Mom Guilt

I suffer from Mom Guilt...a lot, a lot more than I'd like to admit. It's a challenge being a working mom but it's one I put on myself. Yes I do have to work, especially now that we have a mortgage, but also I want to work. I want it all, a family and a career.

Maybe I'm not all that different from other moms but I feel like it...a lot. I rarely give up time with Liam. I'm really lucky to have a husband that let's me train basically whenever I want (early mornings before Liam is up or immediately after he's asleep) and a bestie that is the most understand human to ever have walked the face of the earth. I work but I rarely even take a lunch so I get a little extra time with Liam each day. I drop him off at daycare or Grandma's house (depending on the day) rush to work, work and rush to pick him up. I don't workout when he's awake, I don't hang out with friends.... I read to him, play with him, change him, whatever he needs. I try to be just in the moment with him as much as possible.

I swear I'm not obsessive. I just want to be his mom, I want the time I have with him to be all about him. I want him to know he has all my love for everyday we have. I know a lot of this is because I can't have more children, I value all the time I have with him so much knowing I will not experience these firsts again. Time moves so quickly, I just want to soak in these years.

Not to say it isn't hard sometimes, I get tired and frustrated. I want just a little time to myself. Who doesn't?

So once in a great while I take a little "me" time. Usually I'll let Liam sleepover at the Grandparent's house. They love having him, he loves being there. I love getting some extra rest or cleaning done. But even then I feel so guilty. Or on the days I do take a lunch (and go for a run), that extra hour eats at me...even if I run an errand without him on the weekend, it just kills me sometimes.

But why? I mean really why not take a little break once in a while? How do men do it and feel nothing, they (seemingly) have no guilt at all.


I push myself so hard, I run myself ragged...the most important thing I can do in this life is a be a good mom to him but I need to take care of myself too.

There is no right answer, is there?

Currently

I saw this on Julie's blog over at Peanutbutterfingers.com and thought it'd be a fun way to actually get a post done....and I love surveys!

Current Guilty Pleasure?
Spicy Food! I can't tell you how many spicy dishes I've had this week!!
Current Blessing?
Our home, I'm so in love with it!
Current Favorite Show?
Newlyweds the First Year on Brovo!  I just love the four different couples!
Current Excitement?
I'm back to training for a Half Marathon (in 56 days) I love running, I love having a plan and something to accomplish!  Also we are planning a trip possibly with V's parents this summer, looks like; camping, a zoo and a trip to a National Park....all things V and I love and can't wait to expose Liam to!

Your turn!

• Current Guilty Pleasure?
• Current Blessing?
• Current Favorite Show?
• Current Excitement?

 

10 days into Homeownership

Whew!  Need I say more?  Moving is crazy, add in a toddler to that and oh my!  Did I ever mention V and I have never moved together before, talk about learning experience! LOL! We are all settling in well now, Liam is fully adjusted to the new house, it's so sweet how happy he is here with all the extra room. 

For the most part we are fully unpacked, aside from odds and ends, the kind of stuff that probably should get donated anyway.  I've been putting off getting shades for the house, there is another oh my but a different kind all together, they are so expensive!  Luckily V's work started selling them (and area rugs!!!) so we'll take full advantage of his employee discount!  Here are a couple rugs I'm considering and the shades I want: ( take it back I couldn't get the website for the rugs we are considering to load, here is a pic of the shades, lame I know but I love that you can pull them down from the top and just let some light in!).

I have to admit I've been terrible about decorating.  I pulled our a few things I was given for my birthday but have yet to hang a single thing... I'm sorta overwhelmed with all the decisions (where to put things, what walls to paint accent colors, colors of rugs/curtains/plates).  I just need to start making some decisions and the rest will come. So far the only thing I've decided is the tree I want to plant (we need to let the dirt settle for another few weeks before we can sod and do flowers which is yet another decision). Our tree will be an Autumn Blaze Maple with turns, as the name suggests, a very bright red in the fall.  I can not wait!

What else could I share? I've got my first few runs in here in the new 'hood.  It's not the same as the our old rental, it's one saving grace was that I could step out our front door and run along the river which as you can imagine was beautiful.  I could still jump in my car and drive 15 mins (at most) and run along the river but I choose to just run in my new neighborhood, which isn't all that bad....we are out on the edge of town, out here I notice the mountains much more and can appreciate their beauty. 

Ok, it's late and I'm rambling.

Until next time, much love-
Jen