August 4, 2010


Life is a journey, no new news there, right? But we must also remember that we are not promised a tomorrow either. If you know anything about me at all by now it is that I am a planner, I day dream about the future more than I spend living in the moment. Recently this has started to feel like a mistake, or error that I want to work on correcting.

I took a moment to look around me, emotionally speaking, last night. It's been a rough week; my boss was let go/resigned suddenly and a whirlwind ensued at my (soon to be former) employer. Don't get me wrong he was absolutely right to leave it was just everything this company does, which is why I am leaving, anyway....then I find out that not one but two of my friends are pregnant, neither married and one doesn't know who the daddy is. In fact her baby is a result of being "baby crazy". It feels so unfair and yes some tears fell, a few times. Don't miss read me here, I do not believe that you HAVE to be married to have babies but I do consider it ideal for babies (and children in general) to be raised by two loving parents that are married, and yes I understand that often times the two parents are happy and it is better for the children when the parents aren't married. I'm not close-minded but I still think marriage is best. ANYWAY. I'm hurting and still a bit lost in this maze of emotions. Here I am at cycle day 36 (I think) wondering if I even ovulated and some how these two intelligent women manage to "accidentally" get knocked up (I say "accidentally" because God does not make mistakes).

What I am trying to say is I took stock of my current life, emotionally the other day and realized I'm spending a bit too much time planning the future and not enough hanging out here where things are pretty darn good. V is amazing, not perfect but heck neither am I (far from it really). I have a new job that I can't wait to start, bills are paid, roof is over our head. While there is plenty we don't have we certainly don't go without. I have a savior that willing died for me. Guess I'm trying to talk myself out of a funk.....we're getting there, I can see that there is much more road ahead and I'm glad...this is going to be a great journey, full of more ups and downs but I'm excited, I mean why not? Life is too short to be unhappy! Just something to ponder I guess.

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