December 9, 2009

Where to Start, Here I Guess!

So I thought it would be fun to have a journal of sorts about our journey into parenthood! My husband, we'll call him V, and I have been happily married just shy of two years and together somewhere around 5. We are best friends and complete opposites who deeply love one another.

Just over 3 months ago I would have told you we weren't quite ready for children, I'm only 26 while V is 35. Then tragedy hit me, really for the first time in my life. I had a friend die very suddenly at only 22.....suddenly life left extremely short, I felt very stupid for walking around thinking I had any kind of control and I no longer wanted to plan out everything, mind you I LOVE to plan things. My world was rocked. I took several days with these new thought just to myself wanting to make sure I wasn't jumping to conclusions out of fear and my very raw emotions. My new emotions focused on having children with the man I so deeply love and who will be undoubtedly an amazing father. I in an instant felt the need to move on to the phase of life we hadn't yet planned for (or was further down on the planning list then we were). It's amazing but my perspective changed very quickly.

V and I had many a talk about my new feelings. Almost 10 years ago I had abnormal periods and was told I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) so it was unclear how easy or difficult it would be for me to get pregnant, a fear I'd lived too long with. V and I didn't want to jump into the whole "trying" thing but I no longer wanted to "prevent". Something dramatic had changed in my heart and there was no going back. So just 3 months shy of our 2nd wedding anniversary I went to the doctor to discuss ditching birth control and what hopefully would happen.

It's a very exciting time, I am so happy to be off birth control for the first time in 10 years! I can't wait to just see what my body is like without it! I don't have any expectation of how long it will be before we get that wonderful "pregnant" on a home pregnancy test and I'm ok with that. This life is but a journey and it's going to be an amazing ride!!!