The Rock & Worship Roadshow 2010

Last weekend my dearest girl friend, E., and I escaped town for a night to catch the "Rock & Worship Roadshow". I was so excited, although neither of us had attended before it couldn't be beat with performances by: Sidewalk Prophets, Remedy Drive, Fee, Family Force Five, Francesca Battistelli, David Crowder Band and Mercy Me....all for $10, yes ten dollars!

So Sunday afternoon E. and I got in the car and headed West for 3 hours to an earlier time zone. The drive over was uneventful, just two close girlfriends chatting away. I must say I do love to get away, perhaps distance really does make the heart grow fonder? We pulled into town and found our hotel, no thanks to google maps! After a short clean up period we headed off to find our venue since neither of us were super familiar with the much larger city we were in. Thank goodness we did! We got lost in the pouring rain for an hour due to very poor google maps directions (you've failed me for the last time google maps!) and ended up having to call E.'s sweet boyfriend (who thankfully knew the area and was in front of a computer!) and he directed us to our venue. You reached a whole new level in my book boyfriend of E.! So E. and I quickly forced some tacos in our tummies, parked and then stood in the rain for about 30 minutes before the concert. At least the crazy long line moved really quickly and after a little mishap at the door, you would think they would tell if it was "cash only" we managed to get in and quickly find seats. The concert was great! All of the bands were wonderful! I'm a big Mercy Me fan and really enjoyed their performance although Bart Millard's voice was going out, poor guy, I was utterly surprised he sang as much as he did! In a close second was Francesca Battistelli, it was my first time seeing her and I thought she was great! After about 3 1/2 hours of great music I purchased a CD and shirt and we headed back to our hotel for some rest.

The next morning E. and I headed back into the city and did a little shopping and much more window shopping. We had a lovely lunch and got caught unexpectedly in a down pour while walking downtown, we just laughed and ran! What else could we do?! It was great fun, each of us purchased a item or two and by late afternoon we decided that our men likely missed us sufficiently and we should head the 3 hours home (and loose an hour via time zone change). Unfortunately the rain came with us, it rained/poured/drizzled the whole way home, fortunately though almost the entire trip was uneventful and we arrived home safe and sound by early evening.

It was a fun little get-a-way which made this week joyfully shorter. I'm thankful for the best friend I have in E. She really makes this world a little easier to live in, she is sweet, kind, honest and gentle with her honesty/views etc, she easily possesses many great qualities and is a catch for anyone she befriends and/or loves. I thank God for her and the gift that she is in my life, I'm surely a better person for knowing her. I hope I am able to return at least some of what she has brought to my life and look forward to a lifelong friendship with her. Much love to you dear E.!

I'll take 75%

I just read a statistic that I had to blog about!

"About 75 percent of couples conceive during the first 6 months [of trying] ." That means V. and I are half way there! Should we get pregnant in June that would mean a blessing from God near our 3rd wedding anniversary! How great would that be! It may be silly to search for information like this but it calms me when worry gets the best of me and gives me something to look forward to and remember I'm going to only look forward! :)

All my life I've wanted a winter pregnancy/birth (ideally birth in February). I have no idea why but ever since I've wanted children that has stood out to me as being the "perfect" time. You know when you are really ready to be a mother when you are totally willing to be nine months pregnant in July if it meant a baby in your arms. I reached the point recently! I could not careless when we get pregnant or when our child is born (nor it's gender for that matter), I am just ready for it all to start!!! It's a really peaceful place to be, I like it here. :)

So with that I am remaining steady in the faith that God will provide us with the baby V. and I so desire in his perfect time....and not a moment sooner!

lastly: I went to look for the exact link but couldn't find it. If you are interest check out: www.pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com

Oh Grandma-in-law.....Sigh

V. and I spend a fair amount of time with his family and I do love them. I'm glad that my child will be raised around them but sometimes I wish there was more distance between us.

