Countdown

Yesterday we had another appointment with the developer of the subdivision our home will be built in.  V and I both expected this to be a "pick out your finishes" appointment.  Not so much, we reviewed the blueprints (again), asked for one small change that won't affect the blueprints really and basically gave our approval.  Ugh.  Two weeks wasted.  You see the developer didn't put in a request for our permits yet, he'll do that now and it will be 2-4 (or more) weeks before they break ground.  As it pours rain right now.  It's a miracle it hasn't snowed yet and there is no frost to break so I'm anxious (to say the least) for them to break ground.  So far this *shouldn't* effect our move in date which is now a firm March 29th 2013.

I know this process is going be a big test in patience for me but right in this very moment it's just adding to the enormous amount of stress I'm already under. For the last week I've been right on the verge of throwing up.  I would love nothing more than a long hot bath right now, something that is not an option in our current home.  I'm counting the days until I can at least start packing and truly day dreaming of settling into our forever home.

The countdown is on, even if I spend more than a few days stuck at some numbers.

Much Love,
Jen

Happy Things

Today I'm forcing a smile, I can't lie....I'm under a ton of stress right now.  I'm doing my best to manage it but I need a break real soon.  In an effort to make it through I'm focusing on happy things.

Without further ado:

-Liam, enough said?  He's growing up so fast.  He's so fun and funny.  This weekend we went to a local sporting goods store and just looked around.  I put him down and let him walk around and he had the best time!  He also had his first sucker recently, the kid was in heaven!  Ah the simply joys.

-V and I are doing great especially considering all we have going on.  That alone is pretty darn awesome.

-My MIL & FIL agreed to watch Liam in May while V and I get away for a few days to celebrate our 5th Wedding anniversary/ My 30th Birthday  AND I'm going to do another Half Marathon!!!

-Speaking of my second Half Marathon I can not wait!  I have already scheduled the time off work, I still need to register (I'm waiting because if I register on 12/13 I get $13 off, it's a promo), and book our hotel which I'll probably do tonight.  It's such a blessing to have something so positive to focus on right now.

-While no progress has been made our house (they haven't even started digging our basement, boo!) we do get to pick our our finishes tomorrow night.

-I've been wearing my hair back in a ponytail a lot lately which is very unlike me (my hair is almost always straightened and down).  The thing is I'm starting to really like the ease of having my hair back and I'm finding simple ways to make it feel not too frumpy.  (and the extra 20 mins sleep is nice!)

-I've been getting into this new class: BodyCombat...it's a bit crazy but I love it.  I go once per week in the morning (5am) and on Saturdays when I can.  The "me" time is amazing, I can't wait for another class!

-I bought myself a new pair of jeans and running shoes.  I got great deals so I splurged on myself (both were less than $70 which is less than the retail of the jeans alone!).  I rarely do things like that for myself and since we're building our house I won't be doing it again any time soon.

-When you google "happy things" this pic comes up, adorable!!!

Whew, that actually worked!  Thank goodness! I hope each of you are having a wonderful day/week!!

Much Love,

Jen

ThankFUL

This week has been a little crazy, V's uncle was admitted to one of the local hospitals on Tuesday night after having a "mild" heart attack.  Long story short they found two semi-blocked arteries that required three stints.  Stress-full.  This uncle is by far both of our favorites, he's always positive, always encouraging, always nice.  I'm thankful to say he was discharged from the hospital today, just in time to enjoy some family time on Thanksgiving.

I consider myself a fairly thankful person, I had a pretty horrible childhood so I know what I have and I know to appreciate it.  But the last two weeks have made me even more thankful.  While V and I certainly aren't perfect we do love each other and work really hard at our marriage.  I have the most amazing little boy in the whole world who is healthy, a blessing I don't take lightly.  I could go on and on but I'll stop and just say I have a full heart that leaves me thankFUL this Thanksgiving.

I hope all of you have had a wonderful Thanksgiving surrounded by people that leave you feeling loved and thankful.

Much Love,
Jen

The Difference Between Men & Women

Last night as our little family was eating dinner V says "I have something to talk to you about".  When he prefaces things this way it's not usually a great thing (for me anyway, it usually has something to do with him playing more video games or hunting/fishing more).  I have to admit I gave him the side eye before asking him to go on.

Since officially signing on to build our first ever home we've been thinking and planning much more into the future than usual.  Currently we're scheduled to move into our home two weeks after our 5th wedding anniversary, which is also two weeks before my 30th birthday and just less than 6 weeks before a half marathon I'm hoping to do out of state.....the timing is interesting.  It feels like we have a lot of balls in the air (hehe I just got a horrible mental picture, not those kind of balls!!!!)

