September 26, 2011

Intentionally Untitled

Hmmm well this won't be a ray of sunshine post, sorry.  Right now I have so much bouncing around in my head it's hard to even focus.  I have another appointment with the hematologist today, in two hours actually.  I could have a wide variety of people go with me but I'm choosing to go alone and I'm not sure why.  Perhaps the back of my mind hopes that I just won't need anyone, that I'll get good news...

My medication is not cool.  It makes me feel old...I'm so tired, achy and anxious.  I'm afraid to tell Dr T it makes me anxious, I don't want yet another pill to take right now. I feel like I take a handful every morning as it is.  Doesn't matter if it helps, please God let it be helping.  I found more bruises again this morning, they pop up suddenly in strange places, places you would remember hitting that hard. I feel like I should wear long sleeves and pants 24/7 so no one even sees the light ones that spot most of my body.

Only time will tell I suppose.  The worst part about all this is Dr T can't tell what symptoms are what since I just had a baby.  Rapid weight loss, hair falling out, exhaustion etc it could all go either way (except the bruises and extremely low platelet count).  Sigh.  I just try to keep reminding myself God saw this coming, and he's got it all under control.  It's all going to be just fine because it has to be.

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