This last weekend we went to V.'s paternal Grandparents house for some be-lated corned beef and cabbage. It was a lovely time of chatting, eating and more chatting. After dinner was all cleaned up the ladies wanted to play some games. Let it be known I'm not a big fan of games, I'm not sure why I just don't love them. I got roped in this time though. I kept yawning out of sheer boredom, while I love them, all the ladies were at least 30 years older than I. Grandma-in-law noticed and says to me "You sure are tired, any specific reason?!?!" I was not happy, and replied in a fairly cold manner "Nope." I understand that they want us to have kids because they love us and whatnot but really, stop asking! It just solidifies how glad I am that our journey is private, at least for now. I can only imagine how often they would ask if they only knew we were actually attempting to have a child *cringe*

Hopefully we never have to tell them we are "trying" and we can just announce our pregnancy. And no Grandma-in-law you will NOT have to ask me if I am indeed pregnant I promise you, we will happily tell you. (In case you are wondering yes they already have other great-grandchildren, many of them).

3-15-10

Our anniversary celebration was amazing!!!! Best of all V. planned it all by himself! I was a little worried that he hadn't planned much but decided to hope for the best. I love V. but he is not the worlds most romantic man. I must admit it was really nice to not have to worry about the details of everything and to just be able to sit back for a while.
We left early afternoon of Saturday and drove for a few hours, landing in a beautiful little mountain community. Little did I know V. had booked us a room at the fancy resort there with valet parking and all!!! We strolled by several gift shops and through the huge lobby to check in. I felt a little out of place but was still a grinning fool! Unfortunately the check in girl ruined V.'s surprise dinner plans for the first night, she was sweet just gushing about how much she liked the restaurant we had reservations for. She even said "happy anniversary"!! We made our way to the 11Th floor and our beautiful room, oh yeah they up graded us to a room with a view and fireplace! We settled in and I noticed flowers!!! (I had made the mistake about 4 years ago telling V. I didn't like flowers, which at the time I didn't because of my ex. So V. refused to buy me flowers until now....) It was a gorgeous bouquet of assorted flowers (roses, Gerber daisies, tulips, Lilly's etc).
It was a wonderful relaxing weekend, we explored the little shops, slept in, drove around and had that fancy dinner which was still wonderful! V. even allowed a few photos, are rare treat!
The next couple days went far too quickly but were well enjoyed. Before we knew it we were back in the car to make the several hour trip home. I'm pretty sure I am still grinning! I'm a lucky girl who is really looking forward to marriage year #3!

Getting to Know Me.

I thought this might be fun, here goes (feel free to steal).

1. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Hit snooze ;)

2. What is your favorite cereal?
Vinilla & Almond Special K


3. Would you rather marry a millionaire who is unfaithful or a middle class worker who only has eyes for you?
The latter, definitely....I could not, would not, will not deal with a cheater!

4. Would you rather have a job that requires strength of the body or the mind?
My dream career will require both....still working on that.


5. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
I think I was about 10 or 11 maybe, too young


6. If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would be the first thing you'd do?
Pee standing up :)


7. What is the scariest thing that has ever happened in your life?
That is actually a hard one, I've been through some rough things.....I honestly can't say.


8. Would you ever consider plastic surgery?
I can't say no 100% because if I got cancer and needed it I would consider it.


9. What skill do you feel is stronger: your math skills or your English skills?
I can write better than I can do math (I just need spell check).


10. Who did you vote for in the last presidential election?
Woah! I don't talk about politics with my closest friends let alone here! I will say I do vote.


11. Do you consider yourself more of a liberal or a conservative?
I'm pretty conservative.


12. If you could spend a day in another person's body, living their life, who would it be and why?
I'd love to be my husband for a day, to see things from his perspective.


13. If you had to choose, would you rather be blind or deaf?
Deaf.


14. Who is the one person who can always make you laugh?
V., hands down.


15. If you and a member of the opposite sex were the last people on Earth, but they looked like Cruella Deville and Mister Ed had a baby, would you procreate?
Honestly probably not, creating a human is crazy intimate.


16. What are you passionate about?
A lot of things, health, love, faith, being married, being a parent.


17. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?
Very Very Very Very Very Very pro-life.


18. Imagine you're an inmate waiting on death row. What would you request for your last meal?
I have no idea. Probably something really fatty since it wouldn't matter.


19. What is the one trait that is mandatory in a potential partner? I'm already married to my soul mate.
I guess I would have to say our faith is a deal breaker, that is the main one although there are a few others.


20. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
I see myself still happily married with at least one kid, working on our house (that we own), running my personal training business and living simply.

Sweet Dreams

I had the most wonderful dream last night! It was so real, I was pretty sad when I woke up. I'll share the whole story with you!