With all that said V and I have been talking about our paid time off schedules, both of us accumulate a good amount each year but both of our employers have a "use it or lose it" policy.  I have carefully scheduled the hours I am required to use and I will hoard the rest for: the move, our get away (aka anniversary/my bday celebration/ half marathon trip) and heaven forbid one of us gets sick.  Then there is V, I love him-I really do.....but he doesn't see things anything in the same manner as I do.  He's decided to go almost broke on paid time off and start fresh at the beginning of the year.  Sigh.  While in some ways this is good, we'll save over a week in daycare cost BUT should Liam get sick (or the woman who watches him) it will all rest on me to take time off....me, the one who is hoarding my time off for other scheduled events.  Oh men.

I just couldn't help but laugh a little, we see things so differently.  And I get it, I do.  V just took a day off recently because work was so slow and spent the day with Liam, both of them had a blast!  I can see where V is coming from wanting to spend that time with Liam again, I just wish he'd carry over a little safety net.

Can I get an Amen?
Much Love,
Jen 

Building Our Home: Earnest Monies & Decor

We officially accepted the builder/developers counter offer on Friday afternoon.  Our realtor emailed us a big congratulations and asked when he could get our earnest money.  Wow that made it real, the money is already being handed out, at least these dollars go to the house.  Well I guess it all goes to the house but I have a running tally in my head of the things we have to buy and are planning on upgrading, ek!  Not an easy task for this saver!

Some of the items we are looking at: (from both my pinterest accounts ect)

• PAINT!
• Livingroom
• Master (mostly the color to the far left)
• Liam
• Familyroom
• Headboard for Master
• I've thought about building one
• Or I like this one
•  Dinning Table
• I like this style but haven't found one I love
• Decals!
• Liam's Room 
• (Or this one)
• Master
• Kitchen
• Family Room
• Fridge
• I like this one

Hold Your Babies Extra Close Today

Last night a little boy died in our community, he had been fighting aggressive brain cancer for more than half his short four years and couldn't battle on any longer.  His parents did all they could, even the most aggressive treatments, then when the cancer came back for the third time their son said to them "no more pokes" and they agreed, they treated him at home.  I followed their journey through his mom's blog and on facebook never actually meeting any member of his family only attending fundraising functions here and there.

This morning as V and Liam were eating scrambled eggs I read the news of this little boy's passing and I physically crumbled in tears, my heart breaks for this family.  I can not imagine his mother's pain, the sorrow his whole family feels.  Tears have been near all day.  Then I saw people start to post hurtful things on facebook this afternoon.  Here's the thing, his parents made the best choice for THEIR family, why in the world would you judge them after their child JUST passed!??!  It's been less than 24 hours!!!  My heart breaks.

Lucky V, it's been a slow week at work so he had already taken the day off to spend with Liam.  Liam was super happy to have an extra ~45 mins of sleep and woke up in cheerful jabber.  I took a little personal time at lunch to go home and snuggle him extra close (he seemed super happy about it too!).

My plea to you is to snuggle your babies extra close today, they are a true gift and blessing from God.

RIP Sweet Child, you are with God where there is no cancer.

Building Our Home: Offer Accepted

Oh my tummy turned a little as I type that, in a good way of course.  I literally just received an email from our realtor that our offer will be countered in the morning, the developer will pay 70% of our closing, good enough for us!  I called V and we agreed we would accept his counter......holy cow, we are really building our first home!

So it begins, I can not wait for all the things we get to pick out, I know it will be totally overwhelming at times but I think I'm ready!!!   I know I'm more than ready for Liam to have more room to run and play!

Building a House: The Waiting Game

Perhaps God is using this experience as another opportunity to teach me to be patient.  I wonder how that is going.....cuz I'm not a patient person.

Something I didn't expect about building a house; because we are building in a subdivision we picked a model and some upgrades and I thought you just paid the listed price, like buying boots at Target. 

Apparently not, the developer even told us "let me know what your offer is".  Later in the conversation he also mentioned the builder wanted permission to build a spec. home through the winter to keep his crew busy.  Two key things that led us to believe there was some wiggle room on the price.  Here's the thing though, I don't want to offend this guy, he seems very on the straight and narrow.  After speaking to our realtor he suggested that we ask him to pay our closing costs and use that money to purchase upgrades to our home (we planned on the upgrades anyway)....so we did.  We officially placed our offer this morning....so the waiting begins.  The developer has until Thursday to get back to us, I wish he'd just accept the offer as is so we can break ground!!

I'm so ready for this whole process to get rolling!!!

