May 31, 2012

Desiring Disconnection

I am no relationship expert.  Shocking? Nope.  I've been on my own since I was 16 years old, my "childhood"  was dysfunctional at best.  Sometimes managing relationships is exhausting to me.  Not all the time and not all relationships, my favorites are the one that just seem to work (like my bestie, E.)

I find the most challenging to be those of "family", specifically V's family.  I have no personal experience to compare them to and while I love them dearly they can be utterly exhausting.  Sometimes I just want to disconnect from it.  I just want a break, I don't want to have to work so hard to manage these relationships.  No I'm not going to throw my hands and walk off into the sunset with V and Liam (although sometimes I do daydream of it).  I just find it so challenging sometimes, I mean I have my mother-in-law on my facebook, cell phone, work and personal email.  There is no breathing room!  Oh yeah did I ever mention that V's family owns our home! (we rent from them) Essentially everyone has a key to our house, they are good about not just coming over (that wasn't always the case).  I just feel like they are a little too interlaced in every aspect of my being.  I need room people!

Am I just being hormonal, am I the only one that goes through this? Is it just me?  (someone say no!)

Much Love-

May 25, 2012


via pinterest

Happy Long Weekend & Much Love! -Jen

May 24, 2012

Running Stuff I Love

Every once in a while I ramble about stuff I'm loving, it's just a nice way to do a fluffy post.  This afternoon one of my female co-workers and I went on a run over our lunch and I got to thinking about the running item I've invested in and thus invested in my health.

Without further ado; Running Stuff I Love (in no particular order)

  1. New Balance Watch & Heart Rate Monitor!  The hubby got this for me last Christmas (upon my request) and I love it.  If you click the link it leads you to amazon where it's cheaper than we purchased at Target, still worth the investment.  You can track your heart rate, calories burned and it's helped me track my time. I thought the band would be uncomfortable but I don't even notice it.
  2. Nathan Sprint Handheld Bottle Carrier! Or as I call it; a water bottle.  You can't carry much in this but it has adjustable Velcro so it doesn't feel like you are carrying anything.  Worth every penny!
  3. Life is Good Hat! Mine is actually a different style and super old but I find a hat necessary.  This one sure is pretty and the brand is great quality.
  4. Danskin Running Capris.  To be honest I bought these out of necessity.  If you run enough cotton will wear out in areas it rubs, take a moment to think about that.  I wouldn't normally chose these pants because they showcase everything (every-little-thing) but they are light and comfortable.  Also they are half the price of this link at wally world.
  5. I Pod Shuffle.  Need I say more?  Mine is really old and sadly on it's last leg but I keep bringing 'er back to life.  We've logged so many miles together!
  6. Sports Bra.  More specifically a padded one, the boobies will never be the same after my pregnancy/nursing.  It's half vanity.
  7.  (no image above).  This helped me loose the extra baby weight, I'm now officially ~15  pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight, and I have been for months.  I'm super proud of myself for getting it off and keeping it off.  I'm pretty much in the best shape of my life.

What exercise items do you love?
Much Love,

May 23, 2012

On Reality Checks

from google images

God hands me little reality checks, and I need them.  Lately I've gotten a series of them, gently reminding me that things could be much worse and to be thankful for what I have.  I don't know about you but I never get one little reality check at a time, it seems when it rains it pours.

Sometimes I feel like I'm standing still just observing my life and so many around me are going through something so difficult and I'm helpless.  I stand there with a heavy heart, empty hands that are clinched in prayer yet I feel so helpless.  Parents are struggling with their children's illnesses (cancer) while trying to manager their own (cancer).  Marriages are failing apart, two of my co-workers are in the middle of nasty divorces as is a close friend.  I could go on and on, my heart breaks for friends/co-workers etc.

I don't consider where I am in my life perfect but I have so much to be thankful for....and it's time to be mindfully thankful each day.

Today I am thankful for my son's health and my God's grace.

2 Corinthians 12:9
“My grace is sufficient for you."

Much Love,

May 22, 2012

More Milestones Coming

I can hardly believe I'm about to type this but I had to book Liam's first hair cut.  The boy was born with hair, not a ton but it's gotten long and very curly!  No matter what I do he looks super disheveled at the end of each day, and I'm worried that sooner or later people will ask me if I have a little girl, so hair cut time it is.  I'm going to cry for sure, I teared up just making the appointment.

