November 30, 2010

12 weeks, hard to believe......

How far along; 12 weeks, is it odd that I'm still surprised I'm pregnant?!

  •  Weighty Issues:  Well... had a dr appt yesterday, got weighed...I've gained 7 lbs, yikes, over the recommended 3-5 for the first trimester....but in all honestly all I could stomach for weeks was bread sticks, bagels and such.  My nurse and dr didn't seem to notice let alone be concerned, so I'm just going to continue eating as healthy as I can and accepting the lbs as they come. 
  • Stretch Marks: None yet, I really need to start using my belly cream!!
  • Sleep: I can't get enough sleep, however I've been waking up at 4am wide awake. Super fun......NOT
  • Best Moment this week: Oh boy, well after a spotting scare over the weekend I have to say hearing the heart beat yesterday, I was scared sh!t-le$$.  Praise God babe is still growing away! 
  • Movement: negatory thus far, hopefully in a few more weeks! 
  • Food Commentary:It's still up and down, I was able to eat on Thanksgiving but have had several days lately where I need two magic pills (I'm allowed up to 3/day).  My dr says two more weeks and I'll be a "new woman"  Here's hoping! 
  • Labor Signs: God Forbid! it's far far far too early for that business!!!! I don't plan on changing this one until at least 36+ weeks.
  • Belly Button In or Out: So far still in, V is STILL obsessed with it, he rubs it, looks at it, talks to the babe through it.  Odd, very odd honey.
  • What I miss: Energy and being able to go to the grocery store and/or cook dinner without gagging.  But I don't miss anything enough to trade it for my babe. 
  • What I'm looking forward to: Everything....and feeling better soon (hopefully)
  • Weekly Wisdom: If the dr on call is mean or rude to you call them out on it.  (yes this happened to me, I was spotting on Friday and scared (but calm, cool and collected until she was super unkind to me).  I didn't call her out and I should have.  I did tell my dr about it today though
  • Weekly WTF: WTF rude dr, if you don't want to deal with scared pregnant ladies you should have decided to work in the morgue!  Jerk. 
  • Nesting: Um I'd love to start nesting, if only I had the energy.  Right now I have two hour bursts and then I'm useless. I'm dying to order a crib!
  • Milestones: My dr was able to easily find the heart beat yesterday on the hand held doppler.  He said "yep, nice and normal."  Whew, felt like a giant leap!  


November 26, 2010

Attitude of Gratitude: Day 4

I am beyond thankful for friends and family.  My entire life my friends have been my family, friends were there for me in my darkest days and happiest days, they have waked through my fears with me and the hardest of times have shown me the ones that really matter.  I have so many friends that are my real family and they that make my life fuller, richer and over all just completely better.  I'm serious when I say I'd be lost without most of them, a couple of you on here are included in that! 

Reflecting of the days of my Attitude of Gratitude posts it's been really healthy for me, put my perspective back in place on my grumpy days.  I really need to be more grateful everyday! 

I love ya peeps, I hope your thanksgiving was amazing!

Thanksgiving 2010

As with all holidays we spent Thanksgiving with V's family, we went to mom and dad-in-laws house and mom-in-laws siblings, their children and grandchildren came over.  All-in-all there were about 30 of us.  Most of us were assigned a side dish to bring so mom-in-law didn't have to do it all and dinner turned out amazing!

We hadn't seen most of the extended family yet since announcing our pregnancy so it was really great to see them.  Each person came up to us to congratulate us and show how very excited for us.  My heart fills with warmth just thinking about it.  One of V's cousin's wives even complimented me "your 3 months and not even showing! I wanted to see a belly!!!"  Makes me smile since I pretty much always feel "bloated" these days. 

It was so great to see everyone!  V's family is so wonderful and loving, it's amazing to be part of them, I can't wait for my babe to be here with us!

