January 15, 2010

My Vows.

I, me, take you, V. to be my husband.
I pledge to share my life truthfully and openly with you.
I promise, furthermore to love, honor, obey and tenderly care for you in all circumstances of life-until through death we part.
I promise to give myself to you alone and encourage your own growth.
I will strive to seek GOD’s enrichment and blessing for our life together.
I will always hold sacred the commitment I make today-this is my solemn vow.

These are my vows, I said them to V. almost 2 years ago. I mean them more and more with everyday that we are married. I think of our vows very often, but espeically when we fight. Because I said "I promise to love, honor, obey and tenderly care for you, in ALL circumstances of life-until through death we part". And I take that very seriously. I didn't say I would love V. only when it was easy or only until it wasn't fun anymore, but is ALL circumstances. Most of the time it is both easy and fun, but I am sure V. would agree we are both strong, stubborn people-and not always the easiest to love all the time. I'm sure I am stating the obvious here but marriage is work too, it takes effort, trust, dedication, communitation and love.

Our wedding verse, like ten million other couples was:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I also reflect on this often, again especially when we fight. "Love is not rude, love is not easily angered, it holds no record of wrong doings....love never fails."

When V. and I do fight, which is not often but it happens, I tend either shut down or find someplace else to go. I am not running away from anything but I have a strick policy of not saying things out of anger. When you say hurtful things, even when you don't mean them they still hurt the other person. I believe in forgive and forget but I know how hard it is to forget when someone really hurts your feelings. So I have lived by this "do not speak out of anger" policy for many years, not to say I haven't broken it and said something stupid since then but I work hard not to. It's really important to me to be able to review my feelings and to keep my emotions in check instead of letting a heated discussion get out of hand and hurting someone I care deeply for. Anger is such a waste of energy. So like I said I often leave the house when V. and I fight to clear my head, I promise you I don't get more than a block or two away before that verse and my vows pop back into my head. "love is patient, love is kind, love holds no record of wrong doing, love is not easily angered", and "I promise to tenderly care for you in all circumstances of life". That is when I pick up the phone and at least say "I may be mad but I love you, I'll be home in a little bit." And most of the time just thinking about my vows and our verse will be enough to calm me down and I return home to calmly discuss what need to be.

I love my husband greatly, and I've been in enough severly unhealthy relationships to know the quality of man I have. But we are both still human, so I guess my point it, this is what helps me get through the rough moments and arguements. <3

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