This Saturday Liam will have his first hair cut, then on Sunday we are having his One Year pictures taken (along with some family ones). It seems like just yesterday I was having his new born pictures taken!  I can hardly believe that this time last year I was full term, super swollen and just waiting for my miracle baby to be in my arms.  My heart overflows.

Much Love,

May 16, 2012

On Running/Marathon Training

13.1 Necklace,  Domino Tile Necklace ETSY
necklace here (etsy)

To be specific half marathon training.  So far so good!  I have worked my way up to 6 miles at a time, my all time best!  I am not fast by most people's standards, however considering I've had asthma for 20 years and had a baby 11 months ago I'll take it!  I average somewhere around 11-12 minute/mile, I can push myself to do a 10 minute/mile but it's a challenge and often have to walk after a few miles but I love it regardless.  It's fair to say I'm addicted to running, absolutely happily addicted.  It helps that I live in a beautiful city with a variety of places to run including a wonderful path that twists and turns along the river which is my very favorite to run.  I can literally step out of my office, do 3-4 miles along the river and be back in 40-50 minutes. I can leave our home and run through our downtown (about ~3.5 miles) and get home in the same amount of time.

My body is changing as a result of my new hobby too!  My legs a tone and my tummy is much less jiggly that last summer (thank God!).  I can feel my lungs getting stronger and see obvious growth in my endurance with each run.  Not to mention the clarity it brings me, during my runs I set my mind free to run where ever she pleases.....sometimes that is no where at all, there is a rare silence about my mind which is a breath of fresh air.  During my runs I feel much more like Jen and less like Bosslady's assistant/V's wife/Liam's mom...which is not to say that these titles aren't important but it's nice to just be Jen for a bit.

Last week I officially registered for my first [half] marathon, not cheap at $60 but well worth it to me!  I get a little sweaty and nervous when I think about doing 13.1 miles all at once but then I get crazy excited.....I'm on my way to checking it off my bucket list!

Much Love,

May 10, 2012

1st Year Products We Loved Pt 1

This is part one because I know myself, I'll remember something I LOVE tomorrow! LOL!

I've been meaning to do one of these posts and with so many expectant moms out there right now I thought it would be fun.  In no specific order.......

Fisher Price Space Saver Highchair The name about says it all!  I started using this at about 5 months when Liam was clearly interested in food, we never looked back.  These days Liam hardly takes a bottle so he and the Space Saver are very close.  The seat reclines if you wanted to give a small baby a bottle and not hold them (which is odd but each to their own), the tray comes off easy and the straps/cover come off easy to wash.  You would have no idea my kid has had so much pasta and noodles, ours still looks brand new!

Playtex Bottles & Liners;  I was only able to breast feed Liam  until 3 months, then he ate through my stash until he was just shy of 5 months.  I'm not the most green momma around but it saved my sanity to not wash bottles all the time.


 Dr Oz's "You Raising Your Child" by far my favorite parenting book, but I'm also a huge Dr Oz fan.  I read his "You having a Baby" while pregnant and really liked it as well.

3 Things for your Baby "Medicine Cabinet":
1. Tooth Brush & Tooth Paste...Liam loves having his teeth brushed, I think because we would brush his gums once and a while before he had teeth!
2. Gas Drops....You will need them and you will be thankful you have them, trust me!
3. Saline Drops....We've only needed these twice, Liam gets these yucky drippy nose issues when teething and without the drops he can't breathe well at night and does sleep.

Aveeno: Liam has a little sensitive skin, he really loves this lotion....I may like it a little too!
Baby Trend Jogging Stroller: By far my favorite FAVORITE item EVER!  Our Baby Trend Jogging Stroller!! My dearest friend's mom gave this to me at my baby shower, I was shocked!  Liam and I have put countless miles on it already!  By the end of this summer it may need new tires!!
Lastly our Temperature Turtle!  Being a first time mom I was always unsure about the water, no guessing with this guy!  He just recently passed on and I'm confident in my bath-running skills to not need a new one....he sure is cute though!

Any momma's (or momma's-to-be) care to share what you loved?

Much Love,

May 8, 2012

A Place in the Sunshine

Summer has finally arrived in my little corner of the world, and I couldn't be happier!  Technically speaking it's still Spring and it will undoubtedly still rain several times but that is a-okay!