This morning I slept in until 9am then V and I went shopping.  I got another pair of maternity jeans at Old Navy for $15 and a shirt for $10.  We also picked up a gift for V's parents.  Then V decided he wanted to look at TV's for his man cave in the basement, thankfully we didn't see anything that was that great of a deal so we got to come home after only spending $50!  Wahoo! 

November 25, 2010

Attitude of Gratitude: Day 3

This one is simple, I'm thankful for each day the little life in my belly (uterus) keeps growing.  Here is my 11 week "belly" pic from today, sorry I'm not properly turned, V thought he was a comedian while taking it.  (making fun of me for wearing maternity jeans, jokes on you my love the stretch came in mighty handy after enjoying a big thanksgiving meal!)

November 24, 2010

11 Week Survey (a bit late) & Attitude of Gratitude

I think it goes without saying that today's Attitude of Gratitude is baby related.  I ask myself daily "am I really pregnant?!"  It's a crazy miracle, as ALL babies are! 

How far along; 11 weeks!

  • Weighty Issues: Still haven't weighed myself, Monday the dr will tell me to lay off the bread sticks :)  
  • Stretch Marks: same as last week, none yet but I fear for my boobies.....
  • Sleep: Amazing, I love sleep!  Most nights I'm happily in bed at 9:15pm oh and naps are my friend!
  • Best Moment this week: V and I went to church for the first time since "coming out" and it was so sweet to see so many people I only know a little be so excited about my babe.  He/She is already SO loved by so many.
  • Movement: none yet, I'm really looking forward to the first "was that a kick?!?" moment
  • Food Commentary: it's up and down lately, either days are really bad or really good.  Hopefully we'll turn that magic 2nd tri corner and never look back.  I'm praying I can eat Thanksgiving dinner....we'll see.  P.S. Still taking magic pills almost daily.
  • Labor Signs: God Forbid! it's far far far too early for that business!!!!  I don't plan on changing this one until at least 36+ weeks.
  • Belly Button In or Out: So far still in, V is obsessed with it, he even uses it as a portal to talk to the baby! 
  • What I miss: Not much anymore, although it would be nice to just eat whatever for any given meal in stead of saying to myself "what could I eat that won't kill my stomach right now?"  Even on a good day I have to choose my food carefully.
  • What I'm looking forward to: Monday is our next appointment, hopefully we'll hear the heart beat on the Doppler!
  • Weekly Wisdom: Running errands with someone is smart, V pointed out that I was far too hungry the other day (he was right!) then that I was far too tired to continue (and promptly took me home and forced me to nap, he was right it was for my own good).  Perhaps my weekly wisdom would be "stop being so stubborn!"
  • Weekly WTF: WTF random people already looking directly at my belly during conversation!  Yikes I'm bloated by not showing.....yet
  • Nesting: I dont' know if it's "nesting" but I'm all about clearing up some stuff, moving some things around and donating some things so we can have the baby's room cleaned out.
  • Milestones: I've pretty much stopped wishing my pregnancy away now that I'm over ten weeks.  Now I'm looking forward to each little step and the end result in June! <3 

November 23, 2010

Attitude of Gratitude: Day Two

I'm about to get all sorts of sappy on you here, just saying.

What am I thankful for? My husband, putting all the baby stuff aside he's amazing.  I had a rough childhood which, no matter how well you come out of it, leaves you with baggage and issues.  V has dealt with all my junk with the most grace anyone could.  He is patient, and oh so kind, and while not the most romantic he is so thoughtful.  In college he was my personal cheerleader and supporter. Ok, now I gotta bring up some pregnancy related sappiness:  I'm exhausted 24-7 and V has, without being asked, stepped up to 100% of the chores around the house plus anything else that could make my life easier.  He has gone above and beyond all the time!  I didn't know I could love someone so much, every time I think I can't love him more I fall so much deeper in love with him.  And when he talks to the babe, through my belly button, it just melts my heart!  I can't imagine my life without him and there is no one I'd rather have babies with! <3

November 22, 2010

Attitude of Gratitude: Day One

I heard something on the radio today and it really struck me, the DJ said "Why is it that we choose to be most thankful during the month of November? And not all year around?  After all we have things to be thankful for all 365 days of the year." I'm sure I've heard it before but it hit me today.  I could really be more thankful in life.  So I'm going to try and post a Attitude of Gratitude post everyday this week.  Today being day one.