In my dream I was really sick and went to the ER to discover I was in labor, I did not look pregnant at all! (Mind you in real life I'm a fit, 135lbs-ish & 5'7.) Anyway, the doctor proceeds to tell me she is taking my baby away because I am unfit since I didn't know I was pregnant. I explain to her I am in the .05% of women who pee tests don't work for and I didn't know but I lead a very health lifestyle and I'm happily married, so she lets me keep the baby and labor continues. V. is often in the background in utter shock and at some point one of his aunts makes an appearance, odd. A little bit later I give birth to this beautiful little boy, he's tiny with lots of dark hair & totally healthy. I'm wearing my grey robe I wear at home so I open it to allow him to lay right on my chest. He's so prefect, V. stands next to me excited but still in shock. I actually remember thinking, "it's April so we got pregnant in July-we weren't even trying yet!" I was so filled with total joy but a little overwhelmed because we only had a girl name picked out, we just kept calling him "our blessing".

What a wonderful dream, I hope it's a preview of what is yet to come for V. and I! Maybe I'll start looking at boy names online! I loved that little boy so completely, it was such an amazing feeling! My heart is still warm and hopeful from it.

Looking Forward and Forward only

I will only look forward, emotionally at least. This month V. and I will celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary! I can hardly believe it's been that long, it feels much longer but only in the nicest of ways. He's been so intertwined in my life for so long I hardly remember what it was like before him. I love him so much, I'm so happy to grow with him and experience this journey together! I feel so lucky!

When I met V. I was 22, next month I will be 27! It's hard to believe! I'm not one of those people who freaks out over my age, after all there is no way to change it so why fret? Seriously, freaking out and acting immature will make me no younger, if anything that stress may make me appear older LOL! I'm happy where I am in my life and very much looking forward to all the journey of life has in store for V. and I.

Also next month V. and I are taking a trip, a all expense paid trip that I won through my work. I may not have the most glamorous of jobs but it pays the bills, I work hard and clearly I'm appreciated by my colleagues. I can't wait for this trip! It will be the first time V. and I have flown together, we'll get to stay somewhere beautiful, experience fun activities and relax all expense paid for about 5 days!!!

Last but not least we are both healthy, and able to enjoy an active life together. I'm so thankful, so very VERY thankful for that blessing. I know my poor hubby lives with what I can only described as chronic pain and I can not even begin to imagine what that is like....but we are still able to go about our lives fairly normally. We know so many people who are seriously ill, who have children who are seriously ill or struggle with issues that break my heart. And death, I experienced my first real loss last year. I don't wish that on anyone ever, in any way, death is beyond hard to deal with and just when you think you are ok it slaps you again.

So I will only look forward! I will spend my days accepting where I (we) have been and looking to the future to embrace what is next. I will not worry about yesterday and the bumpy road behind me (us). Yesterday is unalterable and thus should nay must be left in the rear view mirror. I will be thankful and joyful for today and all that we have to look forward to in the journey still ahead.

Blissfully Hopeful

Last night I was writing in my personal journal, the old school kind with paper and pen, and I was just blissfully hopeful. Not necessarily about this cycle exactly, but in general about our baby making journey. We have placed this whole thing in the capable hands of the Lord and left it there, waiting on his will and that feels....peaceful. I still feel that way but last night it was so very strong, my heart was warm and I felt very at peace. It felt so nice, I pray that I can feel that way more often and perhaps even consistently during this journey. I take that back, I know I will learn so much from this journey, I'll take whatever emotions it hands me. :)

Other than the recent ah...discussion...on telling the in-laws about our trying to conceive journey V. has been super sweet! It's cute to watch him grow more and more excited about this. It was clear that when we began this journey I was more excited and that was ok with me because I knew he would catch up and he has. I love him, and love being on this journey with him. Now we are just walking a long, waiting to arrive at mile marker "pregnant". I can't wait, he'll be an amazing daddy!

Valuable Lessons About Our Dishwasher

Recently learned by my husband, V.!