I'm lucky enough to sit right by a big window that has a lovely view of a running/walking path (our office is somewhat in a residential area near downtown).  This path always has people on it, people walking babies or dogs (or both), people running and riding's so enjoyable!  Although I must admit it's done nothing for my motivation today! All I want is to pick up my baby and our jogging stroller and hit up that path!  We can't today but we will soon!
Something along these lines, thanks Google Images.

While I sit at my desk completing my tasks I keep glancing at that path, daydreaming of summer and the extra time I will be scheduling with Liam!  I can't wait to take half and full days off and walk to the parks with water features, nap on a lazy afternoon and play in the yard until we have glass-stained knees!

For now I'll have to settle for wishing away the rest of the day, perhaps bosslady will let me out of here early since I worked so much overtime last week, one can hope!

Much Love,

May 7, 2012

Would You Parent Differently?

I've heard this question asked of older generations, the whole "in retrospect" concept but that isn't exactly what I'm talking about here (although I gladly invite any advice etc).

What I'm focused on is this; If you knew the baby in your arms would be your only, would you parent him/her differently?  As the reality that Liam will be our only child finds rest in my soul I think about this question/topic often.  Knowing he'll be my only child and these days are fleeting I am so much more willing to snuggle him extra at bedtime, play longer in the tub etc.  I'm beyond grateful that I got to have one amazing baby, he defines Miracle Baby.

Some days are easier than others, I feel like this decision was taken from me due to my autoimmune disease but it's the smart thing to do, it's my reality and there isn't much that will change it.  I'm not saying I'm a better parent but I do think this perspective makes me more patient with Liam, I lavish my love on him even when I'm tired and would love some time to myself, I look closely at him with an intentional smile trying to soak up every single moment and store it in my soul.  I intentionally seek extra time with him, I schedule anything I can when he's napping (on the weekends) or asleep for the night (during the week).  Daily I promise him that no matter what I will be there for him, I will love him and support him. 

It's a hard thing to know; that regardless of whether or not you could have more shouldn't.  (I started to go into the details of why we have chosen to not have more children and it got a bit too emotional for me.  The facts are I have one amazing miracle baby that means the world to me, I have more than I could ever ask for and I am grateful.)

Much Love,

Edit to include: I kinda lost my train of thought last night....So what I was getting at is, if you knew that baby/child in your arms would be your one and only, do you think you would do anything differently?  I'd love to hear feedback!

May 5, 2012

Motion Sickness

I have never actually been motion sick however with the rate at which life is moving I'm starting to think I might!

I feel like every time I turn around another day/week/month has come and gone!  This week I had to travel out of town over night for the first time since Liam was born.  Ek!  Not only that I was gone TWO nights.  I know for some that might now be a big deal but for me it was.  I attended and presented at my regions annual meeting.  Thankfully it was so insanely busy the days flew by despite being 12-14+ hour days, by the time I got to my room each night I literally fell into the bed and asleep....seriously it was a struggle to undress myself and take off my make up! 

Back on the home-front, V was rocking it single-dad style.  I won't lie to you I was nervous.  Like most moms (working or not) I think of and take care of 95% of Liam's needs.  I did a lot of prep for V but the execution was all on him....and he did great!  Unfortunately Liam developed a cold while I was gone which meant he slept worse than usual (he typically wakes up once per night, while I was gone it was 3-4 times minimum).  I may sound like a bad wife here but I have to say a part of me really looked forward to this time away....not the part of being away from Liam but the part where V would gain a deep understanding of all I do every single day.  Boy did he ever! 

I don't want to give the impression that V isn't a good Dad because he is a very good one, however I do far more than him everyday.  Just by the sheer natural of our working hours and jobs I take Liam to daycare and pick him up, before V even gets home I have fed Liam and started our dinner (I don't always cook, I will admit that).  Essentially I spend an extra hour a day just taking Liam to and from daycare.  Once V is home he needs to shower, often Liam needs a know, all the normal things.  V typically puts Liam to bed and I read to him.  But I digress, V got a real hands on understanding of all I do and is very appreciative. :)

Hopefully I won't have to make too many over night trips in the near future, being away from my little guy was hard....I have so enjoyed all the extra snuggle time! :)  Next up are Liam's One Year Pictures, then his First Birthday......(he'll be 11 months next week!)...please time slow down!

Much Love,