Building a Home: Selecting Our Lot

Last night after work V and I scurried over to a meeting with the developer of the subdivision where we plan to build our home.  Our realtor is out of town so one of his associates went with us, unfortunately we arrived before her.  BUT fortunately the developer was waiting for us and one of the nicest people I have ever encountered! He even shared with us a story about how he came up with the names of a few of the floor plans, the cheapest one was for his father and when he told his father about that he said "that was alright" with a smile....the floor plan we like is after his mother because she would have liked all the storage and the vaulted ceilings!

Once our stand-in-realtor arrived we began discussing all of our options.  V and I already knew what floor plan we want because it's the same as the home we made the unaccepted offer on.  We  will make a few changes to differentiate our home from that one.  Then we reviewed the upgrade options and were given a list of options for our lot.  We all agreed that V and I would drive out over the weekend and select our lot then we'd write up our buy-sell with a closing date roughly 120 days out.

This morning V let me sneak away for a workout, I got home just in time for Liam to snuggle and go down for a 3hr nap.   Once Liam finally woke up we all ate lunch and headed out to look at lots.  Since we had reviewed them the night before I *thought* I knew which one I liked but we both wanted to look and make sure.  I am SO glad we did!  We drove up and down the street, through the ally, parked and looked at the homes surrounding each lot and took into consideration distance to the park.....and we BOTH agreed on one.  Can we just take a minute to soak up the fact that we both agreed on something with ease?!  Whew!  I have a lot of peace about it, I really (REALLY) like our lot.

So now we just need our realtor to get home and write up our buy-sell agreement so they can break land!  Good thing he gets home tomorrow because it's snowing as we speak!

After that we'll have a million decisions to make on decor, so far V says it's all in my hands but I don't buy that for a minute, he's too opinionated! 

Juggling

Some days I think I rock at this whole super-wife, rockstar-working-mom gig.  Then there are weeks like this one.  Oy vey!   I'm sitting at work sipping a much needed latte and I could easily fall fast asleep right here, right now.

Some weeks I can rock out five or six healthy dinners, get lots of quality time in with Liam, have the whole house fairly well organized, all the bills paid early and even get a workout or two in.  Not this week, it's Friday morning and I haven't gotten a single workout in, there is hope for tomorrow...kinda.  The bills that are due this week are paid but I'm not ahead of the game like I want to be.  Some of the house is clean and I made....one healthy dinner.  In all fairness with Liam's fever that lasted Monday-Thursday morning I was just making him things I knew he would eat so he would eat something (homemade mac and cheese with peas).  I haven't skimped on the quality time with Liam because it's always at the top of my priority list. I only straightened my hair today because we have a meeting with the builder right after work, otherwise I'd be rocking wet-hair-pulled-into-a-ponytail style.

I'm exhausted.  I feel like I'm just barely keeping up and no where near getting ahead.  I feel like I'm juggling but I keep dropping all the balls.  I don't feel like a failure though because I'm still trying, you only fail if you give up.  All I can do is make a list and start checking things off one-by-one.

I'm sure all moms feel this way at times, maybe we put too much pressure on ourselves, who knows.  I don't think I'll ever be a "whatever" kind of mom, I'm always going to want to have it all; tons of quality time with Liam, clean house, healthy dinners, finances in check, happy family, career....I want it all and damn it I'm going to bust my ass until I have as much of this dream as I can.

Not entirely sure if there is a point in there, just a healthy dose of honesty about this week.  I'm just glad the election is over, we all know the result know so maybe people will keep a few more opinions to themselves, one can hope!

On House Hunting and {Potentially} Building

The house hunt has been.....interesting.  A few weeks ago we went out with our realtor and saw four homes, three of which were foreclosures.  It was slightly depressing to see these homes and know that someone had lived in them, loved them and lost them.  But if we found the right one we were ready to do some work and love it ourselves.

Unfortunately we didn't find one that was love worthy.  I must admit there was one I really wanted V to love, the backyard was to die for!  This was nearly twice the size we'd get with any new(er) construction and backed to undevelopable property (simply because of location).  But the house needed more love than either V or I was really willing to give.  The other homes weren't really worth mentioning here.

So a few weeks have gone on, V and I have been doing a lot of research and have been looking at every real estate site under the sun.  But nothing new popped up, nothing worth looking at anyway.  There are only a couple of subdivision here, one of which that you can build in....but V and I are using his Veteran loan and bank in our area aren't doing VA construction loans.  We felt stuck, at least for the Winter, maybe something would come on the market in the Spring? We hoped.  On a whim V emailed the developer of the subdivision where we put an offer in on a house that wasn't accepted, he explained our situation and asked simply if they planned to build any more houses of the layout we liked.  One hour later the developer emailed us back to tell us that they have worked with VA loan people before and will carry all the building cost until the house is built then we can buy it!  We can even pick out several variables, we'd sign a contract before they break ground with a closing date of about 120 days out.  V and I spoke with our realtor to make sure he'd be paid (yes, through the developer like the sale of a already built home) and discusses some other concerns and everything came up roses!  It's almost too good to be true!