Today I am thankful for food.  I know that sounds silly but so many don't have enough to eat everyday.  Today I left work, drove across town in my new(ish) safe and reliable car to the grocery store, picked out healthy items that sounded good and returned home.  It never once crossed my mind "can we afford this? should we wait?  when will we eat again?"  This is not the case for so many not only around the world but in all of our communities.  So I choose and Attitude of Gratitude and a commitment to donate assist those in need.

So, tell me, what are what is your Attitude of Gratitude about today?

November 21, 2010

Our Story, from the begining

I know most of you have been following me from the beginning and know our story.  This post is to serve as a more detailed part of my profile.  I'm hoping to make a link in my profile so that others can read this later and I can reduce the amount of info there.  So sorry if this is a repeat. 

After about two and half years of marriage my husband "V" and I were enjoying a prolonged newlywed phase when my world was rocked.  For the first time in my life I lost someone close to me in a very unexpected and tragic way.  At just 21 years old friend Jamie's life was very suddenly ended.  My mindset had been V and I would buy a house then have babies in the semi-near/distant future, after Jamie died that all changed.  You see V is a bit 9 years older, than me so our baby making plans have always been in my hands.  After Jamie's funeral I felt a urgent desire to have children and live the life I wanted but had on hold.  God really spoke to me, showing me that ultimately I am not in control of the number of my days but the amount of life I live in the days he gives.

One problem though, at age 17 I was told I likely would have trouble having children because I had PCOS.  V and I took some time to rely on our faith, and pray about this new desire, to make sure I/we weren't acting out of fear but out of a real desire for chidren of our own.  Three months later, also known as December 2009, we officially went off birth control and started trying.  I always wondered if my PCOS diagnosis was true or not, after all I was only 17 years old when I received it.  The months passed and my cycles grew longer and longer ranging from 35 to 112 days, far beyond the "normal" scope.  I tried charting but it never showed ovulation for me, and I ultimately gave up after about 80 days (part of one cycle).  My dr at the time wasn't being proactive and I had to almost pressure her to do anything let alone run tests (she only did prolactin and thyroid both came back "normal").  After 9 months of this with her I left her for a new wonderful dr and also left my super stressful job.

I set an appointment with a new dr who would do infertility testing and treatment if he felt they were necessary.  I had to wait about two months before I could get into this new dr due to his vacation and waiting for my new (better) insurance to take over.  During this time I enjoyed my new job, stopped charting, stopped scheduling sex and started eating a lot of raw veggies for snacks and started doing yoga once a week.  I let go of all the trying in hopes that we would soon be doing testing and likely treament anyway.  Basically I let go of it all; all my anxiety, all my trying to plan it and make it work and just left it in God's hands and waited.  Those weeks dragged and sped by all at once, I know in reality it was a very short time but in my mind each day dragged, I never imagined it would really take so much for us to be parents.  God saw that we needed this break badly and ultiamtely it was a wonderful and so restful.  During this time my body continued to nothing, or so I thought.  The day of my appointment I was on cycle day 102, only my 3rd cycle in 11 months.