Yesterday I was at the gym after work, as I'm pulling away I see I have a voicemail so I check it (not illegal in my state to do this!). It's the V., he wants me to pick up dish soap for the dishwasher. I think to myself "nope, I already did your chore. And I still have to go home and make dinner, it can wait." Flash forward to my arrival at home, literally 5 mins later (clearly we don't live in the more metropolitan of places, LOL). I see the dish washer is running but assume we had just enough dish soap for one more load, yay! I talk to V. concerning what he would like for dinner (I had two items in mind so I thought he could pick). So I start making dinner and he asks if I got his voicemail, I said "yeah, but I didn't pick any up. I see we had enough for just one load though, yay!" V. "nope I used the other stuff" me "aaahhh like what?" V. "the kind you use in the sink." I glance at dishwasher and bubbles are seeping from the sides "ACK!!!" V. comes running in "what? what! what?" I point to the dishwasher and say (lovingly...sorta) "Honey!?! WHY in the WORLD would you do that???" Husband opens and bubbles go everywhere!!!! Our dog LOVED it, I did not. I was so upset. V. kept pushing buttons, finally I convinced him to scoop out as much of the bubbles as possible and run it through rinse a few times. He was not thrilled that A.) I knew sink soap would do this B.) I understood the right way to end this C.) I was mad he may have ruined our nice dishwasher (did I mention we rent our home?) Eventually the bubbles stopped and V. vowed to never do that again....and dinner was really yummy (yay me!).
Looking back some 20 some hours later it's funny, then not so much. I think (hope, pray) the dishwasher is none worse for the wear of this situation.

Does Secret = Lying ???

My dear V. has decided that by keeping our at temps to start our family a secret from his family that we are lying to them. What?!? I was totally caught off guard!

The Story: Saturday night we went to church and sat with his parents, whom I honestly love dearly-they are an amazing example of many things I hope to be. After church mother-in-law wants us all to go to desert, despite that A.) I'm trying to eat better and B.) It's 9pm we agree because it sounds fun. We go to a local chain we all love and have lovely conversation with in-laws and their friends. How fun! On the ride home I jokingly tell V. "I thought about telling father-in-law he was trying to buy grand-babies from us!" (they never allow us to pay when we go out). V. however, does NOT find this funny, he is clearly upset, in a sad way (not angry). Thus begins a conversation about how he feels that his family is beginning to make assumptions that we do not want children, specifically one of us.....V. I tell him that I do not believe this is true. He is convinced and tells me he is tried of lying to them. I'm confused and caught very off guard. V. says "I'm old and we've been married two years, they expect children." I was offended, V. is NOT old!!! And frankly I don't really care who expects what out of my marriage but really it's NO ONES business what we do and when. This is the only thing I hate about the Church Culture-they want you to get married quick and young and start having babies. I don't think anyone should pressure you into these big steps in your life, consult God and live your life!

I was so caught off guard that I dropped V. off and returned our DVDs we had rented, I really just needed a moment completely alone to think about how I really felt and pray about it.

I do not believe we are lying, I don't want to tell anyone the deep details of any part of OUR marriage, our budget, goals etc is OUR business and no one else! Despite the fact that I have told the in-laws numerous times that it likely won't be easy for us to have babies they seem convinced it will be. Maybe they are just trying to be supportive but I'm more of a reality kind of girl, don't get me wrong I have faith and a lot of hope but I am not one to sugar coat things at all.

I'm confused and conflicted on so many levels. Let's list some pros and cons!

CONS:
1. I don't want anyone, other than the ones we've entrusted so far to know
2. I am not comfortable being questioned monthly, weekly, daily if I am pregnant (or about my period and/or sex life...eu!)
3. I do not want anyone to be diagnosing my stomach ache, head ache, zit etc as pregnancy symptoms...I do that enough already
4. If it does take us some time I want that to be a journey we go on together not with a million people watching and commenting
5. I would rather surprise in-laws with the good news on our time (hopefully when I am about 8-10 weeks)
6. In-laws will likely be so excited and tell too many people (I don't even want V's siblings to know as they are well....immature)
7. Overall I'm just too private of a person to go through this with the world watching (that is how it feels)


PROS:
1. We will have others to support us and pray for us
2. Some of the advice could be helpful
3. Maybe it will be hard and take us a long time and we'll be thankful for it later
4. I got nothin'


I'm going to talk to V. more about this as I am umcomfortable. I understand that he only sees this through his eyes but I am the one who will be being questioned, not him. No one ever asks the man "why are you pregnant yet, do you think something is wrong with you and maybe you can't?" I just don't think he's taken into consideration the full weight of what this means for me. At very least I hope we can continue trying (in secret) for a few more months. Pray for me will ya?