So that is where we are, we meet with the builder this week.  It's pretty likely that we will sign our contract this week and break ground next week.  It's hard to believe that we will likely be building our first home, the home Liam will grow up in.  I'm totally in shock!

Has anyone else out there built?  Advice?!

V Plays Stay at Home Dadda

Liam was acting off yesterday, we chalked it up to the time change.....but boy was he grumpy!  Flash to this morning, Liam woke up crying really hard.  This is not normal for him at all, usually he happily wakes and calls out to us (in mumble-y 18 month old chatter).  Not today, today was full of loud cries.  I hadn't gotten up for the day yet (my alarm was set to go off in another 5 mins at 6:10am), so I told V that I would change Liam's diaper.  When I picked poor little Liam up he was physically on fire, I laid him on the changing table and started about stripping off his pjs, changing his diaper and taking his temp...... 102.5, yikes!  V didn't miss a beat, he called off work to spend the day with Liam. 

I quickly got ready then ran to the store for some juice and bananas (and bagels for V and I).  I'm so thankful to have a husband that is willing to stay home with our sick child. I know a lot of men wouldn't even consider staying home and some women who wouldn't let their husband stay home to care for an ill child.  I'm glad either of those things are true in my marriage.  (Even though V' boss thinks it's totally nuts that V will stay home with Liam he still allows Vic to use sick time to care for Liam.)  I called to check on Liam several times, each time V reassured me Liam was getting better and better.

Finally my work day was done, I rushes straight home and Liam was so very excited to see me!  V reported that Liam hadn't eatten great but was snacking and his temp had some down a little.  We spent a lovely evening of just chilling, eatting a little dinner and relaxing.  I gave Liam a second dose of infant IB profrin and now his temp is just slightly over 100 degrees.  A few minutes before we would have normally put Liam to bed he picked up a blanket off the floor and walked into his room, he was clearly ready!  We did our normal routine of; clean diaper, jammies, sippy of water and sit on my lap while Dadda reads and when we put Liam into his crib he rolled on his side and was out before we turned off the light!

Running for the Health of It

As fall descends on our city opportunities for a run become fewer and fewer.  I managed to squeeze a run in on Friday because I had taken a half day of paid time off for some much needed "me" time.  It's gotten pretty cool here, most days are cloud covered and below 50 (at best).  Friday's run was good, not great but absolutely worth it.  I had planned (and paid for) a race on Saturday morning but wasn't entirely sure I'd really do it.

Then Saturday morning rolled around.  Liam's been getting up at 6:00 am every-single-day. Normally he gets up at just shy of 7am on weekdays and almost 8am on weekends.  To say I was tired was an understatement.  We ate and played while the morning ticked away.  I himmed and hawed over whether or not I'd do my race.  I really wanted to, especially because I'd already paid for it.....at least it was another charitable race so the money hadn't gone to waste if I didn't run.  Then V pointed out the obvious; You know you will feel great after and be glad you did (and if you don't you'll be super grumpy later).  Point taken, I dressed and laced up at the very last minute.  Poor little Liam gets all upset when I start gettting ready, he was {surprisingly} still up when I left, which I hate but I could tell he needed a nap and would be down any minute.

I arrived at the race just in time to get my bib, put my goody bag (which had a cute hat! Yay!) in the car and warm up a little.  I couldn't have timed it better!  The course was a bit windey which I didn't love but at least they had plenty of volunteers to tell us where to turn.  I wondered if I'd think a lot about my Autoimmune Disease while doing the race since the race was for the local Oncology Nurses (the money went to benefit those who can't afford testing and treatment) but I didn't and I'm glad.  It was a cool morning, maybe mid-thrities.  I don't really even remember hearing my music while I ran, I was trying so hard to keep my pace steady.  I had to walk several times (stupid asthma!) but felt like I was able to run longer stretches.  Before I knew it I could see the end, once I had a straight path to the finish line I put it in full gear and ran as hard a I could.  There were two little girls cheering people on and they thought that was awesome, they started jumping and shouting even louder which encouraged me to really push!  There was a photographer right at the finish line, I remember smiling SO big because I realized I'd done my personal best and was able to be under an 11 minute miles.  I couldn't have been happier, here I was healthy enough to do this and help others and I'd gotten my personal best!

After confirming my official time I grabbed fancy coffees and bagels for V and I on the way home.  At home Liam was fast asleep one hour into his nap (usually between 2-3 hour now).  V and I ate and snacked after he took a pic for me.  I'm so very glad I did the race, V was right again.  I'm so sad that my running season is over, it's just too cold to continue (and I don't want to run in rain and snow).  I'm going to miss it so much!