On the morning of my infertility appointment I took a pregnancy test per V's request....and it was positive, despite that I still hadn't had a period in well over 100 days.  We were both floored and over the moon!!  We cried and thanked God!!  Since we had no idea how far along I could be (I hadn't taken a test in over a month) I decided to go to the appointment anyway and see if the new dr would do an ultrasound to detemine the baby's gestational age and he did.  Unfortunately he couldn't find the baby, what he did find was a large mass, the size of a large orange, of "fluid" near my right ovary.  He feared my pregnancy was ectopic and thus potentially life threatening.  Over the course of the next few weeks I had two blood tests, to check for properly rising betas, and two more ultrasounds to see if the baby was growing in the right area and at the right speed.  It was a terrifying few weeks that felt like months at the time.  Praise God that each time our tests came back normal and the mystery fluid disappeared.  On November 1 V and I got to see our little gummy bear looking baby measuring a great 8 weeks with a heartbeat of 174 and my dr, who had been AMAZING said the most wonderful words "we're going to treat you like a regular pregnant lady moving forward".

Today is November 20th and as Thanksgiving is fast approaching I find myself overly thankful for this crazy miracle living and growing everyday.  I still can't believe I'm pregnant other than my serious morning sickness.  I was thinking this morning who I'd love to have a skylight of sorts in my belly so I could check on my babe everyday, then it occurred to me....God has been teaching me so much this whole time but now more than ever he is teaching me to rely on him, trust that he's given us this miracle and that he alone is watching over him/her daily and he/she is in good hands.

I still count the days until my next appointment, and I know exactly how many days pregnant I am because each of them feels like a victory that we've fought long and hard for.  Most of all everyday I thank God for this miracle and pray that his blessing falls on my friends still waiting for their blessing to start growing.  I love these friends dearly and can't wait to hear their good news because it will come!

*Liam's Birth Story* 

November 20, 2010

Would you like to see my Belly? And face?

Hi Peeps & Happy Weekend to you!
I've been meaning to take more belly pictures, because I swear in reality I'm super bloated and starting to show.  Or could that just be the bread sticks I crave day and night, hmm?  Anywho here is my first official belly picture at 10 weeks.  I'm not entirely sure I'll always want my face on here so at some point I may take this photo/post down.  I reserve that right just so you know :)  Oh and p.s. this is my first maternity shirt, from Old Navy sssooo comfy!
Thanksgiving is fast approaching, I hope your plans are coming together nicely and that you have more to be thankful for than your heart can hold! 

November 15, 2010

The Kindest Words

This morning I decided to out V and I on facebook.  I've been thinking about it a lot over the last few days, like what I would say, and how I could incorporate our struggle to get pregnant with our joy and praise to God for our baby. 

Status update: Jen and V are excited to announce, after a long year of trying, they are expecting their first child in June 2011! Praise God for our miracle baby, we can not wait to meet you! ♥

I was, and still am, overwhelmed by the kind words of friends near and far.  My heart swelled as I received notes in my inbox about others who struggled too.  I've felt for a long time God gave us this journey for a reason, that reason was to reach out and make this a less secretive, shameful, lonely journey for others.  While we didn't end up going through fertility treatments, this time, I feel like I can relate more to my friends with fertility issues and struggles than those without.  I plan to do everything I can to keep this door open and the conversation going.

For good measure my 10 week survey:
  • How far along; 10 weeks (day early)
  • Weighty Issues: Still haven't weighed myself, two more weeks and the dr will let me know.
  • Stretch Marks: none yet, I predict that I get them on my boobies first....bye bye body of my youth! LOL!
  • Sleep: good, I love sleep!  On the weekends I get at least 10-11hrs!
  • Best Moment this week: sharing our news on facebook and having so many share kind words <3
  • Movement: none yet, while the babe might be moving about like crazy I won't feel him or her for a while.
  • Food Commentary: it's getting a little better, I've had a few days when I needed to "morning" sickness pills to make it through the day and a few days where I needed zero pills!
  • Labor Signs: God Forbid! it's far far far too early for that business!
  • Belly Button In or Out: So far still in, I get bloated at night and have a pouch under my belly's getting bigger!  I predict I will being "showing" in the next week or two!
  • What I miss:Not much, I'm adjusting to the changes my body needs pretty well (at least today!)
  • What I'm looking forward to: Our next dr appointment!
  • Weekly Wisdom: Ordering maternity clothes online is tricky, make sure you can return them easily!
  • Weekly WTF: None this week.
  • Nesting: Yeah I'm definitely more interested in getting the spare room cleaned up and getting somethings stored away but nothing too crazy.
  • Milestones: When we were first scared about the possibility of a ectopic pregnancy and me bleeding internally 10 weeks seemed a million miles away, today I am SO excited to be 10 weeks, only two more weeks until 2nd trimester!!! 

