April 28, 2010

What? What! What?!?!!? (raw)

Well that didn't go as expected!

I went to the dr office and saw the nurse who had me pee in a cup, I asked why I wasn't being given the blood test she seemed to insist on the day before and was told if the pee test was negative I would be given a blood test. Alright. And then pee test was in fact negative, just like I knew it would be. So my dr. and nurse decide that we aren't going to do the blood test at all. I was confused but thought "ok." Until I heard the following "we want to you wait another 4 weeks and if nothing happens call us" [insert WTF!?!?! going though my mind] nurse continues "and at that time we'll have you abstain from sex for 3 weeks and then we will test you again, if you still aren't pregnant we will give you a pill to start your period." [insert WTF!?!?! look on my face] I lost it and started to cry. That would be 4 months with no period, that can not be healthy!!! This whole process is so confusing and frustrating. And what bugs me most is they could have told me to take a home pee test and told me that info over the phone but instead I had to come in and pay GRR!
Just the day before I was lead to believe they wanted to run tests and find out what is going on and develop a plan. This does not feel like a plan this feels like I am standing still, left wondering. I feel like a sad little turtle, I feel stuck!! I did ok until my dr. made this comment "you ARE thin!" No I am NOT! I am healthy, I am 5'7 and 147 lbs, my BMI (body mass index) is well within the healthy and fit range!!!!!!! I work out moderately a few times a week and eat well I am NOT thin, she made me feel unhealthy and I did not like that one bit! I returned home and plopped back on the sofa to watch the news until V. returned home. I told him what I learned and wept a little. V. has more faith in this whole "wait and see" plan than I but I’m trying my best to hope that something can happen in the next 4 weeks, I really don’t want to abstain for 3 weeks!! V. really wants to give it a try, to spend the next 4 weeks really relaxing and see what happens.
I don't want to run to another dr because I don't think my dr is doing what I want her to do, I want to have full trust in her, I do like her but something feels wrong. I really feel like my body isn't doing what it needs to. I guess I’m willing to give this whole "wait and see" thing a go, HOWEVER, should the 7 weeks pass and they give me a pill to start my period and want to do this whole merry-go-round again I’m OUT of there!

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