was out to dinner with my childhood friend (you remember her sister Jamie passed away suddenly last summer) and another friend K & her girlfriend.  Long story short I was asked how the whole baby journey was going and started crying.  I  shared with them about my dr appt next week and infertility testing/potential treatments.  Little did I know K and her girlfriend want to have children and have been looking for information on how to go about fertility treatments in our area!  It ended up being a really great conversation and now we can support each other on our journeys to being mommies!  I feel so blessed.  I feel like this really is why God has us on this journey so we can open up to people and make them not feel so alone on this journey. 

Forget overflowing my cup is drowning.

I hope you are having a great night peeps!

Leaving on My Terms

Today was the last day of my former job! I've day dreamed, wished, hoped, sometimes feared this day for a long time, and today it really occurred and now it's hard to believe it happened! It was hard not to burn bridges, more than once I wanted to just flip someone the bird and go out in a blur of angry obscenities, there has been a lot of prayer over the last few days. By the grace of God I managed to not flip anyone anything nor curse anyone out (yay!) mostly because I stayed really, really busy! I worked up until the last moment, a co-worker called wanting to have lunch together. I showed up and was surprised with a card signed by everyone, a gift, flowers and lunch with three of my favorite people! Lunch was so fun, we all vowed to stay in touch (and take yoga together!) in the end I filed my last paperwork with HR, handed in my keys and company phone and walked out very teary eyed. I'm sad to go but happy to move on, it's really been a hard couple of years but I choose not to regret it because I have made so many wonderful friendships and learned so much! Funny how blessings come in all sizes, shapes and forms!