November 13, 2010

Under Constuction!

Is it crazy that I'm so excited about this?  I guess I need to explain a little first.  V and I rent his Grandfather's house.  Grandpa died about 3 years willing all his earthy possessions into the family.  Unfortunately these items were mostly neglected for the last several years as Grandpa struggled to battle cancer and wouldn't except help maintaining his house, cabin, land and boat.  After he passed V's family found out that 16 of the descendants had equal ownership in all these items.  The house was in such disrepair that no one would live in it, so V stepped up and moved in and started pouring blood, sweat and tears into this house.  Thankfully after we were married and I moved in the family allowed us to keep our below market rent because the house still needs some love.  V's uncle acts as our landlord and takes care of anything we need around the house that we don't feel we should do, he also pays us back for anything we choose to do around the house so we've gotten to put our touch on it.  It's been a fairly nice arrangement.  When uncle J came over today to congratulate us he took a moment to walk around the house and review a few things I would love to see done before the babe comes.  He was more than happy to do them and move up the timeline for a few other items to be completed before the babe is here!!! Yay!!  I'm not sure exactly when everything will start but our little home is going to be under construction soon!!! YAY!!!

November 9, 2010

Week 9 Pregnancy Survey

  • How far along; 9 weeks, 31 to go!! 
  • Weighty Issues: Sorry peeps, I do not (haven't for a while) believe in weighing myself at home.  Skinny does not equal healthy.  I won't know if I've gained or lost until my next appointment in 3.5 weeks. :)
  • Stretch Marks: um way to early for that!
  • Sleep: pretty good for the most part, I get tired easy so on the weekends I try to nap, on the weeknights I try to get to bed earlier. I'm also used to getting up now so I can fall back asleep fairly easy! 
  • Best Moment this week: I told mom-in-law she could tell our pastor (I was too tired to wait to talk to him on Sunday) he sent me the nicest 3 text messages yesterday.  It's neat to see how much our baby is already loved by so many.
  • Movement: none yet, while the babe might be moving about like crazy I won't feel him or her for a while.  
  • Food Commentary: Well the food aversions are decreasing, I'm still taking Zofran daily but it's much easier to eat daily, my tummy is just picky about what it's willing to accept. (cravings: bread sticks and dip,  remaining aversions: cheese GROSS!)
  • Labor Signs: God Forbid! it's far far far too early for that business!
  • Belly Button In or Out: So far still in, I get bloated at night and have a pouch under my belly button but it's not horrible.
  • What I miss: Decongestant, I've been stuffy for a few days, really hoping that I don't get a full on cold! 
  • What I'm looking forward to: we are going to tell some dear friends tomorrow night, they have been praying for us for a long time.
  • Weekly Wisdom: Gosh, do I have any?  Nap when possible, do not fight going to bed early.  In general just listen to your body, it's doing all the work, if it wants to go to bed at 8:30pm do it!
  • Weekly WTF:  WTF Boobies!  You are growing like mad and sorta stiff and the mini-pimples on my upper chest, so not cute!
  • Nesting: nope, I did browse cribs last night.  I'm hoping to get a good deal at Black Friday but decided I should figure out what I like and what they cost (V. says he doesn't care about the style of the crib, we'll see if that is true when I find the one I really like, LOL!) 
  • Milestones: Another week down, I sorta wish them away right now.  That sounds horrible, while I am enjoying my pregnancy now, each day brings growth to my baby and one day closer to him or her being in my arms.  <3

November 8, 2010

Embrassed by my groceries!

