Was the first thought that ran through my mind today when I saw a sad face as a status update from a dear friend. I refuse to share all the details because it's not mine to share but her journey breaks my heart. Her and her husband are on a long journey to be parents and today isn't a great day for them.
I spent the morning praying for them every chance I got, I begged God for a miracle on their behalf. Then after seeing her sad face status update I spent the afternoon questioning God. Wondering often out loud why their journey is this way, why any of us have to struggle to have children....then I went on to have an argument with myself about how I know that I'm not supposed to know all the ways and whys of God's will. It was an interesting afternoon in my little pea brain.
I hate infertility, I hate that some have to struggle to have children. I hate that anyone even has to "try" and get pregnant. I hate the loneliness of the struggle. I hate that it ruins friendships. I hate that so many don't understand and don't try and relate to those of us who can't just WHAM BAMB THANK YOU MA'AM and get pregnant. I hate that I can't do anything and don't know why this is happening to my friend.
My heart is heavy for my friend today.