August 7, 2011


What?  Huh? 

This is how I feel a lot of the time now.  I feel like my brain is always in two places.  Often I'm trying to focus on something but in the back of my mind is a running dialog; Is Liam hungry, when did he last eat, I wonder if his diaper is ok, I wish so-and-so would stop bugging him, I want to hold him, he needs a nap.  Or if Liam is at "daycare" I just wonder what he's doing and how he's doing.  No matter where I am, who I'm with this dialog doesn't stop.  I don't mean to be distracted but I am.  I often feel bad, I want to focus fully on who I'm with and what I'm doing but it's difficult.  I do well at work because I know Liam is well taken care of but on Friday V and I went out to dinner and a movie by halfway through the movie I was about to lose it, I wanted to go see my baby!!! 

I wanted children badly, I knew I'd love the baby no matter what...I just didn't know I'd love him this much.  I rush to him after work, knowing full well he's going to sip up on me, I'll have to change poopy diapers and he'll likely get fussy at least once in the night and I'll have no time to myself even though I'm exhausted....and I'm ssssooooo excited to do it every day.  Yeah, I still need a break here and there, but more than an hour and I want to rush back to him again.  I can't help but wonder if I'm the only one that feels like this, feels this constant distraction.  I haven't seen other mommy-bloggers talk about it.  Could it be that I have new momma a.d.d???

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