Today after work I was feeling pretty darn good so I decided to get some desperately needed groceries.  After about 20 mins gathering items V could make for him self, and would actually eat with no convincing from me I was wiped out but not done.  At some point I looked down to review what all I had selected and I was so embarrassed!  For one thing there was two of everything, two boxes of cereal, two bags of tortilla chips (a staple of my hubby's diet), some pre-seasoned meats, items to make cold sandwiches (for V), two gallons of milk and a small variety of other items. Usually my cart is full of fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains and generally healthier items, but right now between what I can eat and what V will eat it's not so pretty.  Not to mention looking at all the different foods makes me terribly sick and the effort it took was exhausting!  Poor V, gone are the days of you getting out of grocery shopping!

November 3, 2010

A Important Note About Sleep

Note to Self:  If you do not get enough (aka 8+hrs/night) you will feel horribly sick the next day and curse yourself for it.

Yeah you guessed it, last night I stayed up, just being stubborn, even though I was exhausted.  You see I married a night owl who rarely goes to bed before oh 11-12pm, I on the other hand am a morning person who even pre-pregnancy would rather be in bed by 9:30pm at the latest.  Now that I have a babe in my belly I've noticed an increased need for sleep, duh!  Last night I should have gone to bed over and over again, I was getting increasingly grumpy from staying up yet I stayed in the living room with said night owl husband until I literally passed out.  Today I feel like utter poo and will have to cancel hanging out with friends.  It's all my own stupid fault, even more so why would I deprive the belly from the sleep it needs?!?!  Stupid!  I keep trying to get my head around the fact that I just can't go-go-go anymore but apparently it's not working.  Tonight, you betcha I'm in bed long before the night owl even considers it!

P.S. if Homer where wearing a shirt of some sort this is a relatively good representation of what I looked like last night when I finally passed out on the joke!

November 2, 2010

Election 2010

This pretty much sums up my emotions on today, and I love that it's a bib!

I am so over the election coverage, but I always am at the end.  Today I've ignored it in full and it's been bliss!  At the end of the day we all have to realize the best we can do is elect another human being, another imperfect human being who will make mistakes and have successes but still just another human.  :)

November 1, 2010

Breathing and beating

This morning I got up and prepared myself for work, I felt wonderful which made me nervous ("why have my symptoms disappeared today?!?!")  I won't lie to you I had convinced myself we were getting bad news today so everything freaked me out this morning.  I went to work and did my best to stay focus, yeah right, I stared at the clock for a good 5.5 straight hours!

Finally 2pm arrived and V and I were in the waiting room just praying to be called soon.  Thankfully my Dr is a straight to the point kind of guy, I didn't have to weight myself or do anything of that other stuff, just undress from the waist down and wait for the Dr to come in.  V and I sat there in silence, he had a cute smile on his face, I was full of nervous chatter.  Dr Wonderful came in and got straight to business with the ultrasound...... and there (s)he was!!!  We could clearly see the baby and the heart beat flickering away!!! Just one little babe in there with a heart beat of 174!!  Our estimated due date is officially June 14, 2011!!!  That means I am 8 weeks tomorrow!  I am over the moon!  I just kept saying "wow", while V just stared at that screen in total awe!  Something V and I didn't share with anyone is at our last appointment the Dr thought there could be two babes in there (there was one obvious gestational sac and a void that the Dr thought could be a babe just a little earlier).  While V and I would more than happily accept twins I am relieved that we are expecting just one miracle in June.  I just keep taking deep breaths, I'm still so shocked!!
Thank you all for your continued support, it means the world to me!  I promise to try and keep my blog well rounded and entirely baby focused.